why is he doing this?

[razz90]

So I have a really good friend, I've known him just under a year but we've gotten pretty close. There's always been a bit of sexual tension between us. He is quite a flirty guy (sending texts like 'you looked hot' etc). Anyway, during most of the time I've known him he's had a girlfriend, but in January they broke up. And in recent times he has gotten even more flirty with me. And since he is single, and I admittedly am quite attracted to him, I've been flirting back with him. When we're together there seems to be a lot of sexual tension too. Like yesterday we were with another friend, but at one point we were walking just us two and looking in each others eyes and talking about how we were looking into each others eyes (can't remember exactly what we were saying, but you get the idea) .

 

But I noticed there seems to be an imbalance with the flirting. He always initiates it, but then asks questions eg "so what do you want to do with me" etc, and sometimes he says he wants me, but sometimes he's very ambiguous saying "maybe" or "i think so". So yesterday we were flirt texting, and again, it was like I was doing all the legwork, etc. We were talking about 'private time' - he asked me when I wanted to see him, I said 'whenever you're free' and he didn't reply. In the end I was like "ok you don't want private time i get it, goodnight". He just said goodnight. Then I sent a sadface. So he kept asking why I sent a sadface. And i told him it was because I was confused, I wasn't sure what was going on. He responded with "fun and flirting". And I said "but you're not flirting. It's like it's just an ego boost for you. Or maybe you just don't want me to get the wrong idea and think there will actally BE private time"

 

And he didnt respond.

 

Obviously this friendly flirting IS an ego boost, for the both of us. But I'm just sorta confused. I would think this kind of situation would naturally lead to a FWB type situation or proper dating kind of thing, but clearly that's not what he wants.

 

So that's the story, sorry if it's confusing. But I'm hella confused. I haven't fallen for him. But I enjoy his company and find him attractive. And he seems to find me attractive. So why hasn't anything happened?! Why does he flirt all the time, but then backs off and act like he's not interested? Since that texting I wanted to talk to him. We were both on skype and talking like nothing happened. I even mentioned the text and asked why he hadn't responded but he was like "what text? sorry i fell asleep". So I just left it

 

So why is he behaving in this way? And what does he want??

[perfectlyflawed459]

First off, what exactly do YOU want with this guy? Would you be fine with just a FWB fling, or do you want it to develop into something more?

[razz90]

I don't really know at this point. I'd be happy with a fling. I'd be happy with nothing at all. (I'm not in a place right now that I want to have a boyfriend, unless I fall crazily in love with someone)

It;s just all that sexual tension that I don't know how to deal with.

[perfectlyflawed459]

Did he break up with his gf or did she end it, because he may be acting this way to cope with the loss of his relationship. Most of the time it is never a good idea to get involved with a guy that is fresh out of relationship because MOST (not all) guys deal with break ups by surpressing their feelings and trying to move on too quickly. I know you do not want anything serious with him, but even at that, you may still be setting yourself up for some disappointment and confusion while he is over here toying with the idea of you. He is obviously confused and probably still needs a little more time to deal with his break up. Don't allow yourself to be his pick-me-up, you deserve so much better than that!