HoldOn Posted June 21, 2004 Share Posted June 21, 2004 I just want to say that Miracles are possible! My father had a vasectomy and then fathered two more children because the surgery was not done properly and they never tested his results. However, I am 100% sure that he did not accuse my mother of infidelity. You need to TALK to your wife! Be completely honest with your feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
miz_barby Posted June 21, 2004 Share Posted June 21, 2004 I say you should talk to her about this, show her the test results then when the baby is born get a DNA test! That's what they are made for! Link to post Share on other sites
morrigan Posted June 22, 2004 Share Posted June 22, 2004 If you have received a result from a sperm test (and getting a second test from another doctor may not be a bad idea) it's time to be honest with your wife about your condition and her pregnancy. Right now, not nine months from now. It's not going to be easy, but it won't be easy years down the road when your worries eat at you, cause further problems in an already problematic marriage. Even worse, you may unintentionally take it out on the child, and that would not be right at all. It's not only about your anguish and her (possible) lies--it's about the fact that you need to resolve the problems in this marriage or get as amicable of a divorce as you can right now. Neither you or your wife has the right to emotionally wreck the child's life. Are you ready to be a father, or do you feel that this marriage is over? If you don't feel you can cope with the potential that this child is not yours and your wife has lied to you, you need to seek out the advice of an attorney right now. If you are not ready to be a father to this child, you need to get a divorce before your wife has the baby, or else the courts will probably regard you as the legal father, regardless or not of what a later DNA test says. You would then be held as accountable as a father financially, if not emotionally. Does this sound harsh? I suppose it does, but if you do not want to be a father to this child, you need to get out of your wife and this child''s life right now, instead of dragging on in a unhealthy situation, especially when the child would be old enough to understand the anger in the home. At least growing up with a single mother, the child won't be subject to memories of a father abandoning him or her. Link to post Share on other sites
GET REAL Posted June 25, 2004 Share Posted June 25, 2004 my husband also thought he couldnt ever have kids because of what his family told him about his surgery he had as a child,we got married in 1999,we were not using birth control or anything,and we thought we couldnt have kids but in 2001 i got pregnant and again in 2003 and they are in fact his we just prayed about and had faith,doctors didnt make this world they dont have the final say in anything god does and if he wants it to happen it will no matter what any doctor in this world says. Link to post Share on other sites
Meili Posted June 26, 2004 Share Posted June 26, 2004 Are you suffering low self-esteem b/c of your infertility? is this the reason that you are willing to swallow your wife's possible infidelity? what if your wife brings you more other men's children in the future if you dont let her know the truth now? Link to post Share on other sites
echocrush Posted June 26, 2004 Share Posted June 26, 2004 I agree that the two of you need to talk, but do keep in mind that there are miracle babies out there taht were not supposed to be possible. My mother was sterile from an IUD she had put in after I was born, she tried for many years to get preganant but they said she had severe scar tissue and it would never happen. 22 years later she married a man who had gone through a vasectomy and six weeks after the wedding was rushed to the emergency room for a tubal pregnancy. I know my Mom would never have cheated on her husband, but even if she had... it was pretty amazing that she had also overcome her infertility. Also a good friend of mine got pregnant a few years ago, after a tubal ligation... . When she went to the doctor he told her there was no way she was pregnant they had been cut and burned! Seemed the baby was just determined... she found a way. So if women can have babies despite the odds men can make them too. I would talk to her and tell her your concern, you might just find out that you have a little miracle on the way. If it still bothers you after the baby is born get a blood test. But if it doesn't forget about it. Love your miracle and be thankful that you have been blessed. Link to post Share on other sites
RevJPC Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 Wait, wait, wait a minute! This is actually Ms. RevJPC responding. Just for clarification! My husband had testicular issues that I am still not completely clear about to this day. When he was three or four years old, he had to have one testicle removed and possibly part of the other? ...still not sure what's there and what isn't... It feels like he has one small testicle. There. I said it. So anyway, when we were trying to have our daughter, it wasn't enough to just let nature take it's course. Nothing had been happening for a year. He saw a specialist and had his semen graded, just like you talked about. There was the lack of motility, the deformed cells, and the insanely low sperm count to boot! Ironically, the gal who administered the testing for us was a friend of a friend that we had known in past social circles. She walked us through what we could do to help our chances to conceive - mostly staying very hydrated for the sperm's sake, and to just keep trying. Within eight weeks we were pregnant with our daughter. Now if you were really healthy to begin with, and if you were enjoying an active and healthy sex life with your wife, why couldn't it be your baby? Since these posts began, do you have any real reason to believe that she wasn't being faithful? Because it'd be a surefire way to really mess things up if you charge in and accuse her of impregnating herself with some other mans baby! Get some more facts, man! Link to post Share on other sites
Kizzyfur Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 Yes, I think he should be SURE it's not his before he flies off the handle. It only takes ONE sperm to fertilize an egg. Low sperm count is far from infertile. I also agree that many babies are born as "miracles". My grandmother was told she couldn't have any more kids after my mom. Her reproductive organs were laden with cysts. Well, she conceived, but according to her doctor, my uncle was a tumor. It's a good thing she didn't believe him at the time. Link to post Share on other sites
HoldOn Posted July 13, 2004 Share Posted July 13, 2004 My mother also thought I was a tumor until the doctor heard my heartbeat! Link to post Share on other sites
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