packersgirl Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 Alright, there's this guy I've been friends with for years now. He and I have always connected on a pretty deep level. We have amazing conversations, and are completely comfortable saying anything to each other. I've always had a little crush on him, but he was in a long term relationship, from the time I met him until about two weeks ago... He's always talked to me about how amazing he thinks I am, and how sexy I am, and how much he'd just like to make love with me. This kind of talk has increased more in the past month. He's been saying things like I'm beautiful, I have the cutest butt and the perfect breasts, I'm a deep person with insightful thoughts, I'm caring and yadda yadda yadda. I'm kinda skeptical because he's on this "break" with this girl, and he's been talking more like this too me, not to mention more huggy and I catch him staring at me all the time. Do you think he's doing all this because he's genuinely interested or because he just wants to sleep with me? Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 My advice: wait and see. Don't rush into anything. If he is to leave his gf for good, chances are he'll need some time alone, etc etc. Don't allow him to use you - sexually or emotionally. Again: patience! Link to post Share on other sites
Phelly Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 well, be careful. But don't be TOO careful. I kind of fell for my gf the same way... We were just normal friends for 4 years... But in the exact same way you've explained your situation, me and her connected on a deep level and we had that little crush for a long time, even during relationships with other people. I used to help her with "guy problems" too, even though I would secretly be a bit jealous. I'm not sure just how it happened but we started throwing out little compliments ilke that..you know, you're really cute...you're really funny...you're really beautiful...then it gets outta hand, and the more that I said it to her, the more I convinced myself that it was true. Nowadays I am very much in love, and it's not about the sex. Actually I'm still a virgin, oh well. I think that my gf is the most beautiful girl ever to walk this earth. But that's just a side-effect of love.... Now I suppose I'll have to concede the possibility that this guy just wants sex or what not. But if it's true what you say, that you and him connect on a deep level, then I think it's also likely that he could simply be falling for you. I say you explore this thing, but go with your gut. Don't allow him to abuse you sexually, ok...that's the worst thing. My GF was in a relationship with a guy who was very sincere for a long time until they had sex(he basically forced it on her) a few times then bam, he changed quickly and radically and eventually broke up with her(because of her race, if you can believe that). It makes me sick to this day. Link to post Share on other sites
ziggue Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 I would also be skeptical about his actions because of the girl as well. They may be just on a break. You don't know. He may be complementing you a bit more often because he probably feels free to do so now. He may have always found you attractive but never got the chance to flirt with you as much as he would like because he had a girlfriend. I agree with CurlyIam don't allow him to use you sexually and emotionally. This guy needs some time to sort things out in his head. If you wanna start something you have to make sure that he has this girl completely out of his system. You don't want him to end up leaving you after a couple of weeks/months and going back to her. Like what CurlyIam said don't rush into anything. It could save you alot of hurt and heart ache. Not to mention the friendship you two have between eachother. Link to post Share on other sites
Author packersgirl Posted June 16, 2004 Author Share Posted June 16, 2004 Thanks! You all have been a big help and confirmed a lot in my mind. I won't rush into anything, and I won't let him sexually abuse me. I'm still a virgin as well, Phelly, so don't feel too bad. I'll just take it slow, maintain our friendship, and see where things lead us. Link to post Share on other sites
Reckless Posted June 16, 2004 Share Posted June 16, 2004 Originally posted by packersgirl ...he was in a long term relationship, from the time I met him until about two weeks ago... He's always talked to me about how amazing he thinks I am, and how sexy I am, and how much he'd just like to make love with me. This kind of talk has increased more in the past month. I'm kinda skeptical because he's on this "break" with this girl, and he's been talking more like this too me... I don't like this at all Pgirl, the maths doesn't add up; he's been talking in what is quite frankly an overtly sexual manner for more than a month but he's only just broken up with his girlfriend? This guy has been actively pursuing you, with language that is highly sexual even though at the same time he was in a 'long term relationship'? Now, only two weeks into a 'break' he's pulled out all the stops to get you into bed. That spells very low class, extremely crass to me. Seriously, if nothing else he lacks the personal integrity to treat his girlfriend (and you) with proper respect, there's nothing wrong with attempts to seduce but only if you are free to do so. Surely you don't want your first time to be regrettable; I get the feeling that you are not consumed with love for this man and he certainly sounds like he views you as a sexual 'challenge'. Keep him as a friend, continue with the 'deep' conversations and if other topics get squeezed (no pun intended) out in favor of how great you'd be in bed and how pretty your breasts are there's your answer. Link to post Share on other sites
ziggue Posted June 16, 2004 Share Posted June 16, 2004 Hopefully you don't rush into anything with this guy. If you do you will regret it and learn how do deal with it the hard way. His just broken up with his Ex of a couple of years. The last thing he is gonna want is another long term relationship. He'll wanna go out and have some fun for a while. Maybe even play the field a little. That's if he doesn't want to back to his ex girlfriend. I think he may already know you have an interest in him and is playing on that so yes is more likely the answer to your question on this post. Or like what Reckless says. He may also see you as a sexual challenge as well. Just a warning. Link to post Share on other sites
Author packersgirl Posted June 17, 2004 Author Share Posted June 17, 2004 Wow, I never thought of it that way... me being seen as a sexual challenge. But it does make sense. Link to post Share on other sites
Author packersgirl Posted July 1, 2004 Author Share Posted July 1, 2004 Well, I thought I'd throw an update out there for all ya'll! I'm SO-OOO glad I took everyone's advice and didn't rush into anything with this guy, hell, I even started talking to him less and observing his actions more after listening to what ya'll said! I found out Sunday that he and his ex are back together (which he failed to mention to me, I over heard him tell someone else!!). I would've been nothing but a pawn to be played to him, which breaks my heart because we are good friends. Thanks again! =) Link to post Share on other sites
CurlyIam Posted July 1, 2004 Share Posted July 1, 2004 Allow me to make a forecast "he and his ex are back together, but not for long". Women do eventually keep up with the reality and move on. Good for you for posting the thread, you had a good instinct! Link to post Share on other sites
imavictim Posted July 5, 2004 Share Posted July 5, 2004 ok, hers what i think you should do , get him to your house , and initiate what he is going to think is hot kinky doins'..then when he's really into the whole thing, ask him what he's going to do about his gf, whom he happens to be on a "break" with, bear in mind that these questions need to be posed before there is any kind of serious sexual contact , ask him what he really wants from you, see, if he does really only want sex, and he thinks your willing to supply him with just that, he will feel no need to lie to you about his intentions , if he thinks you want a relationship with him, then he will lie to you and lies hurt people. So i'm saying trick the boy. and i am a boy..so i might get kicked out of the club for this.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author packersgirl Posted July 11, 2004 Author Share Posted July 11, 2004 One of my dearest friends is leaving the country for two months and tonight was her good bye party. Wouldn't you know it?! He... the guy from all the previous posts... showed up with his girlfriend! I found it odd actually. I'm used to seeing the two of them together, but everytime I looked at him tonight, I was reminded of all the things he said to me. Then I looked at his girlfriend and wondered if she had any idea that he talked to other girls like that. It made me sick to think that he could do something like that to her. She's a great girl, I used to think he was this amazing, too good to be true guy. Tonight however, I realized that he's not. I'm glad that they're back together, and if they ever break up again, I will not let myself be the one he turns to for "comfort". Link to post Share on other sites
confused21 Posted July 12, 2004 Share Posted July 12, 2004 I was reading this topic and noticed how similar it was to my situation but with some differences. My best guy friend who's 25 and I (I'm 24) have been friends for 2 years and intimiate for the last 10 months (no kissing or sex but we do everything else) The entire time I've known him he's always used very sexual language with me not directly about me but in general. I've been trying to figure out for the last 10 months why he all of the sudden has a sexual interest in me but since I'm a virgin and I could be a sexual challenge to him due to my lack of experience but he seems to have no problem wanting to teach me things. Any ideas?? Link to post Share on other sites
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