4givrnt4gtr Posted April 1, 2012 Share Posted April 1, 2012 (edited) Ughh Im frustrated with myself.... I ended a relationship about three years ago with a guy who moved 400 miles away from me. although that was the excuse to end the relationship, there were other issues... But now my problem is that I STILL am hanged up on the guy...IT SUCKS Ive done literally EVERYTHING to get over him...I even dated someone else for 2 YEARS.... I loved that guy too...just not the same way I loved the other ex. I was able to distract myself enough to enjoy the relationship, but that second guy had so many problems himself that I could never really fall hard as I did with the first one. I kept remembering him on and off...sometimes even looked him up on facebook to see how he was doing. I kept feeling guilty because I knew my heart was not entirely with my boyfriend, so I kept trying to force myself to move on. In any case, that 2 year relationship ended about a month ago, and somehow I decided since I was supposedly over the first guy, to contact him and say hi...I kinda knew he had not been in another relationship since ours ended and so you know I was curious. So I ended up adding him on facebook. He accepted and sent me a message asking me how I was. I sent him a response and just kinda ended at that... Well, ofcourse I had to face the fact that I was clearly not over him. Whenever I heard a song he had sang to me, or given me in a note or a card I would immediately be transported to the time we dated and it ache like the breakup had just happened...is terrible. So last weekend I posted something on his wall...sorta like an inside joke we had when we were dating. He didnt say anything or responded at all. I was a little hurt because I thought he at least would find it amusing... And then last Wednesday I noticed he was off of my friend's list. I immediately thought he deleted me and blocked me as I could not even look up his profile. Somehow I convinced a mutual friend of ours to see if he had blocked me but apparently he just deleted his whole profile. So now i feel really bad...I know that this is probably the best thing that could happen because since FB was my last connection to him, I am now REALLY forced to move on....yet...Im still hurt, and sad...I just feel like I have not been as happy in these past 3 years as I was when i dated him, and that sucks. I also wonder if my posting on his wall had something to do with his deleting his page... I need to move on but not sure how to do it....does anyone have ANY idea how to FINALLY let go of someone??? Clearly time has not done its job.... Edited April 1, 2012 by 4givrnt4gtr Link to post Share on other sites
Nohbody Posted April 1, 2012 Share Posted April 1, 2012 No clue, but I do so love to stumble around in the dark. Link to post Share on other sites
Phanpooh Posted April 1, 2012 Share Posted April 1, 2012 I like this story. Im so sorry but it s interesting for me. Ur main char is same type as my style. And we never take back an ex, in my case, 'second chance' isnt a word. Believe me, break up for him mean over, even he loved u or not, happened for a reason. If u show ur emotional for him, he will run away as farly as possible. There only 1 way could help u now, try ur best! If u really love him, go to him ( it s a lie, if u love him that much, u r not here now) seriously, try to cope and heal, come to better place and then, if there is 'love', tell me about ur story again... Link to post Share on other sites
immitable Posted April 1, 2012 Share Posted April 1, 2012 I like this story. Im so sorry but it s interesting for me. Ur main char is same type as my style. And we never take back an ex, in my case, 'second chance' isnt a word. Believe me, break up for him mean over, even he loved u or not, happened for a reason. If u show ur emotional for him, he will run away as farly as possible. There only 1 way could help u now, try ur best! If u really love him, go to him ( it s a lie, if u love him that much, u r not here now) seriously, try to cope and heal, come to better place and then, if there is 'love', tell me about ur story again... Just hide all your emotions, suffocate yourself with them and let the love go. Keep that Great Wall of China of pride up and good luck with all your future relationships. Great piece of advice Phanpooh. Not! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Kamille Posted April 1, 2012 Share Posted April 1, 2012 4givrnt4gtr hi! It's been so long. I think many things are going on in your OP. You just broke up with someone a month ago. A breakup is usually a time of upheaval, even if you never loved him quite the same way you loved the other guy. Your routine might be upended and, certainly, the sense of companionship you might have gotten from having someone in your life is gone. You're also faced with uncertainty about your romantic future. These sudden changes have usually meant, for me, that I will have a bout of introspection. Often, it'll will mean trying to "fix" the loneliness by turning to the past. Or, to put it another way: there's a chance your feelings for your ex-ex are magnified by the most recent break-up. I'm not questioning that you did love him or still love him. I remember how broken-hearted you were when you two ended. But having the feelings for the ex back now makes sense. It's, in part, a coping mechanism. The Facebook thing: I would likely wonder if the deleted profile had anything to do with me too. But, I'm going to make up a statistic and say that at best, there's only a 20% chance that the delete had anything to do with you. And if you had anything to do with it, the delete is a sign that you don't want to get involved with the guy. No matter which way you look at it, it would mean he's not willing or ready for a relationship. Look at it this way: the most recent contact was keeping you stuck in the past. Him deleting his profile is likely for the best. It might hurt and feel like rejection right now, but in the long run, it'll help you not spend your time focused on an impossible relationship. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
fucpcg Posted April 1, 2012 Share Posted April 1, 2012 When you lose someone you love to death, nobody questions you if you still have feelings for them months, even years later. I find it ironic, weird, and wrong, that people feel if you lose someone you love to a breakup, that still feeling some pain down the road is wrong or unhealthy. Every girl that I ever loved, that I broke up with (at age 41 the count is now 5 loves), still has a very special place in my heart. It's a fact we must move on, but I disagree 100% it's a fact that we need to stop loving someone from a breakup. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Phanpooh Posted April 1, 2012 Share Posted April 1, 2012 Just hide all your emotions, suffocate yourself with them and let the love go. Keep that Great Wall of China of pride up and good luck with all your future relationships. Great piece of advice Phanpooh. Not! IN fact, i didn't give an advice sometime, it's my exp life and i just want to share it online, for me nothing right or wrong, just thinking make it so. If you think about black or white, i think you know what is a problem here. when you see sth, dun say it is right or wrong, just it is, and let it pass... she had her answer, she just confuse and try to cope, so i just pull her out of dark ( not blue ), after 3y everything changed, she need to know what she need and then she could live her life with own herself, or she will live with her regret. I talked by my exp with my first ex, i hide allthing behind her, i did some wonderful things for her but always hide myself behind my mask, and then, we stuck in NC for almost 5y, maybe more... we now, just friends - shoulders to cry, and we always watching our life, it's beautiful... Love? i dun know what is that. Emotional? let see ^^ Link to post Share on other sites
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