boy cooties

[partygirl]

hi there. I recently had a frustrating and disturbing experience. This guy that I was starting to see met me at this friend's party last weekend. When he walked in the room, I went and sat down beside him to talk and catch up, since I hadn't seen him in a week or so. We were talking, things were fine, and all of a sudden he leans over and gives me a kiss in the cheek. K, no big deal, we've kissed before. I teasingly said, "hey, I don't want your boy germs!" and I wiped my cheek laughing. He looked at me like I had slapped him across the face. He asked me what I meant by that. I said, "You know, boy cooties!" Obviously I was just hoarsing around. I'm always like that. Well, he decided not not talk to me for the entire evening and he said that I should leave him alone and go talk to my friends. At first I thought he was joking but he acted like I wasn't there, even when I asked him if he wanted to talk about this in another room. I was shocked and thought, Either he is completely insane or I was a complete bitch. I discussed it with my best friend and she said that he has major mental problems if he can't handle a little teasing.

 

Later on that night, at the party, he came over to me and said, "When you realize what you've done, call me."

 

I looed at him like he was speaking spanish. What the hell was his problem!? K, so I tried to have fun the rest of the night but in the back of my mind I kept feeling like I was to blame for this sudden outburst. What do you guys think?

[Tony T]

It sounds to me like he thinks a great deal of you and is very sensitive. He probably planned this kiss in his head for days and expected a far different result. When he kissed you, he was in a very sensitive and romantic mode. You were surprised and tried nervously to get through it with humor. What you said was something he had not planned for or envisioned. Most probably, he expected you to be touched, appreciative and very receptive.

 

I don't think he has problems, necessarily. He just needs to learn over time that people don't always react as he planned and they don't have to. You had an absolute right to make a joke. If you did not smile or give out a slight laugh when you reacted and talked about boy cooties, he may very well have taken you seriously, particularly having just been let down in his expectations.

 

His attitude the rest of the evening was probably due to his letdown, the awkwardness of it all, the embarassment, the humiliation. Even if he understood the joke, since he really likes you a lot he would be very sensitive if you made light or humor about what to him was a sincere expression of affection for you.

 

You really didn't do anything wrong. The poor guy was just trying to have a special moment with you and it backfired on him. If he doesn't get over it quickly, then he does have a problem. Don't feel bad at all. You had a right to be a bit shocked, stunned, surprised. You were not prepared for this kiss...and his timing of it sounds like it was way off.

 

I wouldn't give it another thought. If he asks you, let him know you were a bit nervous and surprised so you made some funny comments. If he doesn't ask you, just drop it.

 

But don't expect another kiss from this guy, not in this life.