JoeyArnold Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 why does all that have to attach itself to her particularly? Why not move on? It's not. The focus is not simply on the ex. The focus is in doing the right thing in having an open mind which helps a person move on anyways. Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 Beg??!! Uhm hello, no-one should *ever* beg. I would at least confront her: beg her to explain why she dumped you originally. Either you can be her friend or you can try to learn from her: learn from your past: maybe you want to avoid girls like your ex from now on. Link to post Share on other sites
JoeyArnold Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 Beg??!! Uhm hello, no-one should *ever* beg. I'm willing to do almost anything to discover the truth that can illuminate what really happened so that I can learn from the past & move on. Link to post Share on other sites
69ways Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 Beg??!! Uhm hello, no-one should *ever* beg. JoeyArnold , have you not noticed that everyone here is questioning your comments...time for some serious thinking m8..... Link to post Share on other sites
69ways Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 I'm willing to do almost anything to discover the truth that can illuminate what really happened so that I can learn from the past & move on. You cant, people sometimes react to situations and they dont even know why they react, you believe anyone likes to break up and cause pain?No but it happens and most times they will give you a reason:Fell out of love i.e but they cant say why they feel this way. Stop scratching your wounds man, go NC if you want to heal and stay NC.... Hope you learn something out of this forum..... Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 (edited) It's not. The focus is not simply on the ex. The focus is in doing the right thing in having an open mind which helps a person move on anyways. who is doing the moving on then? i thought we were discussing the ex who must be sniggering at how easy to are to control here ex: "boo hoo i'm sooo lonely and confused" girlfriend: "will the ex ever just go? role play... Edited April 4, 2012 by darkmoon 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JoeyArnold Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 You cant, people sometimes react to situations and they dont even know why they react. Keep an open mind to learning from the past while moving on. Link to post Share on other sites
69ways Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 Keep an open mind to learning from the past while moving on. lolol, you always say something that has nothing to do with the quote..... I agree form your statement above but to me it seems like you have not learned anything...... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JoeyArnold Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 Roleplay. I'm just trying to describe the process of moving on. Here is what I would do. I would schedule a meeting with my former GF. I would ask her very important questions. I will write down the answers maybe. Hopefully she says something. But I want to give her at least an hour. Maybe the information will help me learn from my mistakes or just to see what her mistakes are so that I can put up the red flags if I see those things in the next person I'm dating. But after the meeting I will move on & won't talk to the person anymore. I will totally kick her out of my life for good. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
JoeyArnold Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 You cant..... Fell out of love... I know life is unpredictable & that we can't always do everything we think should be done but we should at least try. Plus, love is not something that we are to fall out of. I know people say that they fall out of love all of the time. I don't call that real love because real love is about commitment & not just reactions to feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
69ways Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 I'm just trying to describe the process of moving on. Here is what I would do. I would schedule a meeting with my former GF. I would ask her very important questions. I will write down the answers maybe. Hopefully she says something. But I want to give her at least an hour. Maybe the information will help me learn from my mistakes or just to see what her mistakes are so that I can put up the red flags if I see those things in the next person I'm dating. But after the meeting I will move on & won't talk to the person anymore. I will totally kick her out of my life for good. Thats one way to approach but it depends on the situation, if she caught you in bed with her best friend, you dont really need to go asking her the why now.... Link to post Share on other sites
JoeyArnold Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 Thats one way to approach but it depends on the situation, if she caught you in bed with her best friend, you dont really need to go asking her the why now.... If she caught me in bed with another woman then this kind of situation seems to be self-explanatory. Usually these kinds of situations are so common that it is better just to assume all of the details without going in depth about it with the other person. So in that particular situation, if my GF caught me cheating then she should assume the worse & say like "Screw you" to me & move on & confuse to even look at me ever again. Link to post Share on other sites
69ways Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 If she caught me in bed with another woman then this kind of situation seems to be self-explanatory. Usually these kinds of situations are so common that it is better just to assume all of the details without going in depth about it with the other person. So in that particular situation, if my GF caught me cheating then she should assume the worse & say like "Screw you" to me & move on & confuse to even look at me ever again. So you see , is not black and white, happy you agree because some of your posts look like you have a strange approach on these issues Link to post Share on other sites
robkris8079 Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 yeah there is so much gray. Fact is people change. Their want's, needs, desires, lifestyles, everything changes. Events in life change people's point's of views and sometimes people just decide what they wanted and seen as great at one point is no longer what they want or that great to them anymore. Sometimes and this is what sucks the most is there isn't an answer to what happened in a relationship. Should we consider the cheating ones lucky? A finger to point, an exact event that explains it all? Nope sucks all the same. I don't even think if you asked ex's in relationships that seemed wonderful one day then broke it off the next for an answer they would even have one. All I can say is if it didn't work the bright side is now you are free to explore the world and find something better. Something that will last, something that is great. Link to post Share on other sites
JoeyArnold Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 So you see , is not black and white, happy you agree because some of your posts look like you have a strange approach on these issues People are too quick to assume, to judge, to close their minds. Link to post Share on other sites
JoeyArnold Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 I don't even think if you asked ex's in relationships that seemed wonderful one day then broke it off the next for an answer they would even have one. This comment right here is very popular & common. We are so quick to judge & to assume that the person may not have an answer or that it doesn't matter because it won't help us anyways. Why are we so closed minded in thinking this? Link to post Share on other sites
69ways Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 This comment right here is very popular & common. We are so quick to judge & to assume that the person may not have an answer or that it doesn't matter because it won't help us anyways. Why are we so closed minded in thinking this? Maybe because it happened to us Link to post Share on other sites
JoeyArnold Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 Maybe because it happened to us That is what experience says. It says we know what to do because of the certain situations that we have lived through & the things that resulted from them, but our hypothesises & conclusions of our experience is always up to debate & is always something that is often taken for granted & often misinterpreted. We don't always know everything. We don't always make the right decisions. Experience doesn't help without the the proper goggles of wisdom, perspective, attitude, & lifestyle. Link to post Share on other sites
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