asianpartyboy Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 Remember even when I was a small kid, my mom used to tell me that "silence treatment" is the worst form of punishment, and we should always talk things out, communicate. I guess it's pretty pathetic that we have to choose NC to move on. I know she is hurting too, but deep down inside, I know contacting her would make things worse. It would make her feel better, probably. But it wouldn't make me feel any better. I don't want anything else except her love. It's either live or die. Day 7 of NC. Taking one step at a time. I try to get out of bed every morning, go to work and stay focused at work, go home and go out with friends. I will get over. Thanks for hearing me out -a Link to post Share on other sites
estakado Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 read my posts bro, I am here with you, just keep at it. I am a month in and it gets better, I am back to almost eating. Stay busy bro, if you can just get out and check your neighborhood out. Get to know different places and/or plan a small trip every weekend. You'll get there bro! Link to post Share on other sites
sid3 Posted June 15, 2004 Share Posted June 15, 2004 I hate it too. You've still got me beat, I'm glad to see I'm not ahead of you! Your right on the money, the silence treatment is the cruelest form of punishment. Like I had mentioned in my post, no reply leaves the mind to wonder. At least a negative reply would dispel hope. I'm with you on the no contact, learn from my recent mistake, then it won't have been totally in vain. I went to see a therapist, trying to get my head together. I was told to minimize the urge to make contact, to imagine a large stop sign and change your thoughts to; just get through this day, respect her need for space. Hope it helps. Link to post Share on other sites
Author asianpartyboy Posted June 22, 2004 Author Share Posted June 22, 2004 I felt horrible this morning. Almost threw up. I couldn't focus on work at all. I want to talk to her so much, asking how she is doing. Does she miss me? I want to let her know that we both made mistakes. I want to ask her if we could talk face to face so that we could go on with our lives better, but I know that's impossible at this point because of all the emotions we still have for each other. This is definitely the hardest thing I've even done in my life. I hope it's for the best. -a Link to post Share on other sites
I'mRickJames Posted June 22, 2004 Share Posted June 22, 2004 Hang in there bro, whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Our minds are going to be playing a lot of tricks on us during this time (like how come they do this right before the summer....so they can have fun during the summer, having fun then convientantly come back to us in the fall?) Just stay true to yourself and take it one step at a time. Link to post Share on other sites
msrealdoll Posted June 22, 2004 Share Posted June 22, 2004 This thread breaks my heart. I'm so sorry each of you are going through this. Link to post Share on other sites
estakado Posted June 23, 2004 Share Posted June 23, 2004 Theres no shame in letting your grief out bro and I am glad that you are keeping with the No Contact. Day by day you will get better. If you can pick up a weekly paper and see if there is anything going on around your area. Keeping busy does work. Yeah I hate the night too. Keep posting bro. Originally posted by asianpartyboy I felt horrible this morning. Almost threw up. I couldn't focus on work at all. I want to talk to her so much, asking how she is doing. Does she miss me? I want to let her know that we both made mistakes. I want to ask her if we could talk face to face so that we could go on with our lives better, but I know that's impossible at this point because of all the emotions we still have for each other. This is definitely the hardest thing I've even done in my life. I hope it's for the best. -a Link to post Share on other sites
dreamguy Posted June 23, 2004 Share Posted June 23, 2004 asianpartyboy, I want to talk to her so much, asking how she is doing. Does she miss me? I want to let her know that we both made mistakes. Think about it this way. If you had previously pursued her too much. Then you can be sure she misses you now that you're not pursuing her anymore. She got addicted to you pursuing her because it made her feel so good that she forgot the pain of not having you around and/or the guilt of having broken your heart. She got used to getting your calls and/or emails and/or text messages every day. Missing something is not so hard. You just gotta lose it after having become accustomed to it (even if it was bad for you but made you feel good... like drugs for example). The most important point to consider is that "To miss something is must first feel good to have it" and I bet you that your phone calls (after she took the decision to break up with you) made her feel damn good about herself !! She was feeding on them to stay alive, grow stronger and eventually, become able to walk away from you while feeling great and never missing you !! By pursuing her you are giving her just that !! That's what she wants. You don't want her to leave ? Then you'd better try a different approach. Stop giving her something to feed on. The more you can last in the "No Contact" process, the more chances you have of getting her to miss you. She'll start getting weaker by the day and hopefully she'll be so weak she'll make contact. Again this method is only to be used if you got dumped and you didn't do anything wrong to deserve it !! If you harmed your ex in any cruel way then forget everything I wrote above. You must keep in touch and try to fix your mistake (but I'm talking about big mistakes not some silly argument over which she decided to end the relationship). Keep us updated asianpartyboy. Link to post Share on other sites
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