Feel a lack of progress...

[JolliX]

Ok, first I will say that I know it hasn't been long enough to feel like progress hasn't been made, but that is how I'm feeling, and what I want to vent about.

 

July - December of last year was very stressful in terms of work, romantic relationship, where to live, etc. Evertually I found a great place to live, my romantic relationship ended (either Jan 1st, or Jan 26th depends on how you consider a break vs a break up actually being established). However, during that six month span I became severely depressed, down on myself, ill-content with my life, and just overall felt stuck.

 

When the break in my romantic relationship happened, I decided that I really needed to step up what I was doing with myself (I had tried an anti-depressant that gave me horrible side effects and gave up on those, and seen a therapist a few times during my months of stress). So at the beginning of this year, I tried another anti-depressant (which so far has helped), went to and completed therapy (with a good therapist that I trusted), reconnected with old friends, and generally got my life back on track.

 

As I said, the anti-depressants help a bit (they at least make me feel good that I'm sticking with a treatment instead of just giving up on it). I went to nine sessions of therapy, and by the last one, my therapist said that I seemed nearly infinitely better than when I started (I am now done with the therapy as she said she saw no need for me to come back unless I started feeling like I did). In addition, I've began volunteering again (I'm the Chair of Art of a huge fund raiser for the ADA, work as an ambassador of events for a local professionals organization, am helping out a major company at an exhibit at a large convention, and mentoring youth), something I had stopped doing while I was down and feeling out.

 

I've also picked up several activities I either haven't done in a while, or have always wanted to try (playing in a soccer league, a softball league, and a sand volley ball league, as well as participating in gaming events and tournaments).

 

To get to the point, I'm doing a lot of things that are making me feel great while doing them, however there are two things that keep making me feel like I'm not making any progress. The first is my job. It's a decent job, and I enjoy it most days, but it's pretty dead end, and I want something that I can acheive more with, but I have no idea what to even try for. Second is that I don't feel I'm completely over my ex yet. I soemtimes miss he companionship a bit, and often times find myself bitter towards her, and wanting to do something just for the sake of doing it better than she could do it. Needless to say, I'd be much happier if I knew what career I wanted to prusue, and if I just didn't care about/think of my ex at all.

 

Wise words or comments are welcome. Thank you.

[desertsessions]

I feel you man, I don't even have a job right now and am having a hell of a time finding one. It's making me pretty depressed everyday to wake up, and sit around my house looking for work on the internet. It's painful to know that when i do get a job it's going to be some job that i most likely hate...i also miss my ex...the whole job and never feeling good enough always made me treat her bad, due to insecurity. I feel really bad about it, and even 2 years later miss that girl a lot.

 

 

BUT...Then, now and the future are all defined on their own line.

 

I am okay knowing, that i will work some crappy job, and i will slowly making steps towards a career I'm more than happy with...i feel drive, ambition and for once in my life have goals...and to be honest it feels good. I'm even going to give back my ex girlfriends stuff to her, and apologize for my misguided behavior. I am literally trying to redeem myself on every level, and I'm excited to see what the future holds. Just be positive bud!

Edited April 3, 2012 by desertsessions

[Exit]

Sometimes that last lingering bit of emotion we still feel for an ex doesn't go away until we meet the next one. This isn't at all the same as rushing to meet someone when we aren't even out of the early stages of healing. It sounds like you're pretty far along, and as you said, it's just a matter of missed companionship, and thinking about an ex at least provides you someone to think about. The last lingering thoughts probably won't stop until you find a new love interest.

 

As far as jobs, I would just look at job listings and keep an eye out. You don't have to know what to look for in order to start looking.

[Mr Scorpio]

Wise words or comments are welcome. Thank you.

 

Well, I don't have any wise-words to offer, but perhaps some perspective? First. you're doing a lot of volunteering, and thus networking, which may help you find a job which you consider more rewarding.

 

Second, given all the activities you're doing (soccer, volleyball, etc) you are greatly expanding your social network, which may help you find a new partner.

 

Third, you might have a dead-end job, but it seems to be allowing you to pay rent and afford to partake in a lot of extra-curricular activities.

 

In short, from the sounds of it, I'd be happy to be where you are.

[oldguy]

Wow, you seem to be filling your waking moments with activities outside of yourself. Do you spend any 'you' time?

 

You might want to consider a career based on a passion.

You might begin by asking yourself; What do I enjoy doing, what are my passions, my hobbies, what did I enjoy doing the last time I enjoyed doing something?