Stupid Music

[AshleighL]

So I still can't post my short story because I am still not on my own computer, but I felt the need to post anyways.

I just got back home from our school's choir trip to Disney and Thomas is in choir and his girlfriend is in one of our lower level choirs so she got to go to just not perform.

Performing was awesome, but dealing with Thomas and his ever jealous girlfriend was a nightmare that led to three panic attacks in one day there.

Just seeing him all day for five days straight and being on a bus with him and performing him and his just in general presence there was enough without to kill me without his girlfriend helping by glaring at me when we were in line for a ride for an hour and a half and talking about me and making fun of me and snapping at me all the time.

By the way, the only reason she is so awful to me all the time is because I dated him. It's SO funny though (not funny but I'm sure you understand what I mean) because she cheated on him three times PLUS he just cheated on her two weeks ago and IN ADDITION they have broken up three times in the past month and a half. So, I don't quite understand why she has to be mad at me when her boyfriend is the one who cheated on her, dumped her twice, and ignored her all during the Disney trip.

But that is just Katie's logic everyone.

Anyways, seeing them just stressed me out to my breaking point (thus the panic attacks) and so here I am again.

The worst part is that the panic attacks more than anything were caused because I am so upset and worried that I will never be together with Thomas again.

Peachy.

Oh, and I guess I should talk about why I said music was stupid.

It is because there are so many songs that take me back.

Like our song (Smile by Uncle Kracker) and songs that he would sing to me like I Need You by Tim McGraw, Must be Doing Something right by Billy Currington, and Then by Brad Paisley. Not to mention depressing song like Miserable at Best by Mayday Parade, The Silence by Mayday Parade, and Over You by Miranda Lambert that just make me think of him and bring me down.

I mean there are songs that bring me strength like Fall Apart by Every Avenue but those are far and few between.

I guess over all I am just so FRUSTRATED with myself.

I just want this all to go away.

But even more and even worse:

I just want him back.