Dating Girls Who Have a Boyfriend

[wilsonx]

How they come is how they go. Remember that.

 

Sounds like you're itching for a world of pain. See you soon on the breakup forums

[Emilia]

BF/GF is a relationship. The fact that there is no marriage certificate is moot.

 

If this female wants you she can always break up with her BF.

 

You should never get involved with women that are seeing other men.

 

But, I go further: Lets assume she is casually dating a few men and shows interest in you. You should also be hesitant to be added to her stable of men.

 

Take care of yourself.

 

Welcome back!

[Pierre]

Yes, you're actually doing her the favor in her eyes by relieving her of her unhappy relationship. I was once that clueless guy that made her unhappy by not fulfilling her desires. I didn't understand how women operate. As a result, I got shafted in the end while some other dudes got to have sex with my gf who I hadn't even had sex with yet.

 

Why does the guy with the Sean Connery avatar sound like such a beta male?

 

Beta?????????????:laugh:

 

And your GF was doing other men and you never got to have sex with her. And you call me beta???:eek:

[Pierre]

I really liked when you pointed out his Sean Connery avatar. The actor made famous for playing the guy who gets the girl... even if that girl is trying to kill him.

 

Any man whether Alfa or Beta should avoid deceitful dishonest women.

 

Every once in a while a crazoid BF shoots the lover of his GF. It happens!

[Oxy Moronovich]

I really liked when you pointed out his Sean Connery avatar. The actor made famous for playing the guy who gets the girl... even if that girl is trying to kill him.

Sean Connery even flirted with married women.

Beta?????????????:laugh:

 

And your GF was doing other men and you never got to have sex with her. And you call me beta???:eek:

Of course, I was a beta. That's what I'm saying. How can you have a Sean Connery avatar and be a beta like I was?

Any man whether Alfa or Beta should avoid deceitful dishonest women.

 

Every once in a while a crazoid BF shoots the lover of his GF. It happens!

People die more from car accidents than jealous boyfriends. Does that mean you don't ride in cars? Same thing goes for drowning. Do you not swim because every once and a while a person drowns?

 

Like I said, a woman could cheat on you regardless of how you treat her. You could play the good guy and wait until she dumps her bf before you make a move. But that does not in any way guarantee she'll be less likely to cheat on you.

 

You guys need to put things into perspective. It's all about emotions. If a woman emotionally desires another man, that means her current man is dead to her. So she's already broken up with him.

[somedude81]

Do not pay attention to woman that want to cheat. Why do you want to do this? There are plenty of free un-attached women.

Are there?

 

It sounds more like this.

a girl will always have some guy she is KIND OF SEEING anyway so there is really no difference.

 

Especially if they are attractive

The only 100% single girl you are going to find, is somebody who wants to stay single. And odds are, some dude isn't going to be able to change her mind.

[joystickd]

If they are not married I say go ahead and get it. I say that because in those situations the women are the pursuers and seek out these situation.

[casanovadude81]

BF/GF is a relationship. The fact that there is no marriage certificate is moot.

 

If this female wants you she can always break up with her BF.

 

You should never get involved with women that are seeing other men.

 

But, I go further: Lets assume she is casually dating a few men and shows interest in you. You should also be hesitant to be added to her stable of men.

 

Take care of yourself.

 

So you see no difference between any one labeled as having a bf or having spouse. You consider once the label bf is there whether it refers to a guy a girl has been dating on and of for a few weeks or a spouse with children it is moot? I don't understand or agree what I assume you're saying.

 

You say "if this female wants you she can always break up with her BF" and I agree with that. The point you're missing is she won't want you unless you talk to her. Further she probably won't want you or break up with her boyfriend unless you show interest in dating her. If you have a policy of not dating girls who have boyfriends then why would you be asking out a girl who had a boyfriend and then how would she ever get interest in you and dump her boyfriend?

 

I think you really outline your point when you say you would be "hesitant" what ever that means to date a girl who was casually dating. As if she has to be sitting on a park bench completely single for some specified time in order for you to actually be interested. I feel very differently about things and would greatly limit myself for no real reason if I followed your thinking.

 

Your reasoning all seems to be in protecting yourself. Maybe I'm not as fragile as you. I also don't believe for a second that a girl you meet at church in a singles group is any more or less likely to cheat then a girl you met who happened to want to leave her relationship and the only reason you found out is because you tested the waters so to speak.

 

How they come is how they go. Remember that.

 

Sounds like you're itching for a world of pain. See you soon on the breakup forums

 

How they come is how they go can be proven wrong on every step. By that same logic don't date a girl who was dumped because depending on your interpretation of "how they come is how they go" she will either go back to the guy who dumped her... or o something that makes you want to dump her...

 

How they come is how they go pretty much invalidates all romantic stories from "The Notebook" to comedies like "there's something about marry."

 

I just feel like people have become very simple on a very complex social dynamic.

 

Any man whether Alfa or Beta should avoid deceitful dishonest women.

 

Every once in a while a crazoid BF shoots the lover of his GF. It happens!

 

I don't believe people are Alpha's or Betas. Having a gf/wife only adds the value you bring to it.

 

It would be deceitful or dishonest for me to live my life being afraid of getting shot and not going for the women I want to go for. It's silly for me to take the burden of maintaining some one else’s relationship.

[casanovadude81]

Are there?

 

It sounds more like this.

 

The only 100% single girl you are going to find, is somebody who wants to stay single. And odds are, some dude isn't going to be able to change her mind.

 

I agree

 

The search for the so called 100% single woman is fruitless. People like that would like to think of dating as a game of musical chairs.

[Oxy Moronovich]

How they come is how they go. Remember that.

 

Sounds like you're itching for a world of pain. See you soon on the breakup forums

There are many guys on the breakup forums who got a free woman only for her to cheat on them. What do you say to that?

Your reasoning all seems to be in protecting yourself. Maybe I'm not as fragile as you. I also don't believe for a second that a girl you meet at church in a singles group is any more or less likely to cheat then a girl you met who happened to want to leave her relationship and the only reason you found out is because you tested the waters so to speak.

When I was as naive as some of these guys in this thread I acted like they do. I'd meet a girl who'd show genuine interest in me. But when I found out she had a gf I'd back off. There were many times where I backed off and I strongly felt I had a chance of scoring with these women. Looking back on it, I feel like an idiot. Playing the nice guy didn't get me anywhere. So many cuties I let go simply because "she has a boyfriend". Screw him. I don't owe that guy anything. Why should he have her simply because he met her first?

[Oxy Moronovich]

I'm loving this parade of rationalisations you guys are coming up with to justify what you know is cowardly craven behaviour. Keep at it!

If you talk to womanizers, they'll say the same thing me and casanovadude are. If you talk to guys who are average at best with getting women, they'll talk like you, Pierre, and all the other lame dudes in this thread.

[Pierre]

People die more from car accidents than jealous boyfriends. Does that mean you don't ride in cars? Same thing goes for drowning. Do you not swim because every once and a while a person drowns?

 

I see your point, but I don't have a choice about transportation. I need my car to get to work. However, I do have a choice when it comes to honest and dishonest women.

 

 

You guys need to put things into perspective. It's all about emotions. If a woman emotionally desires another man, that means her current man is dead to her. So she's already broken up with him.

 

No, it is not about emotions. I am assuming you are homo sapiens and not a dog or a cat in heat. As men and women we cannot run our lives based on emotions. We need to use our brain to make logical decisions. If we don't do that then we are no different than the dog or cat in heat.

 

Women cheat because they are cheaters. The man that is with her has nothing to do with her proclivity to cheat.

[casanovadude81]

I'm loving this parade of rationalisations you guys are coming up with to justify what you know is cowardly craven behaviour. Keep at it!

 

I think its cowardly to live your life afraid of being beat up or shot by a girls boyfriend because you wanted to date her. I think its cowardly to be so afraid of being hurt that you only go after women some how deemed 100% single when they might very well be more emotionaly invested in some one else when compared to a girl with a guy she labels bf.

 

You try to simplify the world to fit your views but its more complicated than that.

 

There are many guys on the breakup forums who got a free woman only for her to cheat on them. What do you say to that?

 

When I was as naive as some of these guys in this thread I acted like they do. I'd meet a girl who'd show genuine interest in me. But when I found out she had a gf I'd back off. There were many times where I backed off and I strongly felt I had a chance of scoring with these women. Looking back on it, I feel like an idiot. Playing the nice guy didn't get me anywhere. So many cuties I let go simply because "she has a boyfriend". Screw him. I don't owe that guy anything. Why should he have her simply because he met her first?

 

I would agree and go further to say most of the guys on the break up forums probably got one of these suposed free women. I also doubt I'll take things as hard if I got dumped as many of these guys argueing with me. They've painted pictures of their lives and they can't handle the idea of being dumped.

 

I was once naive myself and I really do regret it. One of the most beautiful girls I knew when I was back in college was dating some one when I met her. She gave me all the signals of interest but I had it in my head she would just be single and then I would ask her out.

 

Well months went by and eventualy some other guy asked her out. They dated for years and eventualy got married.

 

I'm not saying we would have got married if I had asked her out... but boy would I have some good memories! She was beautiful and fun to be around. I'm glad I got over my hang up now or I would have really missed out in my life.

[wilsonx]

 

How they come is how they go can be proven wrong on every step. By that same logic don't date a girl who was dumped because depending on your interpretation of "how they come is how they go" she will either go back to the guy who dumped her... or o something that makes you want to dump her...

 

How they come is how they go pretty much invalidates all romantic stories from "The Notebook" to comedies like "there's something about marry."

 

I just feel like people have become very simple on a very complex social dynamic.

 

Women are emotional, they dont use logic. You can't prove it wrong. For people like you, the grass isnt going to be greener for them. A women may like the romance you brought to the table, but you aren't her measuring stick. It wont last. She will never trust you long term because you are in essence a girlfriend stealer. There is no emotional security for her. She will wake up when the emotions stop running and will destroy you. Don't believe me, I will show you 10 posts in the breakup forum where they always go back or try to go back to their ex's. Go ahead, do it. Start dating a woman and watch the transference of feelings so much that you fall in love with her and get destroyed.

 

Most non retards know theres a reason you dont date another man's girlfriend, some people have to learn the hard way

 

This is emotional maturity. It has nothing to do with logic.

[Oxy Moronovich]

Don't you at least owe yourself some shred of dignity or honour? Or is the pursuit of copulation the only thing you have going for you in your life?

 

I'm seriously keen to know what could bring somebody to this level of gutter behaviour and disregard for others.

Here are my personal reasons: at 17, I fell in love with a chick my age. I was a virgin and I thought she was. We were both kids who went to the same church, so we agreed to wait until marriage for sex. At 19, she I found out she had been cheating on me with other guys. She got pregnant and blamed me as the father. Since our fathers were both pastors in the church (mine was the head while he father was the assistant), this was a huge church scandal.

 

Obviously, we broke up. During my coping period I met several women who were interested but I declined because I was coping. When I was finally ready to meet women, I was lame with women. I had zero confidence. When I was turning 21, I said, "I don't wanna be a virgin at 21." So I tried harder to get a chick. I finally met a chick and, guess what, she had a bf. I was hesitant at first, thinking, "If I screw her, the karma might come back to bite me in the butt and later on I'll get cheated on." But then I thought, "Wait a minute. I already had a woman cheat on me and I have never done anything to deserve that. How is that karma when I hadn't done anything wrong?" And so I lost my virginity 9 days before my 21st birthday.

 

I got into a relationship, but she and I later broke up. I still sucked with women though. Until a few years ago, a guy who was great with women gave me advice on dating. He said, "Most guys suck with women because they don't know how to talk to women. They only flirt with a small number of women per month. I make it a point to flirt with at least 20 women a week. That's how I learned to talk to women."

 

So I do that. I flirt with least 20 a week. I talk with a lot more but only flirt with 20 non-married women. Talking to women, I realize a large number have boyfriends. Some are happy. Some are not happy in their relationships and wanna leave.

 

So something might happen where I get 4 phone numbers: two have no boyfriends; two have bfs but seem interested in me. What the hell am I supposed to do when the ones who seem most interested in me have bfs?

 

Most guys who think like you, quickjoe, don't talk to many women. As a result, you don't know how women act. When you talk to at least 20 women a day, a CRAPLOAD of them are bound to have boyfriends. And you reduce your chances of getting laid by weeding out the ones who have bfs.

[joystickd]

Don't you at least owe yourself some shred of dignity or honour? Or is the pursuit of copulation the only thing you have going for you in your life?

 

I'm seriously keen to know what could bring somebody to this level of gutter behaviour and disregard for others.

 

Why is it gutter behavior? The woman is not married only has a boyfriend.

[Oxy Moronovich]

I see your point, but I don't have a choice about transportation. I need my car to get to work. However, I do have a choice when it comes to honest and dishonest women.

No, you do not need a car to get to work. You think you do. You can ride the bus. Or bike. I know a guy in Indianapolis who bikes to work every day. And his job is 30 minutes away by car.

 

But then again, I do not think quibbling with you about this is bright. So I'll stop about it. However, I will say you do not always know when you're dealing with an honest or dishonest woman. You can get your woman "honestly" by waiting until she doesn't have a boyfriend. But in no way will that guarantee she won't cheat on you. You never truly know if a woman is honest or dishonest. Your viewpoint of women is too black and white for you to understand them.

 

 

 

No, it is not about emotions. I am assuming you are homo sapiens and not a dog or a cat in heat. As men and women we cannot run our lives based on emotions. We need to use our brain to make logical decisions. If we don't do that then we are no different than the dog or cat in heat.

 

Women cheat because they are cheaters. The man that is with her has nothing to do with her proclivity to cheat.

I disagree. Emotions are the main reason why people get into relationships. In some cases, emotions are the only reason people get into relationships. If logic guided our decisions more in dating, people wouldn't have problems in dating to begin with.

[Oxy Moronovich]

Why is it gutter behavior? The woman is not married only has a boyfriend.

Yeah, I don't get why they can't see this. I used to agree with them when I was a teen. But as a grown man I've grown out of this naive thinking. If being a bf was the equivalent to being a spouse, then there would be no need to get married.

[somedude81]

I realize a large number have boyfriends. Some are happy. Some are not happy in their relationships and wanna leave.

That is also something I'm starting to realize.

 

Some women would rather be unhappy in a relationship than be alone. They are just waiting to meet somebody who can rescue them.

[Woggle]

Why not date single women? That is a concept.

[casanovadude81]

Women are emotional, they dont use logic. You can't prove it wrong. For people like you, the grass isnt going to be greener for them. A women may like the romance you brought to the table, but you aren't her measuring stick. It wont last. She will never trust you long term because you are in essence a girlfriend stealer. There is no emotional security for her. She will wake up when the emotions stop running and will destroy you. Don't believe me, I will show you 10 posts in the breakup forum where they always go back or try to go back to their ex's. Go ahead, do it. Start dating a woman and watch the transference of feelings so much that you fall in love with her and get destroyed.

 

I live my life based on experience not internet posts. That is logic.

 

Most non retards know theres a reason you dont date another man's girlfriend, some people have to learn the hard way

 

This is emotional maturity. It has nothing to do with logic.

 

Dating isn't rocket science. I think you're imagining scenarios I havn't described.

 

I do not base my actions on fear of consequences as if what I think I can get away with is my only guiding light. I am somewhat more evolved than that. Personal integrity means something to me because I am aware of the fact that we are a social species and how we treat others actually matters.

 

Integrity means matching what you say and do while avoiding hypocrisy. It's far more honest for me to feel and show attraction for a girl who has a boyfriend then your ego driven hunt for the 100% single girl. This is mainly based on your own semantics not reality.

 

I believe the relationship is to be protected by the people who want it. I don't understand placing that responsibility on those outside the relationship.

 

 

Missed out on what exactly? Unlike you, I do not wish to be presumptuous, though I have a fair idea where this is going to end up.

 

You're missing out on your own life because of some dating dogma you've chosen to believe in.

 

So I do that. I flirt with least 20 a week. I talk with a lot more but only flirt with 20 non-married women. Talking to women, I realize a large number have boyfriends. Some are happy. Some are not happy in their relationships and wanna leave.

 

This pretty much makes my point. I'm not specifically about going after girls who are involved in some way with other guys. It's just not something I worry about. Let them worry about it. When you're single and dating you shouldn't rule out girls who have boyfriends or you are possibly cutting your potential dating pool in more than half. When I say potential dating pool I'm not including all girls with boyfriends, I'm including all the girls with boyfriends who would still happily date you.

[Oxy Moronovich]

Women are emotional, they dont use logic. You can't prove it wrong. For people like you, the grass isnt going to be greener for them. A women may like the romance you brought to the table, but you aren't her measuring stick. It wont last. She will never trust you long term because you are in essence a girlfriend stealer. There is no emotional security for her. She will wake up when the emotions stop running and will destroy you. Don't believe me, I will show you 10 posts in the breakup forum where they always go back or try to go back to their ex's. Go ahead, do it. Start dating a woman and watch the transference of feelings so much that you fall in love with her and get destroyed.

 

Most non retards know theres a reason you dont date another man's girlfriend, some people have to learn the hard way

 

This is emotional maturity. It has nothing to do with logic.

Folks, there is a reason why this dude hangs around in the breakup forum. I think it because he himself sucks with women. Serious question: if you were good with women, why would you hang around at the breakup forum? The vast majority of this guy's posts are in the breakup forum. So I find it unlikely he's good with women.

[wilsonx]

I help people going through rough time by coaching them in the right direction. I volunteer my time to help others out and I suck with women, I like what you did there.

 

Have you ever seen me post in the dating forum or ask questions on whats morally and emotionally right. No because I know how to date. I just laughed at this stupid post and threw my 2 cents in

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/320562-no-contact-best-option-im-hoping-second-chance

 

This is what happens when you date someone with a girlfriend, you should read it.

[casanovadude81]

That is also something I'm starting to realize.

 

Some women would rather be unhappy in a relationship than be alone. They are just waiting to meet somebody who can rescue them.

 

It's like some girls tell you they have a boyfriend just to hear you say "It's ok I still want you!"

 

Why not date single women? That is a concept.

 

I do date single women. Though why wouldn't I date girls with bf's when you know very well how easily it can be done if thats what the girl wants?

 

If you are to be believed, you most likely drift from one meaningless relationship or one-night-stand to the next, and it is clear that you have not found contentment and nor will you until you depart from this cycle.

 

You have yet to become an adult.

 

He seems more adult than you atleast on this issue with your black and white thinking based on dogma handed to you to holy to ever question.

 

In the spirit of reciprocation, I shall share my situation, though I will be mercifully brief. I am happily married for years, so I (a) know how women act, and (b) am not the least bit worried about reducing my chances of getting laid.

 

Being happily married for years hardly makes you an expert on anything but congratulations to you. I hope you realize its up to you and your wife to protect the mariage not outsiders.

 

Just realize that girls don't generaly ask guys out, but they are not above flirting just as hard or harder with a taken man as they do with single men.

 

Now as a man we are expected to push the boundaries. If there are no boundaries to be pushed nothing will hapen. When you get lucky though you can really get lucky.

[Oxy Moronovich]

Oxy Moronovich: It's difficult to know exactly where to start, but I'll give it a try.

 

So if I have this right, you had a bad experience and as a result decided to lower yourself to the level of those who hurt you, and thus go about your life blithely inflicting this same misery on others without a care just so long as you get your rocks off every now and again. You do to others what was done to you, and don't seem to be overly self aware, else you would realise that you have become what you hate. You evidently think that having sex is the pinnacle of achievement in life.

I don't see it as "lowering" myself. I see it as being realistic. When I used to think like you, this is what my weekend nights were mostly like: living with my parents, spending hours in my stained tighty-whiteys watching other guys have sex with women, dreaming of the day when I'd get laid on a regular basis. My new line of thinking: I have a gf who I meet during our lunchbreak who I eat and have sex with in addition to the sex during other times of the week. Therefore, yeah, I think I've achieved more with my new way of thinking than your way of thinking.

 

Besides, you're a married dude. Most of my married friends moan that their sex life was better than they were single. Many married guys like you have become complacent enough to pretend sex isn't important.

If you are to be believed, you most likely drift from one meaningless relationship or one-night-stand to the next, and it is clear that you have not found contentment and nor will you until you depart from this cycle.

I am hoping to be single for the rest of my life. Meaningless relationships and one-night-stands are way more meaningful to me than relationships with little to no sex. All my favorite heroes were womanizers: James Bond, Bruce (Batman) Wayne, Shaft, Hugh Hefner, etc. My heroes were not Ward Cleaver or Chandler Bing.

You have yet to become an adult.

Technically, I was an adult at 18. I really became an adult 9 days before my 21st b-day.

In the spirit of reciprocation, I shall share my situation, though I will be mercifully brief. I am happily married for years, so I (a) know how women act, and (b) am not the least bit worried about reducing my chances of getting laid.

Disagree. Many, many (most) married guys do NOT know about how women act. I can't tell you how many married guys I know who were clueless about women. One married guy I met didn't know women are attracted to men based on their sweat. He said, "Women are attracted to a man's sweat? I've been married for 24 yrs and didn't know that. But I guess it now makes sense why they make cologne based on the body odor of NBA players."

 

The vast majority of marriages of initiated by women. If married guys knew about women, they'd be able to tell if their women is going to initiate divorce, instead of being caught off guard about it.

 

You're happily married for years? Does your wife feel she's happily married?