Dating Girls Who Have a Boyfriend

[Oxy Moronovich]

I think what you are missing is that, while it is not equivalent to marriage, neither is it something to be disregarded as nothing. It is your binary thinking that is afflicted with naivety and a lack of perspective. You delude yourself by claiming to be a man. Men (re: adults) take responsibility and don't act like hormonally charged teenagers who spend most of their time thinking about their next opportunity to ejaculate.

 

Some guys do not get laid once a month. Some guys don't get laid once a year. I've been in both categories and hated it. I wish to get laid once a week at least. How does that make me a hormonally charged teenager?

I help people going through rough time by coaching them in the right direction. I volunteer my time to help others out and I suck with women, I like what you did there.

 

Have you ever seen me post in the dating forum or ask questions on whats morally and emotionally right. No because I know how to date. I just laughed at this stupid post and threw my 2 cents in

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/second-chances/320562-no-contact-best-option-im-hoping-second-chance

 

This is what happens when you date someone with a girlfriend, you should read it.

 

Dude, you've made posts where you talked about how your gf manipulated you so bad you cried about it. Obviously, the women you meet aren't any better than the women I meet. Plus, you obviously aren't good with women at all. So how can you look down on others who try to improve their skills with chicks?

[Pierre]

No, you do not need a car to get to work. You think you do. You can ride the bus. Or bike. I know a guy in Indianapolis who bikes to work every day. And his job is 30 minutes away by car.

 

I would gladly use public transportation, but there is non, I must drive.

 

You can get your woman "honestly" by waiting until she doesn't have a boyfriend. But in no way will that guarantee she won't cheat on you. You never truly know if a woman is honest or dishonest.

That is correct. There is no insurance against deceit or cheating. However, one can minimize the risk. If you date a known cheater then you are at high risk. Furthermore, you can guarantee your own honesty. You can start by being honest with yourself.

 

 

 

If logic guided our decisions more in dating, people wouldn't have problems in dating to begin with.

Thank you for making my point!!!:D

[Oxy Moronovich]

That is correct. There is no insurance against deceit or cheating. However, one can minimize the risk. If you date a known cheater then you are at high risk. Furthermore, you can guarantee your own honesty. You can start by being honest with yourself.

I thought I was minimizing the risk by dating a girl in my church who happened to be a pastor's daughter. She grew up in a strict household and was said by all the church ladies to be a moral upright girl. She ended up cheating on me with several guys, getting pregnant, and then blaming me as the father.

 

How many people throughout the world have dated what they thought was an honest, upright person, only for said person to treat them like garbage? I'm sure those people number in the millions.

 

Your argument is that if you're honest with yourself and choose what you believe to be honest people, then you're likelihood of being deceived is reduced. I say that's false. Are you trying to tell me everyone who has been cheated on obviously knew they were choosing a dishonest person?

 

 

Thank you for making my point!!!:D

Are you trying to say if people acted logically more than emotionally then there would be fewer problems in the dating world? I agree. But I also think people will always act more emotionally than logically. Therefore, it's ridiculous to think people will be smart enough to listen to logical advice.

[Oxy Moronovich]

This quote stands alone as a testament to your immaturity.

So I'm immature because I want to get laid once a week? Wow. Remind me never to take dating advice from you.

[missyme04]

As long as you don't mind other guys trying to take your future GF from YOU.

 

So true. I Like

[Oxy Moronovich]

One thing I notice about you, quickjoe: you've been quite scornful and derisive with your comments like "immature", "gutter behavior", and "stunted manchild". While casanovadude and I haven't been nearly as bad toward you. You've been unable to use logic and reason like an adult. How old are you, grandpa?

[immitable]

Folks, there is a reason why this dude hangs around in the breakup forum. I think it because he himself sucks with women. Serious question: if you were good with women, why would you hang around at the breakup forum? The vast majority of this guy's posts are in the breakup forum. So I find it unlikely he's good with women.

 

 

That's a low-blow, did you just get cornered?

[Oxy Moronovich]

You're immature because of the way you go about it, coupled with the way you exhalt it over everything else. You fail to see that which is important and lasting.

 

That is why you are immature, and why you will never grow until you realise this.

Having a satisfying sex life is important. Looking back on all the attractive women I've banged is a much more lasting experience than looking back at all the woman I felt I could have banged.

 

Honest married guys have to constantly deflect women who potentially might wanna have sex with them, while they have little to no sex with their wives. If being married is the only way to grow up, then I'll gladly be immature my entire life.

[Oxy Moronovich]

That's a low-blow, did you just get cornered?

He implied that guys who think like casanova and I are "non-retards". So I struck him where it counted most.

[danny in van]

what's to argue about? If a girl is happy with a bf she won't flirt and/or cheat. We've all met this rare type- and when I do I def can spot it and say to myself 'she's in love- move on'. And then there is the rest: the majority, in my opinion, who are in ok, lukewarm relationships, who dream of a better one. Some on this post say 'why not just go for the single ones?' Well that's been answered - ie the most beautiful are rarely single. Anyway, as I said in my experience, if she's in love you don't have a chance. If she's not then u got a big chance to be the one to make her actually happy...Why girls gotta find a new vine to swing on b4 letting go of the old one is a whole diff topic - but doesn't affect the point. And I agree, so called virtuous 'good' single girls will cheat too, so what to do?

 

I think the objectors on this thread are the guys that are often the threatened cuckolded ones- and I'm sorry the genetic lottery is not fair- but there is alot you can do to be one of the desireable males, what with ball busting workouts and diet, wardrobe, paying attention to social graces etc. It's simple- but not ez!

[casanovadude81]

Thank you for making my point!!!:D

 

He was making his point that people arn't math problems no matter how much you wish it, but enjoy thinking he made yours.

 

I hope you recognise the absurdity of an emotionally stunted manchild trying to offer relationship advice to a mature adult in a long-term, stable and loving relationship.

 

I don't understand your hostility and child like tantrums over how I view dating. You're not exactly painting the picture of some one I'd like to be. You come off as rather petty.

 

You're immature because of the way you go about it, coupled with the way you exhalt it over everything else. You fail to see that which is important and lasting.

 

I would say the manner in which you've carried yourself in this discussion is that of a baby throwing a tantrum. You should take a good look at yourself in the mirror before you go judging others.

 

That's a low-blow, did you just get cornered?

 

Hardly low blow considerining the uncalled insults being hurled. You must have selective reading.

 

You and casanova have given me plenty of reason to be. You are both shamelessly hedonistic with no regard for how your actions affect others. This is unconscionable, anti-social behaviour. I am telling you these things because you need to hear them. You of course won't accept it for years, if at all, but somebody needs to point out the self-destructive path you've put yourselves on.

 

I think its anti-social to treat women as if they are the property of some man who may or may not exist as if they arn't capable of defining there own boundaries.

 

Considering you have children you'd be wise to grow up for their sake.

 

Ugh. When will people realise that having biceps and brand name clothing is unimportant when it comes to finding the person you want to spend the rest of your life with? Is seeing past superficiality really that hard?

 

I'm objecting because I actually have standards for behaviour, and value things like integrity and maturity.

 

I'm sure you mean having big biceps, because just having biceps is required for normal movement of your arms.

 

You show know integrity in your claim of maturity in the antagonising manor you carry a conversation on this topic.

 

There is nothing dishonest about showing interest or asking out girls you know to have boyfriends. Given a certain set facts it could be, but that means you're reading into things.

 

I mean in your world view first in time makes right. Just because another guy got their first you should back off and never show any interest. You say this even knowing the world doesn't work this way. Knowing a pretty girl wil have men flirting and trying to date a pretty girl regaurdless of if she has a boyfriend. You don't even have an argument so you throw a tantrum and hurl personal insults.

[danny in van]

sorry but that doesn't follow- you object to others' behaviour because of your self proclaimed attributes? What do your actions have to do with these guys who wanna cherry pick the girls?

It doesn't logically make sense. What does make sense is that one would object if threatened in some way. No threat= no objection.

[Oxy Moronovich]

You and casanova have given me plenty of reason to be. You are both shamelessly hedonistic with no regard for how your actions affect others. This is unconscionable, anti-social behaviour. I am telling you these things because you need to hear them. You of course won't accept it for years, if at all, but somebody needs to point out the self-destructive path you've put yourselves on.

No, I don't care about how my actions affect some other dude. Like I said, a significant number of the women I meet have boyfriends and are looking for someone new. When you meet so many of these types of women on a regular basis, you begin to question whether refusing to date them is the right thing. You also begin to understand how women operate more.

Where on earth do you get these ridiculous views of married life? Obviously not your own experiences, so the remaining possibility is that you are simply making things up in order to reinforce your delusions.

Here's a hint: I got these views from married and divorced people.

 

I think its anti-social to treat women as if they are the property of some man who may or may not exist as if they arn't capable of defining there own boundaries.

That's the thing these dudes can't get. A woman with a bf is in no way in the same situation as a married woman. Only if she's happy in her relationship should you back off. If she's got a bf but flirting with you then she's obviously not happy. It's just that simple.

[leoc1973]

I had a girlfriend and we were at a party. Some guy kept saying(jokingly) wow I am in love with your girlfriend I am going to steal her away and take her around the world(right in front of both of us) Anyways I threatened to smash his face so he kinda backed off. A month later she left me and guess who she was seeing. Yep that douche bag!

 

Anyways 10 months later he took her all round the world. She broke him financially. He proposed told her she was so amazing perfect love of his life ect.

 

Last month she told me she made the biggest mistake of her life and wanted me back. I didn't want her back but I told her I did and if she were to dump her boyfriend I would love to have her back.

 

She dumped him and I slept with her a few times then I kicked her ass to the curb and sent him an email telling him very detailed information of the things I just did to the love of his life!

 

This was about a month ago now and he has lost a lot of weight begged cried and all that stuff. They are still apart he is still begging her and I feel very very satisfied!

 

My take on it. Guys who go after girls with boyfriends are very insecure and can't take rejection from single girls so they go after girls with boyfriends because at least they can feel that the only reason they couldn't get the girl is because they had a boyfriend.

 

OP I would love to see you on here in a few months or a year crying about how the most amazing girl that you treated so well went back to her ex! Grow a pair and ask a single girl out the worst she can say is no. You will recover from it!

[Oxy Moronovich]

I had a girlfriend and we were at a party. Some guy kept saying(jokingly) wow I am in love with your girlfriend I am going to steal her away and take her around the world(right in front of both of us) Anyways I threatened to smash his face so he kinda backed off. A month later she left me and guess who she was seeing. Yep that douche bag!

 

Anyways 10 months later he took her all round the world. She broke him financially. He proposed told her she was so amazing perfect love of his life ect.

 

Last month she told me she made the biggest mistake of her life and wanted me back. I didn't want her back but I told her I did and if she were to dump her boyfriend I would love to have her back.

 

She dumped him and I slept with her a few times then I kicked her ass to the curb and sent him an email telling him very detailed information of the things I just did to the love of his life!

 

This was about a month ago now and he has lost a lot of weight begged cried and all that stuff. They are still apart he is still begging her and I feel very very satisfied!

 

My take on it. Guys who go after girls with boyfriends are very insecure and can't take rejection from single girls so they go after girls with boyfriends because at least they can feel that the only reason they couldn't get the girl is because they had a boyfriend.

 

OP I would love to see you on here in a few months or a year crying about how the most amazing girl that you treated so well went back to her ex! Grow a pair and ask a single girl out the worst she can say is no. You will recover from it!

 

Why would he take her around the world? He could have easily waited until she was not dating anyone and she still could have taken him for a ride financially. That's a fact. In one of your threads, you stated you tried desperately to get a woman for 7 months but got nowhere. Only later on did you meet 4 women who knew you and they showed interest. You said they "tried to court" you. What the hell does that mean? Just because they befriended you on facebook doesn't mean they are seriously interested in you.

 

I've read your posts. You come off as being terrible with women. I'm sorry. I cannot take your advice seriously.

[casanovadude81]

I had a girlfriend and we were at a party. Some guy kept saying(jokingly) wow I am in love with your girlfriend I am going to steal her away and take her around the world(right in front of both of us) Anyways I threatened to smash his face so he kinda backed off. A month later she left me and guess who she was seeing. Yep that douche bag!

 

When you have a gf that enjoys attention of other men to the point where you have to threaten to smash their face you may want to see the reality of the situation. She didn't like you anymore... well atleast like you enough not to enjoy romantic attention from other men.

 

Also don't get in a guys face and threaten to smash it. You give the right to smash yours first and claim self defense considering you just asaulted him by threating him.

 

Anyways 10 months later he took her all round the world. She broke him financially. He proposed told her she was so amazing perfect love of his life ect.

 

Last month she told me she made the biggest mistake of her life and wanted me back. I didn't want her back but I told her I did and if she were to dump her boyfriend I would love to have her back.

 

She dumped him and I slept with her a few times then I kicked her ass to the curb and sent him an email telling him very detailed information of the things I just did to the love of his life!

 

And this makes you better then me how? You sound like a very petty person who gets the most joy out of petty things.

 

This was about a month ago now and he has lost a lot of weight begged cried and all that stuff. They are still apart he is still begging her and I feel very very satisfied!

 

This guy sounds like a loser, just like you. You'd both be losers the way you are now whether you met eachother or not. Try not to take all the credit.

 

My take on it. Guys who go after girls with boyfriends are very insecure and can't take rejection from single girls so they go after girls with boyfriends because at least they can feel that the only reason they couldn't get the girl is because they had a boyfriend.

 

My take on it is you are violent, dishonest person who derives satist pleasures from bragging about something that would embaress most people. Good for you.

 

OP I would love to see you on here in a few months or a year crying about how the most amazing girl that you treated so well went back to her ex! Grow a pair and ask a single girl out the worst she can say is no. You will recover from it!

 

You can date a suposedly single girl and still have her "ex" mad at you and trying to get his gf back and maybe suceed... I wouldn't cry about it though. I don't think you've recovered from your bruised ego, good luck with that.

[leoc1973]

First of all he was being very openly disrespectful to try to make an ass out of me.

 

Secondly there was nothing petty about it I got my revenge. Call it Karma if you want either way its a guy getting what he deserves.

 

I have no problem with a girl leaving me because she doesn't want to be with me sure I will be heartbroken just like any other guy but some guy that don't have the balls to ask out a single girl because if she says no she simply just doesn't like him he got what he deserves.

 

In my old thread by courting me I meant openly telling me they are unhappy with their husbands and telling me that they would love to have sex with me. Sorry if I didn't come right out and say it.

 

I love how I got so under your skin by showing you how insecure and shallow you are that you went and read my old threads to try to find some kind of flaws in my story.

 

I can get women all day long. Because I am a good guy that doesn't need to go after other guys women while they might be simply at a low point in an other wise good relationship. There are plenty of single beautiful smart funny women out there if you get the balls to ask them out they just might say yes.

 

And finally I am sorry if I hurt someone's feelings. I should have been smart enough to realize that there are people who look in the mirror and hate themselves so much that they can't handle real rejection on this site. I apologize.

[Pierre]

No, I don't care about how my actions affect some other dude. Like I said, a significant number of the women I meet have boyfriends and are looking for someone new. When you meet so many of these types of women on a regular basis, you begin to question whether refusing to date them is the right thing. You also begin to understand how women operate more.

 

 

 

It sounds like you travel in a social circle where there is no loyalty to friends, GF/BF, or anyone else.

 

It seems like a ME, ME, ME system. I would suggest yu change your social circle. It is time to move up to another level.

[OldSkool]

Here we go again...

 

Douchbag thinks that his way is right and goes onto an internet forum "asking if it is ok" then proceeding to talk down to and insult anyone who disagrees with him.

 

Douchebag #2 thinks that this is a good example to follow and piles on.

 

Both Douchbags live in an immature fantasy world where actions have no consequences.

 

Hey guys, come out to the deserts of CA. I have a 4X4 and an intimate knowledge of the lost wells out here. No body, no crime.

 

"An armed society is a polite society. Manners are good when one may have to back up his acts with his life" Robert A. Heinlein.

[Mr. Slim]

That's the thing these dudes can't get. A woman with a bf is in no way in the same situation as a married woman. Only if she's happy in her relationship should you back off. If she's got a bf but flirting with you then she's obviously not happy. It's just that simple.

 

I couldn't agree more. A boyfriend/girlfriend is just a mental construct. A woman can wake up in the morning and decide that you are not her boyfriend. No papers to sign, no forms to fill out. People would be shocked to learn how many relationships ended because someone wanted to, what was in their mind, UPGRADE. We have all probably been upgraded on before. There doesn't have to be a big scene where you catch them cheating. Likely nothing ever went on behind your back. They ended it with you, so they could get with someone else.

 

The lesson is, we all have to handle competition. For me, if a woman is not married, she is single. I am always respectful. If she tells me to get lost, that's what I do and I don't bother her again. The reason why she wants me to get lost (boyfriend, finds me unattractive, etc.) has no bearing.

[RedRobin]

Here is what it looks like to me...

 

I'm dating someone who I may or may not be happy with at the moment.

 

Guy hits on me. I tell him I have a BF. If he continues to hit on me (regardless of how physically attractive he may have appeared from the outset) he goes down in my mental notebook as someone I would not want to date should I end up without a BF.

 

If he says, politely, 'lucky guy' or something along those lines and backs up, he goes down in my mental notebook as a classy guy who I would attempt to seek out should I become single.

 

Me personally... I don't base my decision on whether to stay with a man on whether I have other options floating around. Not only does this provide the best possible situation for the next man I would date (I'm 100% free and clear), it also preserves the best of whatever I had with the former BF and we can part ways respectfully.

 

I'd expect the right man for me would be capable of doing the same. Not all of us treat others so cavalierly... Unlike a job, most of us will get along just fine without a BF/GF in tow for awhile. No need to BBD anyone.

[RedRobin]

As I'm apparently the lone woman on this thread, I'd like to congratulate the fine men here who are taking the time to explain respectful dating behavior to some of the other gentlemen here.

 

Not that it will necessarily get anywhere with the men you are trying to coach. I'm just happy to know you exist.

 

Carry on!

[Necris]

OP you disgust me, what kind of man takes another man's girlfriend? And Oxy weren't you deeply hurt because some guy or in your case guys had sex with your girlfriend behind your back? So why in the hell do you think you should go behind another guy's back and have sex with his girlfriend? Aren't you doing the same thing? I guess in the end your sliminess is doing them a favor if I had a girlfriend who would cheat on me that easily I'd rather not have her as a girlfriend her filthy sluttiness isn't welcome.

[Oxy Moronovich]

In my old thread by courting me I meant openly telling me they are unhappy with their husbands and telling me that they would love to have sex with me. Sorry if I didn't come right out and say it.

So these are married women you're talking about? That changes a lot. I don't wanna go as far as to say married women are easy. But sometimes an unhappy married woman becomes so desperate for attention she'll go up to any lame guy that shows her the slightest bit of attention.

 

I can get women all day long.

This quote is contradictory to your previous posts. You've made a thread detailing how you tried desperately to meet a woman, even going on several dating sites, and still no luck.

 

It sounds like you travel in a social circle where there is no loyalty to friends, GF/BF, or anyone else.

 

It seems like a ME, ME, ME system. I would suggest yu change your social circle. It is time to move up to another level.

The only social circle I ride in is the real world. This is obviously a place you've never been. You think the world is pretty black and white, don't you? You think acting like the nice guy will always be the ultimate reward, huh? So whenever a guy's woman cheats on him, divorces him, and blames him to be a father for a child that isn't his, that guy must have been some sort of jerk that is receiving some sort of dating karma? And nice guys never get shafted.

Edited April 4, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Unnecessary and personal

[Oxy Moronovich]

OP you disgust me, what kind of man takes another man's girlfriend? And Oxy weren't you deeply hurt because some guy or in your case guys had sex with your girlfriend behind your back? So why in the hell do you think you should go behind another guy's back and have sex with his girlfriend? Aren't you doing the same thing? I guess in the end your sliminess is doing them a favor if I had a girlfriend who would cheat on me that easily I'd rather not have her as a girlfriend her filthy sluttiness isn't welcome.

Yeah, I was hurt. But I got over it. Later on in life, I started meeting more and more women. A huge number of the chicks that were interested in me had boyfriends. I don't have sex with the gf of a guy I'm on good terms with. However, if I am not on good terms with him or I don't know, I'll go for it.

 

Serious question: why do you guys think it's wrong to have sex with the girl of a guy you don't know? If the dude got some sort of terminal illness, you wouldn't care. You don't care about whether he lives or dies. But you care about whether you have sex with his girlfriend or not. I don't understand this childish logic.