Should the word "slut" even be in a friend's vocabulary?

[red-rose-in-winter]

Would a true friend ever call another friend a slut?

I have two friends that have not been getting along too well lately.

One friend, I'll call her "Jane" keeps calling my other friend (I'll call her "Sara")

a slut ~ to her face. To me, slut is a VERY harsh word.

Jane not only called Sara a slut once, but she keeps calling her that over, and over, and over.....and at work too in front of everybody!!!

Personally, I think both of them should GROW UP (they are both in their 30's) and just talk it out. They work at the same place, and have to see each other practically every day, and that doesn't help matters.

They have tried to pull me into this by calling me up and telling me what the other one did/said. I told them to leave me out of it!!!

Sure, Jane doesn't agree with Sara's lifestyle, but she doesn't have to keep on and on and on about it. I fear that their friendship will be over soon if this isn't resolved. They have been friends for years, and it would be a shame for a friendship that has lasted so long to end.

Jane did confide in me that the only reason she keeps lecturing Sara and calling her a slut is to make her so mad that she sees what a mistake she's making by the choices she makes. But there are other ways to do that.....calling someone a slut is like a slap in the face!!! And by someone you considered a good friend too makes it worse!!!

I just had to get that off my chest. Anyone got any comments?

[HokeyReligions]

Its not Sara's place to tell Jane how to live. It would piss me off too if someone kept after me about my life style choices. Maybe someday Sara will wake up and stop trying to control others and realize that no one crowned her queen. Just keep telling them that you want no part of it and stay out of it. If they lose thier friendship, it is their problem. If they try to put you in the middle by threatening that if you are friends with one, you can't be with the other - let them go. Its petty and childish. When you are with one - do not talk about the other. ex: if you are with Jane and she keeps talking about Sara, just tell her that you don't want to discuss her. If she gets angry, tell Jane that she should appreciate that because you don't talk about her with Sara either.

 

Geez---sounds like Jr. High!

[CurlyIam]

What on does in bed and with whom is non of anybody else's concern! not even friends!

 

As long as this is not interfearing with work, with their friendship and with her everyday life, doing so is plain mean! Jane should mind her own business!!!

 

What about respect for Sara as a person? Saying that in public, in front of other people is the worst possible thing one can do to a woman. I mean it's bad enough we (women) have lots of prejudice ot fight against, especially if one desires a career, but actually do it to eachother, no, excuse me, to my friend is despicable.

 

 

This is not Jr. High, this is lack of tact and education!

[SilverAngelus]

hey,

 

I just wanted to say that you said you were going to stay out of it so you should do that. It may be a harsh word to you but maybe not to her. It might not even bother her. If they have been friend sfor years then this has probibly happened before and will happen agian it is the way life goes.

 

I have a friend who i fight with all the time but we have remained firends for the past 6 years.

 

I call my friends sluts/whore/ect all the time. Now its in a joking way (ie. she flirts w a guy and I say your such a lil whore, playing around) so we dont take offense to it. we dont even really take offense when its said in a mean way.

 

So maybe its just you. Granted thats not proper for a work place and maybe u can get her not to dco it there but you have to accept you cant conrtol what she says.

 

Angel

[red-rose-in-winter]

Thanks everyone for your replies!!!

 

Hi SilverAngelus:

Actually the friend that was called the slut called me on the phone in tears, and she was actually hurt that our other friend called her a slut. I was pretty shocked myself that she said that.

 

I asked her if our other friend called her a slut as a joke (in a joking tone) and she said no...it was snotty and hateful.

 

I don't work at the same place they do, so I don't know what actually does or doesn't go on. That's why I told them both to leave me out of it and solve it themselves. I told them I don't want to hear anymore about all this either.

 

For some reason, our friend who keeps calling her a slut is on some sort of "crusade" to make her see the light of her ways or whatnot. I told our friend to just let our other friend lead her life by the way she wants to. I mean, she's 30 years old ~ she's her own woman!!!