Rebound relationships? Share your stories?

[TerrapinDragonfly]

Hello. I have some questions and would like also to hear stories. I am in the process of ending a 5 year relationship (I am only 24). We are being friendly about it but are both incredibly heartbroken and sad. We have all the same friends, go all the same places, know all the same people... etc. We are currently taking some time apart and space with the hopes of gradually rebuilding our friendship that we had prior to dating or some sort of friend connection.

 

So I am NOT READY to go here yet BUT... (I'm not cold hearted but just broken hearted- and I am being bombarded with this subject matter so much so that it's starting to turn my thoughts here a little bit)

 

Suddenly men are coming out of the woodwork left and right asking me to lunch, touching base, making sure i am ok, etc. I updated my status on fb to single and one clicked, "like" (LOL!!! Who does that?! I made him remove it haha)

 

Anyway I obviously don't want to have sex right now nor do I want to hurt my ex's feelings if word gets around. I want to be respectful. I also have no idea if that is acceptable behavior or not to have rebounds or is it helpful because my heart right now is broken and in agony. I am really wanting to make myself feel better and if this barrage keeps happening and I go out and get drunk or something... or I feel like I am so lonely I could die.. or whatever... is this an avenue I should look into?

 

Some of them I would obviously not be interested in because they have been apparently waiting on me to become single and that is too much of an emotional investment... but others are just surprised and elated, others might just be user- dicks I don't know- I haven't paid any attention to any of them nor them to me until this being single thing happened. It's way too soon right now but I don't know how soon is too soon, if I never should go this route, etc.

 

It's at least something to ponder and get my mind off other things, like all the wonderful times me and my ex have had together... talk about a way to make yourself cry all damn day!

 

What are some of your stories about this you would like to share?

 

 

 

P.S. I live in a small town and am from the neighboring big city and so is he so we share ALL the same friends near and far.... he is a well known musician he knows EVERYBODY and everybody knows him even if he doesn't know who they are

[c0nfused88]

Reading your story sounds almost exactly like mine-- it's almost creepy. I am also a 24 year old female and ended a 5 year relationship about 2 months ago.

 

It is extremely complicated because I still get along with my ex and he is part of my friend's circle. Most of these friends are primarily mine but they all like him and still want him around. He still goes out sometimes and it is fine for the most part.

 

I was heartbroken the first few weeks but after that it wasn't too awkward because I wasn't ready to think about other men. It was really nice to have him in my life as a friend and to slowly get used to being single/alone. However, now that he has found his way back into the group/stayed around things are more complicated. When new people come it's hard to introduce him. I can't bring in men to the group that I start dating because I'm sure it'd hurt him-- and he can't do the same.

 

I don't know if I'm helping-- probably adding more confusion for you. It really depends on what your intentions are. I am where you are I think. I have some hope to get back together with him but after that long I need some space. I would like to date others and see if anything happens, but it is walking on ice considering the situation.

 

Just wanted to let you know that I relate to you and others are going through nearly exactly what you are!

[TerrapinDragonfly]

Thanks for sharing your story, it is cool we both are in such similar situations and are communicating. I don't want to seriously date either and I want to be single for a long time. I would HATE being re-attached too soon.

 

But I am more like... I have been with the same guy for 5 years and now all of these gorgeous and kind men are trying to talk to me... people who are his friends too but they see the situation differently (as in.. yay this awesome chick is no longer dating my friend and she is my friend but I gotta try this one out because she treated my friend so great all these years) or something along those lines (or hell yeah this chick is hot AND not crazy... i'm in!)

 

But anyhow for me it's like I want to know if it might help soothe my aching heart to have a few casual flings here and there... or would it just make me look like a cold hearted bitch? It's not something I am ready for at the moment but it is very distracting to be getting all of this attention and I kind of like being distracted because it makes the pain less, even if just for a moment.