He was obsessed with sex.

[Finallyfoundlove]

I am needing to vent about a past relationship. We met online through MySpace. I contacted him and was the pursuer. Naturally he want to meet. We had a ton of fun and things took off. I wasn't attracted to him at fist but that came after weeks of laughter and good times. Two months into dating me ( Around the same time we became physical) his ex girlfriend of 7 years starts harassing me. I bowed down and told him to handle it. He sent her some emails and claimed that it was handled. First red flag. Later I found out he told her him and I were friends and that I was a lesbian, and for her to relax and not worry he still loved her, meanwhile that next day he told me he loved me. Three months into dating him my house went into foreclosure. I was planning on moving in with my family and he insisted we should live together. I was so in love with this man and thought since we had spent everyday together for three months and got along beautifully it would certainly work. I moved in and things were going fantastic. My company I was running was making a nice profit (shortly after the foreclosure- money was just a month too late) and I wake up to work and as I am leaving his ex girlfriend is in the driveway calling me names. I explain calmly to her that I was sorry that her relationship didn't work. She preceded to tell me my ex had been texting her this whole four months and she decided to come back to him. Long story short he asked her to leave property and that she wasn't welcome back...never had anymore issues again with her..she and I ended up communicating together and she told me all kinds of things and sent me proof of his contact. Should have left him then but I loved him to death. Five months into dating he leaves his laptop open and I had thought I was logged in to my myspace account and went to check my email. Good god, what I found was just a huge red flag. Why I didn't leave I will never know. He was talking dirty to other women when i was asleep and asking them out when I was working. I felt so numb when I saw the interactions. I decided I couldn't read anymore and "x"Ed out...well lucky me the page open behind it was his yahoo email...what I found there was that he was part of all these nasty sex sites under the name of Stloomo . I couldn't breathe. Couldn't focus. My head was spinning. I logged off computer and decided I was done with him. He came home just as I logged off. We had a very heated discussion and he promised me he loved me and nothing ever happened. He swore he would cancel his accounts and not flirt with other women. I stayed. Seven months into dating he asked me to have lunch at his work. I was in his office eating and he had to get up and left the room. I couldn't help but wonder what he was doing on computer...so I got more than I could even imagine this time. He had more sex profiles up and was chatting with women as he worked. I confronted him and stayed. This was just horrible. I knew I could never trust him...but I decided that I was going to give him another fair chance and never again invade his privacy. We had a great relationship and I was truly starting to be happy. We talked of marriage. We even bought a ring and told our families. We had been together for over four years and three months away from the wedding. This time again I didn't mean to find anything but it happened. He left his email open again...this time I found him chatting with men from Craigslist and making plans at a hotel often with varies men..not just one...he was arching tv and I was in the kitchen when this happened....I was violently shaking and could badly think...I needed to arm myself and have some evidence of this in case things went ugly quick...I forwarded myself several emails. Then I stood up and just verbally blasted him. I left he followed...telling me that he never met anybody it was just curiosity. I couldn't breathe I was an absolute mess. I left and used emails as collatera to be able to get some of my things. I was three months away from ruining my life and also scares me is I considered having kids with him...I now am with a good kind hearted man who would never hurt me in this way and I know what it feels like to really be loved. I have reservations still and have a huge guard over my heart. I hope one day to let it down.

[CarrieT]

I am needing to vent about a past relationship...

 

...I now am with a good kind hearted man who would never hurt me in this way and I know what it feels like to really be loved. I have reservations still and have a huge guard over my heart. I hope one day to let it down.

 

I'm curious why you are feeling the need to relive all this now - especially with posting your Ex's online name for all the sites he was/is on. How can you "let it down" when you are here expanding on it?

[Finallyfoundlove]

A friend of ours (that I confided in) mentioned to me today that he is doing same thing to his new girlfriend...He asked me his profile name used and I told him.. He googled it and found that my ex is indeed still on sites. I guess I am still holding onto feelings that I should never of shared with him and wished he could of been morally right. I was devasted. I left him without any $ and just a bag of clothes, took me two years to recover. I guess just pure meanness is inside me still and being specific with his profile name is a way for me to cope.

[Forever Learning]

I am so glad you have found a good man now and are happy. Living with a dishonest person for years will take a toll on you, you never really know which way is up. You have a right to feel angry about what you went through. I hope that over time you will continue to heal and become whole. Read all you can around here and help others. It is a great form of healing. God bless you! And, continue to live life going forward and not dwelling on the past, with a positive and grateful heart. It is yet another way to have the best kind of life. All the best to you.