BetheButterfly Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 Hello, I believe monogamous marriages are the ideal that God has for a man and a woman. I do not believe that one has to get married officially by the government or even by a religious organization. However, I do believe marriage is a commitment before God between one man and one woman who decide to be live life together, enjoy God's gift of sex, have (or not have) children, and ideally grow old together! My Dad and my Mom were both virgins when they got married at 18 years old. Both had been raised in Christian families where purity was strictly emphasized. Sadly, nowadays purity is not held in such high esteem, even tragically in some Christian families, as in the time of my parents (they are in their 50s now) but both grew up with the idea that sex is a precious gift between a husband and wife, and they both grew up with a monogamous mindset. Both had been raised in families where the husband and wife did not get divorced, the husband did not have other wives or girlfriends or mistresses, but rather each couple were a team. I still have pictures of my Mamaw and Papaw, my Mom's parents, when they were younger and together with their kids, and then together with their grandkids, before my Mamaw passsed away from cancer, before her and Papaw's 50th wedding anniversary. My parents have had ups and downs in their relationship. No marriage is perfect. However, my Dad is faithful to my Mom, and my Mom is faithful to my Dad. They trust each other, and are faithful to each other, which is a beautiful thing and a beautiful security for them and for their children. Now, there is nowhere in the Bible that specifically prohibits polygamous marriages, but I hope people can understand that there are many benefits to monogamous marriages. Below are the following, which I have personally seen by observing the marriage of my parents, as well as experiencing my own marrige with my amazing husband (though sometimes I nickname him "El Dictador" lol, but that's another topic. 1. God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Eve and Jane and Kathryn and Bianca. A man and a woman = Adam and Eve, are a beautiful team, two flesh becoming one. (Genesis 2:20-25) So, why not follow the original plan that God had for humans, for a man and a woman to become one flesh? It is beautiful!!! 2. Women are by nature very sensitive. I am living proof of that. It is so easy to get upset, and I have put my husband through very wild roller coasters of emotion. However, my husband is very good at balancing my emotions with his patience and gentleness and strength. If, however, more women were added into the equation of "us', it would be very hard for the chemistry to flow in as beautiful a way as it does now... 3. Children love seeing their mom and dad show each other in kind ways that they love each other. Everytime I see my Mom and Dad smile at each other, and laugh and enjoy time together, my heart beams. I have seen some children, both kids and adult sons and daughters, have visible pain in their eyes when they see their Mom and Dad not showing love to each other. Now, it is very possible in polygamous marriages for parents to show their love to each other. However, the competition between wives (and from what I've heard, there is almost always a favorite) that it makes it hard because there is always the comparing going on. However, children who are the offspring of a happy monogamous marriage do not worry about their Mom being their Dad's favorite or being loved, or not. Below is the ideal that Christians believe concerning what marriage is.[/COLOR] Genesis 2 (NIV) - [COLOR=#000080]I boldened some.[/COLOR] "21 So the LORD God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man’s ribs[Or took part of the man’s side] and then closed up the place with flesh. 22 Then the LORD God made a woman from the rib[Or part] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. 23 The man said, “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.” 24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. " [COLOR=#000080]To me, the above is so romantic!!! Matthew Henry says the following... I don't know if it's originally written by him or is a quote from someone else? I boldened his quote.[/COLOR] "“The woman was made of a rib out of the side of Adam; not made out of his head to rule over him, nor out of his feet to be trampled upon by him, but out of his side to be equal with him, under his arm to be protected, and near his heart to be beloved.” ― Matthew Henry, Matthew Henry's Commentary on the Whole Bible: Complete and Unabridged in One Volume " [COLOR=#000080] I believe that is so true!!! Women are not sexual objects, not temporary gratification devises to be used then cast aside for a "newer model" Rather, a woman is a person who is equal with man, though different. Most men are stronger than most women. However, the strength is not to use to hurt, but rather to protect the woman he loves. Back to monogamous marriages: Healthy monogamous marriages include a connection that is more than just physical, but is also emotional, mental, and spiritual! Jesus confirms God's ideal of marriage when talking about divorce, accounted in Matthew.[/COLOR] Matthew 19 (NIV) - [COLOR=#000080]I boldened some. [/COLOR] "1 When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. 2 Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there. 3 Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?” 4 “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,’[Gen. 1:27] 5 and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh’[Gen. 2:24]? 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” 7 “Why then,” they asked, “did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?” 8 Jesus replied, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning." [COLOR=#000080]So, for many people who believe in God, monogamous marriages are the ideal. Marriage takes work... it takes commitment and shared goals and shared convictions, communication, comprise, and a sense of humor! I am grateful to be married to one man who I love very much and who I know loves me. We share convictions and goals, and even though we are very different from each other, we appreciate our differences and enjoy the life-long process of getting to know each other! Concerning you, what do you think? Do you prefer a monogamous marriage or a polygamous one or an "open marriage" or no marriage, and why? Thanks! Peace and God bless you 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 I am very much a monogamous person but it has nothing to do with religion. I think it all comes down to one's preference and if they are homosexual, polygamous, or anything else, it's ok. What really matters is being a good and decent human. If you are a good person I don't think any "higher being" will punish you for it. And if you are good and still punished for not playing by the rules then I really don't want to spend my afterlife with a control freak anyways. Link to post Share on other sites
Eve Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 LOL, monogamous marriage! What a term!!!! I do get you OP. It is just so funny as a term! Take care, Eve x 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author BetheButterfly Posted April 5, 2012 Author Share Posted April 5, 2012 I am very much a monogamous person but it has nothing to do with religion. I think it all comes down to one's preference and if they are homosexual, polygamous, or anything else, it's ok. What really matters is being a good and decent human. Cool. Do you think it's like an evolutionary trait where some animals seem to prefer one lifemate (generally mate for life) and even seem to be "married" (like penguins, swans, French angelfish, wolves (I adore wolves) bald eagles) and others have a harem (lions) or any one in heat will do (dogs, cats)? If you are a good person I don't think any "higher being" will punish you for it. And if you are good and still punished for not playing by the rules then I really don't want to spend my afterlife with a control freak anyways. Not all beliefs in God believe in a fiery torment for forever. Jewish Orthodox beliefs do not believe in that concept, I don't think. Link to post Share on other sites
Author BetheButterfly Posted April 5, 2012 Author Share Posted April 5, 2012 LOL, monogamous marriage! What a term!!!! I do get you OP. It is just so funny as a term! Take care, Eve x Well, there are "open marriages", "polygamous marriages" too so I just wanted to explain why I like monogamous marriages. Link to post Share on other sites
Philosoraptor Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 Cool. Do you think it's like an evolutionary trait where some animals seem to prefer one lifemate (generally mate for life) and even seem to be "married" (like penguins, swans, French angelfish, wolves (I adore wolves) bald eagles) and others have a harem (lions) or any one in heat will do (dogs, cats)? I do. Each creature has developed in a way that allows their species to thrive the best. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FredRutherford Posted May 9, 2012 Share Posted May 9, 2012 Well, there are "open marriages", "polygamous marriages" too so I just wanted to explain why I like monogamous marriages. Agree. There's a woman I've communicated with on another board. She calls herself a Christian, yet she and her husband engage in group sex, or sex with other people. She and him bring in another man and he watches, or vice-versa. That may not be "group" sex, I dunno anything about that activity. Kinda shocking. And yes, I did question (but not judge) her faith. Not the thing I'd do but I guess I'm learning that kind of thing is out there. Then there's another Christian woman on a Christian forum who says she had 60+ sexual partners, half of which were ONS, prior to marriage. Claims she was a Christian at the time and never felt any guilt about her premarital sexual activity. Now, I'm no prude and had SOME sex in my 20s... but dozens and dozens of partners??? Link to post Share on other sites
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