stitch702 Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 I began posting on LS about 7 months ago after my tough break-up with a girl who I went out with for 3.5 years that caught me extrememly off guard since I did not see it coming. She left me for another guy and that relationship did not work out. She ended up trying to come back to me, but I was just devastated at the fact that she left me for some one else to pursue her "fling." Needless to say I stayed N/C and she eventually found another b/f and paraded him wherever I would run into them. At parties, local areas we both frequent, social media, etc. It was a really messy and bad break-up where I felt as if I was at fault since she blamed me for everything. The situation emotionally, mentally, and physically drained me. I had just graduated from a Nursing program and was scheduled to take my board exam 1 month after my graduation date. After passing I was planning on proposing to this girl. She broke up with me 4 days before I was supposed to take this exam. I took it hard. I was not mentally prepared anymore and had anxiety attack and just lost my mind. I rescheduled since I beleived I was no longer ready. I lost 15lbs, slipped into a depression, moped around all day, and focused all my attention on begging her to come back to me. For 2 months I did this and I eventually stumbled onto this site which has been a godsend! I followed the advice on these forums despite how hard it was to hear all of it and chose to go into N/C. I hit the gym as much as I could and surrounded myself with my friends and family. I began volunteering at a local hospital at the advice of philosoraptor. I slowly began to pick the pieces of myself. I got to a point where I forced myself to begin studying again for my boards which was very hard to do. Skip to now. I'm in good shape. Have dated many wonderful girls, but have decided that I would like to focus on me for now so I am not looking for anything serious...that is until the right girl comes a long that can change my mind lol. I have made many new wonderful friends and have also realized the many wonderful people who were already in my life. I've experienced new things and have reached to a point where I am happy with being single for now. However I recieved the BEST news today. I passed my boards!!!! Also that little hospital that I volunteered at offered me a position to join their nursing staff if I do well in their newgrad program!!!!!! Things are looking great!!! The most important thing I have realized though.....is that I don't need her in my life to succeed, I never did. Through the Grace of God I may not have everything that I ever wanted, but i have every thing that I have ever NEEDED. For that I am thankful. For this forum and all the wonderful people in it who I have met, I am very thankful!!! To all of those who are still suffering and in pain keep on trucking along. There will be a light at the end of the tunnel. You may feel as if your heart has been broken and shattered into a million pieces, but its amazing to find that the heart is very resilient... 7 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 if ever anyone needed testimony to the ability of the human 'soul' to heal and move on, with the right support - you're it. Many, many congratulations on your fantastic achievements, and the fact that you have a job now, is simply awesome. Well done you - you're a credit to yourself - and you should justifiably be very pleased with what you have accomplished. Three cheers, buddy, well done you!! :bunny: 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lostinlife4now Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 Stitch!!!! My heart skipped a beat reading your story...SO VERY HAPPY FOR YOU! You deserve all the best. The people on this site have been the most caring, smart, empathic individuals I HAVE NEVER MET! Isn't that something! Strangers who are becoming so important in our everyday lives. Thank God! Keep going! Congratulations on your exam. You will make a fine nurse! You never know what the future holds, there might be a wonderful woman that you may someday call your wife! Hugs to you.....The heart and soul are RESILIENT!!!!! :D:D:D Link to post Share on other sites
budley12 Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 I began posting on LS about 7 months ago after my tough break-up with a girl who I went out with for 3.5 years that caught me extrememly off guard since I did not see it coming. She left me for another guy and that relationship did not work out. She ended up trying to come back to me, but I was just devastated at the fact that she left me for some one else to pursue her "fling." Needless to say I stayed N/C and she eventually found another b/f and paraded him wherever I would run into them. At parties, local areas we both frequent, social media, etc. It was a really messy and bad break-up where I felt as if I was at fault since she blamed me for everything. The situation emotionally, mentally, and physically drained me. I had just graduated from a Nursing program and was scheduled to take my board exam 1 month after my graduation date. After passing I was planning on proposing to this girl. She broke up with me 4 days before I was supposed to take this exam. I took it hard. I was not mentally prepared anymore and had anxiety attack and just lost my mind. I rescheduled since I beleived I was no longer ready. I lost 15lbs, slipped into a depression, moped around all day, and focused all my attention on begging her to come back to me. For 2 months I did this and I eventually stumbled onto this site which has been a godsend! I followed the advice on these forums despite how hard it was to hear all of it and chose to go into N/C. I hit the gym as much as I could and surrounded myself with my friends and family. I began volunteering at a local hospital at the advice of philosoraptor. I slowly began to pick the pieces of myself. I got to a point where I forced myself to begin studying again for my boards which was very hard to do. Skip to now. I'm in good shape. Have dated many wonderful girls, but have decided that I would like to focus on me for now so I am not looking for anything serious...that is until the right girl comes a long that can change my mind lol. I have made many new wonderful friends and have also realized the many wonderful people who were already in my life. I've experienced new things and have reached to a point where I am happy with being single for now. However I recieved the BEST news today. I passed my boards!!!! Also that little hospital that I volunteered at offered me a position to join their nursing staff if I do well in their newgrad program!!!!!! Things are looking great!!! The most important thing I have realized though.....is that I don't need her in my life to succeed, I never did. Through the Grace of God I may not have everything that I ever wanted, but i have every thing that I have ever NEEDED. For that I am thankful. For this forum and all the wonderful people in it who I have met, I am very thankful!!! To all of those who are still suffering and in pain keep on trucking along. There will be a light at the end of the tunnel. You may feel as if your heart has been broken and shattered into a million pieces, but its amazing to find that the heart is very resilient... Thank you so much for sharing your progress. It gives people like I whom still feels lost and not having a purpose in life. I'm at 4months since BU #1, 3months since BU#2... hope by month 7 I will be where you are at. Link to post Share on other sites
CopingGal Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 That is wonderful. Good for you. I may come on LS and bitching and moaning all the time because my heart has been shattered and my soul spat on, BUT since I left my ex, everything in my life (except my heart) is MUCH better. I'm back in grad school, I'm doing really well, my volunteer jobs are going very well. I realize too, I don't need him. I actually thought I did, but I don't. I have the best friend in the whole world and I have me. Link to post Share on other sites
blindesided Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 This gives me great hope!!! Thanks for sharing your story - Thats awesome! Link to post Share on other sites
Itsonlyme66 Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 I'm 7 weeks out of a 6 year relationship and even though he'd left before many times, I didn't see this one coming either. The fact that he's hiding somewhere leads me to believe he's with someone; especially since I have not heard a thing from him since he moved out. But reading your story gives me hope too. I needed to hear this today! I hope I can drive in the car soon without breaking into tears every time the radio plays music! Link to post Share on other sites
Author stitch702 Posted April 5, 2012 Author Share Posted April 5, 2012 Thank You all for the congratulatory words! I really appreciate it. I just hope my story can shed some hope and light for others who are going through tough times. My advice is just be strong. You may be enduring what may seem like endless suffering, but in time you will persevere. Keep yourself busy both mentally and physically. Focus on school. Pick up a new hobby that can entertain yourself for the time being. The gym is a perfect way to relieve all that stress and anger. Endorphins are a perfect drug to combat depression. Surround yourself with those that truly love and care for you. If you believe in a God of sorts turn to that as well. Go NO CONTACT! If you really want to heal from a relationship where the other person no longer really cares for you as you care for them N/C is the best tool to use. Honestly that is probably the first thing you should do and it is much easier said than done. Finally have hope and the belief that this too shall pass. No one is destined to be alone for the rest of their lives. People out there love you. Remember if you can climb out of bed...you can climb over ANY obstacles. On another note, I did take the advice of some people on this forum to start my own coping log to get those unwanted emotions out. I wrote excessively duing my dark days. Wrote a lot of bitter and resentful songs during my anger phase. Anyway one thing I wrote really captivated me and I would read it over and over whenever I had a bad day and it would make me feel a bit better. So I'll include it here so that maybe some of you may find comfort and solace in these words that I have... Resilience of the Heart Maybe there's a reason why certain things have changed, They turn just like the seasons as winter leads to spring; Oh how these hands of time seem to slowly tick away, And soon these memories of mine may slowly come to fade; Although the struggles and the suffering may seem impossible to cope, But time springs forth healing and a new array of hope; Pick up the pieces of yourself and mend your broken soul, Understand that some events in life occur beyond control; Find your joy and your laughter, forgive mistakes and right your wrongs, Learn to smile and love yourself, let it go and move along; For there will be a day in which the sorrow will be gone, And you shall stand in awe... Admiring that inner strength and will to carry on... Link to post Share on other sites
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