irin Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 so i can honestly say i am pretty much a non-believer, i dont want call myself and Atheist because, i have a side of me thats a bit of an agnostic, when it comes to spirituality, but i reject all organised religion. (no offence to believers) here is when it becomes interesting, i dont believe in sex outside of marriage! i know that whole marriage idea comes from variance sources of dogma. alot of different religions have it as rule to live by! this appeals to me the most out of all other mating systems we have at this day and age. i have no interest in being in relationship with a guy, have sex with them and then break up, then repeat this until i find someone to marry. for the guys on here who seem to think marriage means "money, security, and protection for women " that not the case with me. i have no problem pre-nups, and i have family and friends to offer me security and protection. i simply want a family and a life partner to share my life with. does my lack of believe make this impossible? considering only some religious people share this believe? i know even religious people have no interest in this any more. do you think i have a chance of finding someone who can respect this, or iam just not Normal enough? Link to post Share on other sites
Jessica w Posted April 4, 2012 Share Posted April 4, 2012 My husband and I are both atheists. We didn't wait for marriage but I remember some of my atheist friends saying what is the point of marriage at all, and I know many atheists and agnostics (we met at and used to attend atheist meetings) who are all over the page in their beliefs on marriage. Old couples who've been married for 60 years... to the bachelor who never wants to be married and everything in between. I don't think you have to be religious to want or expect certain things in your love life and relationships. Best of luck to you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author irin Posted April 5, 2012 Author Share Posted April 5, 2012 thank you for your reply, everyone makes feel as though iam crazy! Link to post Share on other sites
Jessica w Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 I know how that can feel. One thing I learned when I started meeting more atheists and agnostics is that not one person has the same beliefs etc, mostly because there is no organized "church" with rules and beliefs that we abide by. We really are all over the place. I've heard people say organizing freethinkers is like herding cats. lol 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BetheButterfly Posted April 5, 2012 Share Posted April 5, 2012 (edited) so i can honestly say i am pretty much a non-believer, i dont want call myself and Atheist because, i have a side of me thats a bit of an agnostic, when it comes to spirituality, but i reject all organised religion. (no offence to believers) here is when it becomes interesting, i dont believe in sex outside of marriage! i know that whole marriage idea comes from variance sources of dogma. alot of different religions have it as rule to live by! this appeals to me the most out of all other mating systems we have at this day and age. i have no interest in being in relationship with a guy, have sex with them and then break up, then repeat this until i find someone to marry. for the guys on here who seem to think marriage means "money, security, and protection for women " that not the case with me. i have no problem pre-nups, and i have family and friends to offer me security and protection. i simply want a family and a life partner to share my life with. does my lack of believe make this impossible? considering only some religious people share this believe? i know even religious people have no interest in this any more. do you think i have a chance of finding someone who can respect this, or iam just not Normal enough? Hello Irin, I don't think you're the only one. I know some Atheists and Agnostics who do like/prefer finding a mate with as less sexual hopping around as possible. They marry and as far as I know, are faithful and happy with their mate. So, I am sure you can find someone who is like that. They are not the current trend of the average person right now, but there are people who aren't religious who do prefer sex in marriage and not out of it for various reasons. By the way, I totally agree with this quote: "Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish it's source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings." Edited April 5, 2012 by BetheButterfly Link to post Share on other sites
Eve Posted April 6, 2012 Share Posted April 6, 2012 so i can honestly say i am pretty much a non-believer, i dont want call myself and Atheist because, i have a side of me thats a bit of an agnostic, when it comes to spirituality, but i reject all organised religion. (no offence to believers) here is when it becomes interesting, i dont believe in sex outside of marriage! i know that whole marriage idea comes from variance sources of dogma. alot of different religions have it as rule to live by! this appeals to me the most out of all other mating systems we have at this day and age. i have no interest in being in relationship with a guy, have sex with them and then break up, then repeat this until i find someone to marry. for the guys on here who seem to think marriage means "money, security, and protection for women " that not the case with me. i have no problem pre-nups, and i have family and friends to offer me security and protection. i simply want a family and a life partner to share my life with. does my lack of believe make this impossible? considering only some religious people share this believe? i know even religious people have no interest in this any more. do you think i have a chance of finding someone who can respect this, or iam just not Normal enough? OP, H'mm.. I can only answer from my own experience/s and would say that I felt something was missing but did not know what it was (in partners) pre my Hubby. Overall, I knew that I could not marry them, not even the dad of my girls.. well, especially not that idiot I think that it is case of being willing to live by what you believe moreso than being inhibited by what you believe.. if you see my point. There is subtle diffference in words but complete difference in the paths that can be created from each perspective. The most important thing I would say is that you live from a space of honesty in what you do and acknowledge what you do not know - but reach out and believe that in the purest sense that you can achieve love and ask the Universe to help you accomplish this. For me this meant that I came to a place of acknowledging that I could not achieve what I wanted out of a future marriage in my (then) current state. I may be wrong but I do think this is an intrinsic process achievable once a person has achieved a certain level of spiritual awakening. Some seem to then meet God along the way and some settle for what they find and make a life. I felt that if I had continued as I was I would have been living from an inauthentic place. So, I can only urge you to enter into a period of really re-evaluating your core beliefs. In total, I was lead beyond a phase of what I would call agnosticism within my own life by doing the above. The greatest benefit of this was that I became able to define, experience, share and reproduce love for myself and with others. These skills enabled me to send out the right message to others and I do believe that this was at the core of my finding my Hubby and being able to live with just him. He was on a similar path too at the time; love was his objective. You may not want what I wanted and there are many definitions of Civil arrangements and marriage based on lifestyle choices out there. I suppose it is a case of either slotting into a social definition or deliberately engineering a fit. How far you believe you can engineer a fit depends on being honest about ones objectives, which often is very hard for humans to define. I mean, we all want to be seen in the best light but few really go beyond social convention, which I view as being time limited in comparison to a marriage based on faith. Well, that was my pivot and my life has been amazing. I reckon it is about finding what your pivot is along your journey and being realistic and honest about this. After all, are you really asking for anything more than for either party to not cheat? Take care, Eve x 1 Link to post Share on other sites
FredRutherford Posted June 2, 2012 Share Posted June 2, 2012 (edited) so i can honestly say i am pretty much a non-believer, i dont want call myself and Atheist because, i have a side of me thats a bit of an agnostic, when it comes to spirituality, but i reject all organised religion. (no offence to believers) here is when it becomes interesting, i dont believe in sex outside of marriage! i know that whole marriage idea comes from variance sources of dogma. alot of different religions have it as rule to live by! this appeals to me the most out of all other mating systems we have at this day and age. You're not alone in this. In my late 20s, dated an agnostic woman who was a virgin. She made it clear she planned to remain that way, which wasn't really a "problem" as I understood her stance and respected it. Was a stance I was once more adamant about myself.... A couple of years before her, dated a 30 y.o. Christian virgin who also kept firm to her stance. We ALMOST got engaged and I saw potential with her, so didn't press her as wanted a life relationship more than pleasing my p*nis. Platonically dated a non-virgin Christian for 3-4 mos. and the next big relationship I had for 1.5 years was with a never-married non-virgin Christian in her mid-30s. Though she wasn't a virgin, she was trying to live sexually responsibly and we almost had sex one night. We did a lot of "everything...but." Actually, I turned her down when she "offered" as felt conflicted about it and knew her stance. i have no interest in being in relationship with a guy, have sex with them and then break up, then repeat this until i find someone to marry. Does seem pointless and like a waste, doesn't it? Like the irrational "gotta test drive the car" because "you won't be sure if you're compatible" nonsense you read all the time. Edited June 2, 2012 by FredRutherford Link to post Share on other sites
Feelin Frisky Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 One can be atheist and very moral. There is nothing about belief in god or religion that establishes an automatic pass for believers. I just read an article recently about a study that showed that atheists are generally more compassionate than religious folks. I don't still have a link or I'd post it. It stands to reason however that people who believe in people are more apt to think about ways to make a difference than those who believe in praying for an invisible third party to do things to make things right. I think the holocaust should have been the ultimate nail in the Judeo/Christian world of mythology. Six million of the so-called chosen people were not lifted a finger for by their deity. And the genocide of Christians against Muslims in Kosovo speaks volumes about the hypocrisy of religion. If neither human groups were defined as Christians and Muslims it's far less likely that there could have been such a horrific purge. Religion often is poison. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d'Arthez Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 here is when it becomes interesting, i dont believe in sex outside of marriage! i know that whole marriage idea comes from variance sources of dogma. alot of different religions have it as rule to live by! this appeals to me the most out of all other mating systems we have at this day and age. i have no interest in being in relationship with a guy, have sex with them and then break up, then repeat this until i find someone to marry. Atheism / agnosticism is quite common these days. Waiting for marriage before having sex is quite rare these days, even amongst the religious folks. Probably more so for the men than the women, due to cultural taboos. do you think i have a chance of finding someone who can respect this, or iam just not Normal enough? Not impossible at all. These people are rare, and you'd definitely not want to date for a few years with a guy who fits your criteria before considering to get married - but that means you will have to be very observant of your potential husband(s), and make certain you are on the same page about a lot of things in life, such as your beliefs, aspirations, what you want to do, how you want to shape your future etc.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
black_shemer Posted June 7, 2012 Share Posted June 7, 2012 ,dont worry irin your not alone.for all of that billions people int the worl,dont think your the only one being this.i know someday u will find someone who will truly love you and make a whole happy family.but you should never forget that without God in your hearts,it will never be succesful. Im sorry i have to say this,no offense to u..i am a christian and its my job to spread God words. Thank you Link to post Share on other sites
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