Bestfriend or Girlfriend?

[brandon98103]

Ok,

There is a girl I met 10 months ago, her sister is friends with my sister, that is how I met her. I get on well with all her family especially her sister and her mum. We grew close straight away really and she was having relationship problems at the time. We started having a thing, and we both liked each other, but as usual for me I missed all the signs :S :L

 

She ended up going out with someone else, for this I turned into the best friend figure. I told her how I felt literally hours after she started going out with him, I didn’t know that had happened.

 

Her response with this is that she had mixed feelings, I know for a fact I am very important to her, and I think I am just about the closest person to her. She calls me in the early hours of the morning, crying and I am the one she comes to, she talks all her problems through with me.

 

Because of this boyfriend what I was then experiencing was unrequited love :/

It is the worst feeling you can ever have, it is hard to describe, I don’t know if you have felt it or not, but it is not nice at all.

 

She split up with him, but her and I had drifted a bit at that time, someone else has taken that place. I forgot to say, she doesn’t have a great history, she has had some really nasty boyfriends, that have got her into some bad things. This has left her as quite a delicate girl.

 

But I have got back close to her again. My feelings for her always flick between love and agape love (best friend love) and I think I am trying to force myself into wanting to be friends due to the unrequited love leading to a drop in confidence in that sort of area.

 

Recently she has had some bad things happen in her life and has been taking a lot of my time up either calling her or being with her.

 

But today I spent a lot of time with her, I just find her soo easy to talk to, about everything and anything, she is really cuddly loyal, and really I think she is everything I want in a girl.

 

Recently she has been choosing me over her boyfriend with who to talk to and spend time with. That may be because he is busy and working but I generally get the impression she is getting annoyed with him and that she prefers spending time with me.

 

Our friendship is always easy going and today, it got quite flirty I have to say, but when we were just snuggling up, I could see she was loving every second of it. And then I got some deep eye contact with her, and well her pupils were soo dilated, and just the ways she was looking at me I can’t get out of my head even hours after I just remember that one look. I know there was something special, or something more there. There has to be, I can’t really describe that look, but to me I saw it as love. She trusts me with everything, literally.

 

I am not trying to split her relationship one bit with any of my actions, just trying to be caring.

 

We are really, really, really close, but i just don’t know what to do or go about it. She loved today and plans on spending the whole of next week with me. Which is good, because she aced her stats exam and is good at French (both I need help with) and is struggling in maths and science it is like fate, as that is my strong area

[january2011]

When the opportunity was there, you two never got it together.

 

I think she's using you for support and it's unfair because she probably knows that you're willing to be there for her and you're allowing yourself to be taken advantage of.

 

While you say that you're not trying to drive a wedge between her and her current boyfriend, your actions suggest otherwise.

 

This is a girl that you can't have and you are accepting whatever breadcrumbs she throws your way. Don't be that guy. Set your boundaries with this girl and find someone who is available to return your love with her whole heart. Not someone who is leading you on by allowing you to be her not-boyfriend.

[WordvAction]

Sorry but it sounds as if this girl is using you as her emotional tampon