Why go to all the trouble? Is he being inappropriate?

[bikinibeach]

Before he met me, my boyfriend was surrounded by a bunch of very strong, very attractive single women. He was recently out of a eight year relationship and just learning on how to pick up women etc. He tells me he didn't see any of them in "that way" which I find hard to believe since he loves to wax poetic about how AMAZING they are, told me his guy friend totally thought he would hook up with so-and-so, but nothing ever happened.

 

I think it's because he was too scared/intimidated.

 

Anyway, there was this girl who everyone thought he would end up with (he claims to not know why) who he met and was besties with over a long weekend. Everyone was cooking together, they were all talking and sharing, they stayed at his house and he let her use his bathtub..blah blah. Nothing ever happened.

 

My impression of her is...lukewarm at best. He tells me she's the kind of chick who other chicks hate. And one time, I saw him add someone on facebook with a body shot wearing lingerie for a profile picture and a stripper sounding fake name. I asked him about it and he laughs and says it was that chick- she created a profile for her 'alter ego' and then went and added all of her friends back- including married ones and ones with girlfriends....just seemed really juvenile and selfish to me. I was annoyed that he seemed amused by it.

 

Sorry for the backstory.

 

He hasn't had any contact with her since that long weekend almost a year ago, other than constantly liking her dumb crap on facebook (again, highly annoying). OK...an exaggeration..he liked one of her things, once. That I know of/saw.

 

He and I are going to attend a 2 day get together 4 hours away and we will be driving through the town where this chick lives. He wants to detour so that he can get his hair cut by her, APPARENTLY she is some amazing freaking hairdresser... and ok, my guy is pretty into his hair but...it's like 2 inches long..not exactly rocket science.

 

I really don't like him going out of our way to support her and have her lean over him and work her hands in his hair.

 

It just pisses me off. If I met some guy I connected with briefly over a weekend and then a year later he dragged his girlfriend half across a city to get his hair cut by me...I would be thinking something was up.

 

I have completely axed any single guy friends I was hanging around with he and I got serious. I'm not talking about like, childhood friends or anything, but for example, when I was single, I was talking to a guy on Meetup, completely platonic, we had common interests. He was good looking, with a sexy accent. We were both single. We were going to go for tea together and talked about the environment. Would it be appropriate for me to drag my boyfriend out to visit him a year later?? It's not cheating or anything, it just seems WEIRD and kind of inappropriate, am I wrong?

 

I'm sure he would wonder if I gushed about this guy with washboard abs for a profile pic, talked about how my friends thought we were going to hook up but didn't and then dragged my boyfriend over to him so he could rotate my tires for me, he'd be like, what the ...??

 

On the other hand, I don't want to say anything and just seem jealous and pathetic to him. I kind of feel like I should just let him get his kicks, seems pretty harmless and she lives in another city. He seems to think I would like her and does want us to meet. I don't think he's trying to cheat or be weird or anything, I just don't like him giving another girl that kind of attention- it's embarrassing to me as his girlfriend. She's STILL single by the way.

 

What should I do? Interested in other people's perspectives on this. Is he being weird? I don't know for a fact but pretty sure this will cost us about 2 hours travel time.

Edited April 6, 2012 by bikinibeach

[veggirl]

Yes that is totally inappropriate. Your BF must kinda relish any attention he gets from her or because of her (friends saying they'd hook up)...it's an ego boost or something. I would not be okay with this at all. there is NO WAY I would be cool with going 2 hrs out of my way for my man to get his haircut by some girl he was oggling!! Geez. No way. I can't fathom my BF doing this, but if he did...I don't know, I'd have a really hard time being with someone who was friending girls in lingerie on FB, or having girls like that as friends (sorry but it takes a certain personality trait to be the girl posting lingerie pics on the internet). I would be really turned off, guys aren't animals, drooling over a girl and bragging (thats what he is doing when he tells you these stories) is inappropriate and immature and not the type of guy I'd want. I'd honestly sit him down, talk and if this wasn't 100% ended, I'd walk. TBH I might anyway just cause of the pukey feeling I'd have...

[bikinibeach]

Yes that is totally inappropriate. Your BF must kinda relish any attention he gets from her or because of her (friends saying they'd hook up)...it's an ego boost or something. I would not be okay with this at all. there is NO WAY I would be cool with going 2 hrs out of my way for my man to get his haircut by some girl he was oggling!! Geez. No way. I can't fathom my BF doing this, but if he did...I don't know, I'd have a really hard time being with someone who was friending girls in lingerie on FB, or having girls like that as friends (sorry but it takes a certain personality trait to be the girl posting lingerie pics on the internet). I would be really turned off, guys aren't animals, drooling over a girl and bragging (thats what he is doing when he tells you these stories) is inappropriate and immature and not the type of guy I'd want. I'd honestly sit him down, talk and if this wasn't 100% ended, I'd walk. TBH I might anyway just cause of the pukey feeling I'd have...

 

I agree with this. I talked to him about it last night and we figured it out.

He said he could understand how it would look weird.

 

And yeah, he was bragging. He loves to brag about people he knows and name drop... we've discussed this!

 

Thanks for the input