mudkipsareclosed Posted April 6, 2012 Share Posted April 6, 2012 About a year and a half ago my husband of three years(21) found a mentor over tge internet to help teach him about computer science. When i would be on my husband's computer i would sometimes make small talk with his mentor (28) Alex. Slowly we began to talk more and more. When my husband and i (19) would fight i would ask for advice or if something was bothering my husband. a few months ago when i was pregnant with our second son, Alex and i became very close and i opened up emotionally to him. From then on we became closer and closer as friends. my husband and i were drinking about a month ago when he told me that he would really lile Alex to fly here to hang out with him. I wanted to be a good wife and surprise him by picking up extra hours at work to buy Alex a plane ticket. The more we talked, the more i caught myself liking him and being excited to see him. My husband and i are not happily married. Harmless flirting turned into serious flirting and one night turned into phone sex. i have never been more turned on by a man who doesn't even touch me in my entire life. We continue to flirt and make plans about spending. "Alone time" together and he just makes me feel amazing. Alex will be here in three days and i don't know what to do anymore ..any advice? Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted April 6, 2012 Share Posted April 6, 2012 Tell your husband. Link to post Share on other sites
Emme Posted April 6, 2012 Share Posted April 6, 2012 I wanted to be a good wife and surprise him by picking up extra hours at work to buy Alex a plane ticket. ..any advice? You worked OT to get him here.... You didn't do it for your husband, you did it for you. It's time you get honest about your marriage and about who you really are. If you want your freedom, ask for it. If you want a open marriage, ask for it. It's time for you to step up and do right by your husband before anymore damage occurs. When Alex arrives be a bad step-mother and treat Alex like a step-child. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
alexandria35 Posted April 6, 2012 Share Posted April 6, 2012 Oh wow...so you two got married when you were 16 and he was 19. Holy Moses! You were just a kid. Why did you marry so young? And now here you are just 3 years into the marriage and cheating. I don't know what to tell you. I definitely don't think you should cheat on your husband, but maybe you should think about if you really want to be married or not. I got pregnant with my oldest son when I was just 16. It was hard being a single mother at such a young age. However I think being married would have been even harder. I'm not advocating divorce either because you have young kids and ideally it would be best for them to have a 2 parent home but cheating will just make your situation way way worse. Maybe you need to have a frank and honest discussion with your husband about how you are feeling and how tempted you are to be with someone else. Let him know who it is so he can put a stop to the computer mentoring ASAP. Right now both you and the other guy are making a fool of your husband. Stop that right now! Then either work on improving your marriage or work towards ending the marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted April 6, 2012 Share Posted April 6, 2012 You aren't falling in love - you have created a fantasy image of a person and become infatuated/obsessed with that mental creation because you married too young and are now unhappy in your marriage. The best thing you could do would be to tell your husband. I'm willing to bet $1,000 that you won't because that would be a sign of maturity which I don't believe yet exists within your relationship. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted April 6, 2012 Share Posted April 6, 2012 (edited) i take it that alex never farts always does half the housework, cleans the loo half the time real fair, and even smells ok in the morning and never has an off-day and is sending you and only flowers - break this off, all of it your children need you Edited April 6, 2012 by darkmoon Link to post Share on other sites
Lauriebell82 Posted April 7, 2012 Share Posted April 7, 2012 So I'm guessing you guys got married so young due to a pregnancy? Sounds like you lost your youth/teenage years, so you are trying to get them back by having this exciting "dating like experience." Unfortuantely you are already married and have two children, therefore dating and phone sex are not appropriate. I agree with the others that you need to fess up to your husband about your feelings for this guy. Seeking individual counseling to deal with your feelings of getting married and having children so young would be a good idea as well. Link to post Share on other sites
scatterd Posted April 8, 2012 Share Posted April 8, 2012 Oh i really hope you guys stop this right now.This is a horrible situation you are in.This could ruin your life dont send anymore tickets to him and if your marriage is bad go to marriage counseling.I wish you the best and affairs ruin many lives. Link to post Share on other sites
elfman Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 (edited) Wow... I guess nowadays this sort of thing is morally right... how can women be so ridiculously naive and gullible? Honey, this is what will happen, he'll get there, you two will find the time to sneak around and have sex, (you will find that he is much better on the phone than in the sack)... he'll go back to his real life, you will feel devastated, your work will suffer, your kids will suffer, your husband will doubt (we are not that stupid), he will find out, he will probably not forgive you... your Alex will be far gone and have left a huge disaster in his wake. You might as well call him "Hurricane Alex", cause once he leaves, the **** will have hit the fan for you. You need to stop this now, before you blow your life to pieces. E. P.S: Damn, did not realize this post was 5 days old... that means Alex probably already got to "tap" you... well, chronicle of an announced death. Edited April 11, 2012 by elfman Link to post Share on other sites
wannabdone Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 This is the makings for a lifetime move. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mme. Chaucer Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 The husband is 21, the "drama queen" is only 19 And she's been married for THREE YEARS! No grown ups in this little tale. Link to post Share on other sites
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