BewitchedandBothered Posted April 7, 2012 Share Posted April 7, 2012 I admire you. Thank you for making me smile:) Link to post Share on other sites
HollyBolly Posted April 7, 2012 Share Posted April 7, 2012 Thank you for making me smile:) You deserve it. From reading your posts, you have helped, I don't know how many people. Me, of course, included. Again, I admire you. Link to post Share on other sites
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 7, 2012 Share Posted April 7, 2012 You deserve it. From reading your posts, you have helped, I don't know how many people. Me, of course, included. Again, I admire you. I am so glad I have been able to help. xoxoxoxox 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Fitz Posted April 7, 2012 Share Posted April 7, 2012 Hey there:) Well, I used to think I was the best he ever had/will have, but found out that the new girlfriend is a successful veterinarian who has traveled the world. She is a beautiful blonde haired, blue eyed girl who he seems to be proud to show off. I am none of these things and wasn't show-off worthy to him. Before I blocked mutual contacts, I saw he tagged everyone in his latest fb cover picture and in this picture was of her in a lovely water fall setting. I figure he struck gold, they are together since January. Compared to her, I am 5 feet tall, auburn hair, not successful in a career; didn't do the phi beta kappa thing as she did; could not afford to finish college, yet her career is amazing; I'm just average and have not travelled. It made me feel that maybe she is the best he ever had and I am just a goofy shmuck who fell for his charm once upon a time and somehow provoked his abuse. Off topic: Not everybody is into blondes. I prefer dark haired girls! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
blindesided Posted April 7, 2012 Share Posted April 7, 2012 I agree with HollyBolly - You tell it like it is & pull no punches on this forum & I think a lot of us need to hear that & I admire you too. I am sure you have helped more people than you think 2 Link to post Share on other sites
HollyBolly Posted April 7, 2012 Share Posted April 7, 2012 I am so glad I have been able to help. xoxoxoxox Me, too. How long did it take? For you to get over him, I mean? Link to post Share on other sites
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 7, 2012 Share Posted April 7, 2012 Me, too. How long did it take? For you to get over him, I mean? It didn't take long to get over him, per se. He was verbally and mentally abusive, blamed me for his impotence, played mental games, openly flirted==over the top flirting with other women on his Facebook, etc. After awhile, I didn't like him anymore; he burst the bubble; the charming man I fell for never existed and these were his true colors. But.....18 months to come to terms with the situation. I was a mess at first; self esteem in the toilet and needed to move on from that pain. When I found out he had a new g/f, it opened the wound a little bit, but then a friend said "that new girl got the booby prize', lOL. It perked me right up again. I was angry because I felt he shouldn't keep getting away with his awful behavior...He was this way with me, his ex wife and an ex g/f he dated before he met the wife. Time truly heals---I didn't allow time to work its magic==I took an antidepressant so I could stop feeling for awhile. When I got off it, the problem was sitting there waiting for me to resume hurting. Link to post Share on other sites
HollyBolly Posted April 7, 2012 Share Posted April 7, 2012 I agree with HollyBolly - You tell it like it is & pull no punches on this forum & I think a lot of us need to hear that & I admire you too. I am sure you have helped more people than you think Cheers, mate! I just see no point in pushing the WRONG buttons. If we're here, it means we're hurt. So, let's just be honest and hurt together...HONESTLY! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
EgoJoe Posted April 7, 2012 Share Posted April 7, 2012 I got a 3:30am message after 7 weeks of NC in which I ninja vanished when she was making excuses and bull****ting. It said, "Things are tough but I am doing better. I am very busy and stressed with school and family. I hope you have moved on and are also in a better place." I think she was drunk, is in denial, deflecting and projecting. She is a dumb, lying, skank, ho and whoever she is with really "lucked up" with the girl she is now. I'm a prize. Smart, good looking, young and with the life experience of a man twice my age. Link to post Share on other sites
HollyBolly Posted April 7, 2012 Share Posted April 7, 2012 It didn't take long to get over him, per se. He was verbally and mentally abusive, blamed me for his impotence, played mental games, openly flirted==over the top flirting with other women on his Facebook, etc. After awhile, I didn't like him anymore; he burst the bubble; the charming man I fell for never existed and these were his true colors. But.....18 months to come to terms with the situation. I was a mess at first; self esteem in the toilet and needed to move on from that pain. When I found out he had a new g/f, it opened the wound a little bit, but then a friend said "that new girl got the booby prize', lOL. It perked me right up again. I was angry because I felt he shouldn't keep getting away with his awful behavior...He was this way with me, his ex wife and an ex g/f he dated before he met the wife. Time truly heals---I didn't allow time to work its magic==I took an antidepressant so I could stop feeling for awhile. When I got off it, the problem was sitting there waiting for me to resume hurting. ****, I'm sorry! That sounds just awful! Do what I do: drink LOTS of vodka! Seriously, though...I don't know. I drank too much vodka tonight... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 7, 2012 Share Posted April 7, 2012 I agree with HollyBolly - You tell it like it is & pull no punches on this forum & I think a lot of us need to hear that & I admire you too. I am sure you have helped more people than you think Thank you:) It's hard to see people hurting and I just want to snap them out of it and help them to see it will all be okay. Maybe my openness comes from being 'battle hardened'. xoxoxox 2 Link to post Share on other sites
fucpcg Posted April 7, 2012 Share Posted April 7, 2012 My most recent ex is just a school teacher. She was a package deal with 3 kids, who were tough to deal with in good part because of an ******* father who always tried to cause problems. She's never traveled anywhere really. She is beautiful with a great body, but not anymore beautiful than other women I have dated. She had issues from her failed marriage that could be very challenging to work with, but... She was my soulmate. I'm not a 21 year old saying this, I am a 41 year old. I don't care what woman would have shown up, I would not have left her under any circumstance (she chose to leave me, but that is another story). I don't care if some woman who had traveled the world, only to return to hit the MegaMillions, who used to be a model while working her way thru her college, whatever. I would NOT have left my ex for that woman, nor would the thought have even crossed my mind. Bewitched if that is what you dated, then maybe this girl is the best he will ever do, but it certainly won't be the best she ever does. And if this man truly ever cared about you, I don't care who came knocking, he would not have left you for her. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
mike588 Posted April 7, 2012 Share Posted April 7, 2012 (edited) Off topic: Not everybody is into blondes. I prefer dark haired girls! Me too...I'm a sucker for brunettes...even ones with curlers in their hair (your pict) lol! Edited April 7, 2012 by mike588 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 7, 2012 Share Posted April 7, 2012 My most recent ex is just a school teacher. She was a package deal with 3 kids, who were tough to deal with in good part because of an ******* father who always tried to cause problems. She's never traveled anywhere really. She is beautiful with a great body, but not anymore beautiful than other women I have dated. She had issues from her failed marriage that could be very challenging to work with, but... She was my soulmate. I'm not a 21 year old saying this, I am a 41 year old. I don't care what woman would have shown up, I would not have left her under any circumstance (she chose to leave me, but that is another story). I don't care if some woman who had traveled the world, only to return to hit the MegaMillions, who used to be a model while working her way thru her college, whatever. I would NOT have left my ex for that woman, nor would the thought have even crossed my mind. Bewitched if that is what you dated, then maybe this girl is the best he will ever do, but it certainly won't be the best she ever does. And if this man truly ever cared about you, I don't care who came knocking, he would not have left you for her. Hi friend! We had been broken up before he found her after scouring all the dating sites to fill his time with the ladies. He was desperate and would settle for anyone because he didn't want to be alone---his words. I couldn't be there 24/7 for him the way he wanted. I once asked him "do you want ME, or anyone?"--he never answered. He began a relationship with this new one around January according to a well meaning friend. I told her I really don't care to know anymore of his doings. I like what you said about he won't be the best for her--I wonder how long she will stay with him/how long it will be before she sees the true colors. I can only pray that she doesn't hurt like me and his 2 ex's did. We all suffered, big time. He said I was his soulmate once, but then he said that about the ex's, too. Also, people keep saying 'there's probably something wrong with her, too!" LOL!!! It made me smile. But after seeing the light, I don't know what she sees in him--except that initial charm. One of the last things he said to me was he didn't think he would ever find anyone with the wonderful chemistry that we had; we clicked. But...he could have chameleoned himself to share commonalities with me, the way he has done with other ladies. Link to post Share on other sites
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 7, 2012 Share Posted April 7, 2012 Me too...I'm a sucker for brunettes...even ones with curlers in their hair (your pict) lol! Mike:) You rock:)!!! Link to post Share on other sites
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 7, 2012 Share Posted April 7, 2012 ****, I'm sorry! That sounds just awful! Do what I do: drink LOTS of vodka! Seriously, though...I don't know. I drank too much vodka tonight... If I drank, I would drink that, LOL!!!! But, I never had the taste for wine and spirits:) I do, however, eat chocolate!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
OffandOnStillinLove Posted April 7, 2012 Share Posted April 7, 2012 In my experience they always come back! Right now that is what you are truly wishing for I know! I wished for it too and by the time I stopped wishing for it she was calling me about some book shelves she wanted back so she could move in with her new boyfriend. I gave her back the bookshelves but it didnt stop there she started contacting me daily and I felt that she wanted me back, which I found out that she did. After taking her back in no short order do she proceed to drop me on my head and leave me again, this time it felt worse than the last time. You deserve someone who wont leave you and this person has already played their cards and showed you what their going to do when their in doubt....LEAVE My advice is try try and try again to move on! Rob ditto for me! It was horrible, he waited a few years, called my school [ i was teaching at the time] seveal times in one day, I hadnt seen messages until end of day and he called again. Call was transferred into my classroom, he told me he wanted to see me, just to talk,... a month passed, we had coffee or somn a couple times and theh he said "I think youre the one, Ive made the bigest mistake, bla bla bla" - I beleived him, We dated for that year, to see how it was "different" and at the end ofthe year [ Nov] he said I think youre my soulmate [ a word that will forever have a painful feeling/memory when I hear it] , so I was thrilled, we seemed to agree that we woudl get married [ no date] but in a week later he said "Ive flipped out, I dont know what I meant, or think, or who I am, or if I meant any of this" and had a meltdown, and broke up with me. Took a few years to get over that - then, like the biggest fool in the world we started being "just friends" for 2011... I felt I was over him fully since 2006-ish.... THEN the end of the year of hanging out I was getting scared b/c I started liking him, for HIM TODAY, a more mature, caring ,etc person.... bUT he still doesn't feel the same - I had to end the friednship - I m NOW heartbroken again. just ended friendship in Nov [boy NOV is a bad month, lol] Wow, there goes half my life - Please dont follow along and please learn from my horrible experience! [heartbroken] 1 Link to post Share on other sites
OffandOnStillinLove Posted April 7, 2012 Share Posted April 7, 2012 Hey man...like you, I do secretly want my ex back and hope they call...but that's not gonna happen. An ex is only gonna contact you until you are over them. I don't know why or how this works but it seems to be the way it works. So just try your best to move on and get over your ex, stop waiting for a call and stop hoping for reconciliation. Like you, I would take my ex back but she ripped my heart into pieces and didn't even feel bad, she just ignored me and went out partying. So the only way I would take her back is if she begged me for it. She won't do any better than me, she's missing out on a caring and loving boyfriend that is hard to find these days. So evens if your ex contacts you, ignore them until they're 100 percent serious about getting back together and that's what you want. If they're not willing to try their hardest to get you back, then it's not worth getting back together. So basically, don't worry about her getting in contact with you at all just focus your energy on moving on! hey, THAT DUDEXO, see my post, and you'll not want to go back, even if they beg,.... look at how ive wasted half my life.... Link to post Share on other sites
Glove_slap Posted April 7, 2012 Share Posted April 7, 2012 it's been over a year and a half with no NC - almost 2 years of being broken up => she dumped me and started dating another guy => their still together => haven't heard from her since. Link to post Share on other sites
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