amerikajin Posted June 16, 2004 Share Posted June 16, 2004 <sigh> I've been hanging out with this new girl at work (we work in a very large office with lots of turnover). Anyway, nice girl. We've been touring the area together and I've been showing her around where we live. When I first met her about three weeks ago, I thought she was cute, but I just wanted some friendship as I was on here spewing about some other chick who cancelled our lunch date at the last minute (some of you may remember that outburst of mine). Anyhoo, I started hanging around this new girl and I've never really treated her as anything other than just a friend. But today...we went hiking in the mountains together. Saw some really cool stuff. Late lunch/early dinner together. Had a great time, and I guess she had a decent time as well. I haven't been able to stop thinking about what a great day it was - with her. We talk about all sorts of things and I really enjoy her company. A part of me really doesn't want to get involved with her, as I've grown weary of dating (or scouting) people I work with. Moreover, I feel that at this point, nothing has really been implied about our relationship going beyond the boundaries of friendship, although there are times when I wonder what she's thinking behind her smile. I don't know how I should feel or what I should do, but I feel a connection to her somehow. The thing is, I've really played it cool with her. I've even outright told her I'm dating other people, though I haven't done so in a conspicuous manner. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted June 16, 2004 Share Posted June 16, 2004 It has always been my belief, reinforced by life experience, that falling for a friend is a much better way to end up in a relationship than doing the 'dating' thing. We talk about all sorts of things and I really enjoy her company. To me, that's the definition of a great relationship! Contine as you are - keep seeing her. Seems she enjoys your company, too. After a bit, you might try tossing in one of those sorts of 'you're so much more (insert characteristic you admire) than most women I've met' type of comments to let her know you're starting to think she's something special. If she glows and/or returns a compliment, you'll know you're on the same path. And good luck with it! Link to post Share on other sites
Author amerikajin Posted June 16, 2004 Author Share Posted June 16, 2004 I never thought that friendship necessarily led to anything special because I've always thought that once you get put in the "friends" category, it's hard to get out. Oh well, I'll see where it leads. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted June 16, 2004 Share Posted June 16, 2004 What you want in a spouse is a best friend. There is nothing whatsoever wrong, bad, or unlovable about a friend. Someone recently posted a stat that a large number of marriages take place between people who started out as friends. The reference wasn't given, but friendship is the best component of a relationship. I don't know if you ever read these links about romantic versus companionate love. Have a boo now. You may still be looking for 'romantic' love. Take it from me, the other is much, MUCH better. http://www.relationshipsandlove.com/FreeStuff/WhatIsThisThing.htm http://www.relationshipsandlove.com/goodstuff2.htm Link to post Share on other sites
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