4 Month NC, DUNNO what to make of this

[hooliganization]

The 5 year relationship I had with my ex ended 5 months ago. Overall it was a great relationship, what happened was that he got bored (his exact words were complacent). The last year he was a Free Loader... started to make friends. He was possesive and would get upset when I'd go out with friends...so my stupid ass decided to stop. Then when it ended my world came crumbling down.

 

That's not the point sorry. My other posts will explain better. Pretty much I thought I was over him. I met this guy and he is great... I'd been dating for awhile and wasn't over my ex...didn't want a boyfriend. Then this guy came along and I really liked him. He really got me interested. We updated our FB status relationship and I noticed my ex BLOCKED ME! He'd tried contacting me through this dummy account of an inside joke we had at the beginning of this year, but I hadn't spoken to him in 4 months. Now that I finally decided I was over him.. I decided to finally go see him to get my stuff. My friend recommended I get it now before he got rid of it, since he'd blocked me as a friend.

 

Is he upset that I seemed to have moved on? My friend says he's hurt. I went to get my stuff Friday night randomly. I seriously forgot my ex's phone number so I just showed up at his house. His parents were more than friendly, I actually felt comfortable (unlike when we were dating). His mom said that he did miss me, she could tell... and that I'm guessing the night he broke up with me, he had been crying..but didn't want to talk about it.

 

When he showed up he seemed happy to see me. We hugged. We talked. I was there for my stuff, my friends and family advised me to get it because it wouldn't be there long. He assured me "I would NEVER get rid of your stuff," I went with him to get dogfood... before I got my stuff. It wasn't as ackward as I'd imagined it would be. I only got the simple stuff, we lived together so I left the big stuff ...since It had taken longer than I had intended, and I had a date with my current boyfriend.

 

He kept apologizing..."I'm sorry" and called my by my pet name. I just told him to forget it..."I'm over it." Then as I was leaving his house.. the sun was setting.. it looked like he was teary eyed...holding back the tears. He tells me "Don't date idiots"... I tell him "I know better, you should know that."

 

Now I'm left with nothing but questions. I can't get him out of my head. I guess I truely am not over him? I don't know. I'd like to try to be friends. I do miss him. He was my best friend.

 

We will run into each other again for this meetup group. I don't know whether to contact him before to get my stuff.. to try to patch things up.. make it clear that I would like to perhaps be friends... or should I just show up at that group meeting with my current BF and quite possibly his (+1). I don't know wether I should ignore him or not. I want him to miss me, I suspect it was GIGS. I want to ignore him because I want him to feel like he's missing out... too bad. But inside I would like to be friends. He was a big part of my life. I was contemplating ending it myself... I just couldn't bring myself too. In the end really there wasn't much physical stuff. It was more like a frienship anyways. I don't know. It just hurt that he did it. He did it because he liked another girl too.

 

Please.. what do you all thing? I'd like some advice. I'm in emotional turmoil right now. I told myself I wouldn't go back with him. I think I want to though, I do miss him. I am confused. Maybe as a friend? I don't know how he feels.

 

Beside the point, what should I do as of now?

[EmergenC]

You certainly don't sound over it either, that's for sure.

 

The question is, if you're truly "done" with things. Why do you want him to miss you ? What do you have to gain from that ?

 

I think you need to figure out what you want yourself deep inside before acting any further. It's never nice stringing two people along and if you end up going down that path you'll regret it in the longrun. Remember your own actions, you have to live with those for the rest of your life.

 

I'd suggest perhaps keeping things cool with the ex and contact to a bare minimum while you explore your feelings with the new guy. At least at this point, you're involved with him & not with your ex, so don't swing the other way until you're totally sure!

Edited April 11, 2012 by EmergenC