!!!!

[zipper]

so my boyfriend and i have been dating for just over a couple years now, and about a year and a half ago his two male roommates decided to move out of their place and move in to new places with different people. my boyfriend could not find anyone to move in with then, and from what i understand, ran into an old female friend looking for a place, and they decided to move in together. what has really bothered me about this situation is firstly, i am not too fond of the girl, she has a boyfriend and i don't see her too much but she texts my boyfriend from time to time saying things like "movie date tonight" and things like that. she also happens to be best friends with a girl my boyfriend used to hook up with, and has done a number of bizzare things such as put a picture of this past girl her in my boyfriends bed. she has never been very welcoming to me, and is very loud and attention seeking while i am more shy. The main thing that has drawn me here is anytime my boyfriend sees me interacting with a male friend, or planning events with a male friend, i hear about it later, he gets slightly mad and jealous , and it has really put a strain on my relationships with my male friends. lately i have been bring up how him living with this girl bothers me, it has even caused us to get into some heated fights, he says things like: 'i will not let your jealousy of her affect our friendship', yet while he is going on these random movie dates with his roommate, anytime i talk to a friend it's 'flirting' or 'he just wants something from me'. am just being jealous, and should learn to accept this friendship or do i have legitimate reason to be upset and feel uncomfortable in this situation? feedback/advice would be great please!

[dasein]

Of course you have reason to feel uncomfortable! It's possible to understand him taking in a female friend as a roommate to help pay the rent, but the "movie dates" and stuff with his ex who is friends with the roommate are WAY out of bounds. You are patient to put up with any of it. Would he be fine with you going out to see movies with male friends who referred to it as a date? Of course he wouldn't. Nor would he be happy with some guy giving you pictures of an ex he was friends with, that's just weird.

 

You would be reasonable in either breaking up or giving an ultimatum in this situation, whether you are annoyed enough to do that and bring the relationship into jeopardy only you can decide though. Good luck.