Are mummy's boys a common occurrence, or is it just me?

[staticline]

I am 24 and I have had 4 serious relationships, 3 of which have been with classic mummy's boys, though each a different variation on the type. Despite being burned each time and actively seeking something different in my next partner, eventually the same underlying pattern always seems to emerge.

 

I have been with my boyfriend for three years now, and within the last year it has become very clear to me that he is overly attached to his family. He is now 26 and has never considered moving out despite having a well paid job. He has a lot more interest in worrying about and fussing over his mum than he does in building a relationship or future with me. If we spend much time together his family get catty with me and they have really been quite mean with me. His family place a lot of demands on his time and he willingly prioritizes everything and everyone before me. If he is with me and his mother calls him asking for help with something, no matter how trivial, he will cancel our plans on the spot and return home, paying absolutely no mind to my feelings.

 

He seems to resent having to reserve any time and energy for us as a couple, and he spends more and more of that time talking about his mum. Ultimately, the relationship has not progressed as I had hoped since I can't (and I'm not willing to try to) compete with the other woman in his life, who dotes on him and waits on him hand and foot. We can't even seem to discuss our problems because of course at the slightest hint of conflict or criticism, he walks out of the door and returns to mum for affirmation, leaving me out in the cold.

 

This week my boyfriend called to tell me that he'd given his share of the money we'd been saving for a house deposit (which was quite a large sum of money by now) to his mum since she had decided she wanted to move house. Although both of his parents work and had been okayed for a substantial mortgage as well as owning a home to sell, this would save them quite a bit in interest fees as well as helping them out, he informed me. We'd have to set our plans back another year so that he could continue to save, of course, and "we'll have to settle for something a lot smaller.. maybe not be so fussy about the area."

 

I now plan to leave my boyfriend since I'm finally ready to accept that I will always be his last priority. This experience has left me wondering, though.. how typical is this scenario? Are there a lot of these types of men about? Have I just been unlucky, or am I doing something to attract this particular type of man?

 

I'm eager to figure this out in moving on because, well, I'd like to settle and be happy with someone one day, and.. "if you don't like the fish you're catching, you've got to change the bait".

[Mr Scorpio]

I'm eager to figure this out in moving on because, well, I'd like to settle and be happy with someone one day, and.. "if you don't like the fish you're catching, you've got to change the bait".

 

In this economy there are plenty of 20-somethings still living at home with their parents. But that doesn't explain your soon-to-be ex, as you claim he has a good-paying job. I'm tempted to say you've simply had bad luck. Most guys that age would put their GF ahead of their mommy.