Tips for younger generation before marriage?

[bentnotbroken]

I wouldn't be asking people on this forum. Most of them have experienced a failed marriage..that is why they are here. Go to a website that centers around long term successful marriages and ask them.

 

 

There is an old saying..... We enjoy our successes, we learn from our failures.

[zengirl]

True to some degree but then those of us who have been in failed marriages or experienced cheating spouses can also tell you what mistakes NOT to make. Wise people learn from their mistakes and move on to better decision making.

 

So true. Sadly, as Douglas Adams said,

 

"Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so." — Douglas Adams

[musemaj11]

Marriage is a bad business move. Dont do it.

 

But if you have to do it, treat marriage as what it really is, a business agreement.

 

Dont judge the worth of a woman solely by her beauty and youth because those things are depreciating assets. You can date such a woman but never marry her. Take her education level and financial value into account as well.

[Pyro]

don't rush into it............. (unless it is absolutely necessary)

 

Take your time to get to know the person and make sure that it is someone you can see yourself growing old with.

[standtall]

True to some degree but then those of us who have been in failed marriages or experienced cheating spouses can also tell you what mistakes NOT to make. Wise people learn from their mistakes and move on to better decision making.

 

I do not speak in absolutes about human behavior. The OP asked my opinion...I gave it. Everyone's opinion here is true to some degree..it escapes me why you had to point that out with my post.

 

If I was a young person getting married, I would rather discuss marriage with people that have been happily married for 40, 50, and 60+ years and have GOD based marriage any day, than with people that have been married 2 or 3 times, cheated on their spouses, or are miserable. Some of the BS's here have good tips to offer as well since their situation is not their fault, but I would be cautious since some of them have a jaded opinion about commitment due to their experience.

Edited April 12, 2012 by standtall

[bentnotbroken]

I do not speak in absolutes about human behavior. The OP asked my opinion...I gave it. Everyone's opinion here is true to some degree..it escapes me why you had to point that out with my post.

 

If I was a young person getting married, I would rather discuss marriage with people that have been happily married for 40, 50, and 60+ years and have GOD based marriage any day, than with people that have been married 2 or 3 times, cheated on their spouses, or are miserable. Some of the BS's here have good tips to offer as well since their situation is not their fault, but I would be cautious since some of them have a jaded opinion about commitment due to their experience.

 

 

I am for the covenant marriage. I believe that is the only way to have a truly successful marriage. I realize many others do not feel that way...and that is okay. I guess my issue with the assumption that the 40 or more years were/are happy. Successful in length, very much so. I use my own parents as an example. They really did the "till death did them part". I am not so sure the majority of their marriage was that good or happy....oh but those last 10 years or so . Mr. Messy and I had been married more than 20 years. I thought it was based on God too(boy was I an idiot:p)..just that looks sometimes aren't all they appear to be. Just make sure that all the angles of marriage or thoroughly explored and you begin evenly yoked.

[Eve]

Reading some of the threads on this section are quite interesting.

 

I have a question, more of a general question for married partners here, what would you advise someone who is younger, in terms of marriage, the waiting period, finding the right person, what to expect, etc.

 

Just some general advice for someone who is interested in learning.

 

-FC

 

. Keep seeing friends and going out without each other.

. Support each other with careers and money goals.

. Stay at home as long as is relevant in order to make sure you have support. (Young couples)

. Marry once you have truly met your match. Don't wait and test out disillusionment.

. Expect to fallout and that there may come a time when you actually regret marrying the other person. Usually these phases pass and something will be learned if you both hold fast to your faith and not be unfaithful to each other.

. Don't have negative friendships.

. Travel together prior to getting married and keep this practice active.

. Make sure you are both on the same page about having children etc and agree on an emergency plan in case things start to go wrong; counselling/who to turn to.

. Agree on dealbreakers and stick to them.

. Know each others life goals inside out and support each other with these goals.

. Exercise together and share any concerns you may have about your body/your partners body.

. Feel each other up a lot.

. Have special making love spots.

. Know what food your partner loves and be interested in ensuring they have these foods.

. Bathe your partner with nice bath products.

. Tell each other when you are not happy and do not let anyone into your marriage but a Counsellor if need be. Keep family out of personal stuff.

. Develop and support a great morning and evening routine which positively involves/acknowledges your partner.

. Keep creative and plan regular things to look forward to/get aways.. especially if you are low on money.

. Know each others weaknesses. Be supportive but have clear boundaries.

. Have more special places to make love.

. Watch films together and keep improving on back rubbing/massage skills.

. Be honest with each other and don't hold back if your partner has been pissing you off. Clear the air before bed.

 

Take care,

Eve x

Edited April 13, 2012 by Eve