Taking forever to text back = games?

[starla33]

I'm a girl. If a guy takes 9-24 hours to get back to me I assume he is playing games or not very interested. What do you think? Am I weird for having that as a deal breaker?

[NeverDated]

I'm a girl. If a guy takes 9-24 hours to get back to me I assume he is playing games or not very interested. What do you think? Am I weird for having that as a deal breaker?

Can you verify that he's the type of person who texts? There are lots of reasons for not responding in what you consider a timely fashion that aren't games.

 

Are the responses reasonable and cordial?

[wwwjd]

hahahahahaha "Texting". yet ANOTHER layer of communications to fail on between men and women. Nobody sees the problems with texting yet?

[oaks]

I doubt that he's playing games, but not being interested could explain it.

[mesmerized]

YES! If a guy is always replying late, he is trying to tell you he is not all that into you. Occasional late replying is fine.

[Andy_K]

Sounds fine to me, but might depend on what sort of hours he works.

[Imajerk17]

No. I sometimes take a while to text back. I'm not welded to my phone you know.

 

You women and your crazy rules...

[rocketman122]

YES! If a guy is always replying late, he is trying to tell you he is not all that into you. Occasional late replying is fine.

 

Agree. My GF is a VP at a hitech company and she has meetings daily and im always patient and she gets back to me when she's free. but figure worst case scenario a person was busy for 3-4 hours and then comes to see who called will definitely see your message.

 

So yes, either games, or not interested. dont you worry, he see's your text VERY well. its not like email. although I have to say that some sms ive sent to my GF never showed up on her phone and we get into fights about that. it happened the other day. every morning I send her an early good morning wake up sms, but she didnt receive it and sent me a "didnt hear from u, everything ok?" and I told her but she doesnt belive me even though I send her an sms EVERY morning and every night as well.

 

I know when my GF is mad at me she purposely takes longer to reply and I teased her about it and she smiled acknowledging that. I dont play those stupid games.

 

any woman I started to date played that BS with me, I just dont call, sms or nothing.. I walk away. I tell them my rules from the beginning. no playing stupid dating games. zero tolerance. I tell them "I like you and were good to go" so they dont wonder and get mixed signals. but no games please.

[Emilia]

I'm a girl. If a guy takes 9-24 hours to get back to me I assume he is playing games or not very interested. What do you think? Am I weird for having that as a deal breaker?

 

You have to look at behaviour longer term. If he starts delaying response and you don't think there is a good reason for that (work, phone problems, etc) then you may have a problem there.

[veggirl]

Does he initiate contact and ask you out? Or are you doing all the work? Does he call, or are you guys just exchanging a text a day?

[starla33]

Does he initiate contact and ask you out? Or are you doing all the work? Does he call, or are you guys just exchanging a text a day?

 

Call? HAHA hilarious. No guy I know calls these days unfortunately. I met this guy a few weeks ago and we have yet to hang out, so I guess I don't know how he would be in the long run, but I don't know that I would want to find out as this type of behavior quickly kills the interest I had in him.

[starla33]

Can you verify that he's the type of person who texts? There are lots of reasons for not responding in what you consider a timely fashion that aren't games.

 

Are the responses reasonable and cordial?

 

Obviously as he started texting me after he got my phone number letting me know he wants to see me again....but um 24 hours to respond to a text...yeah unfortunately that doesn't work for me especially in the initial stages. I have standards I guess.

[Emilia]

Call? HAHA hilarious. No guy I know calls these days unfortunately. I met this guy a few weeks ago and we have yet to hang out, so I guess I don't know how he would be in the long run, but I don't know that I would want to find out as this type of behavior quickly kills the interest I had in him.

 

Why are you still talking to him if it hasn't happened yet? If you are playing the male part and approach men, you also have to copy their attitude as well. You need to move on when the quarry isn't interested/active enough.

[starla33]

No. I sometimes take a while to text back. I'm not welded to my phone you know.

 

You women and your crazy rules...

 

Alright what excuse do you have if it takes 9-24 hours? I'm just wondering?

 

I don't think it is a crazy rule at all as it takes like 1 minute to text someone back and the phone is right there on your desk or in your pocket.

[starla33]

Why are you still talking to him if it hasn't happened yet? If you are playing the male part and approach men, you also have to copy their attitude as well. You need to move on when the quarry isn't interested/active enough.

 

I'm not really playing the male part as hes the one that said he wants to hang out. Just hasn't made a plan

[Emilia]

I'm not really playing the male part as hes the one that said he wants to hang out. Just hasn't made a plan

 

Who approached whom first? How did you meet?

[starla33]

Who approached whom first? How did you meet?

 

He did and he got my phone number! We met at an after work event group thing.

[rocketman122]

but um 24 hours to respond to a text...yeah unfortunately that doesn't work for me especially in the initial stages. I have standards I guess.

 

 

I agree, way too long for a text back. youre more lenient than me. I give 6 hours then I move on. but I give 1 chance and expect some reason why, otherwise I move on. if its like this from the beginning it will only cause more issues later on. if the other person doesnt like texting then a phone call is a substitute and the person can say they dont like texts. I have yet to meet a girl that doesnt use texts regularly though, with friends or anyone. I myself prefer phone calls mostly. problem with texting is there are misunderstandings at times because you cant convey emotions properly with them.

[starla33]

I agree, way too long for a text back. youre more lenient than me. I give 6 hours then I move on. but I give 1 chance and expect some reason why, otherwise I move on. if its like this from the beginning it will only cause more issues later on. if the other person doesnt like texting then a phone call is a substitute and the person can say they dont like texts. I have yet to meet a girl that doesnt use texts regularly though, with friends or anyone. I myself prefer phone calls mostly. problem with texting is there are misunderstandings at times because you cant convey emotions properly with them.

 

Yep agreed. I know this guy has a demanding job...and I guess maybe that means he doesn't have time for dating. I'm really not interested in wasting my time as I have tons of other options. I liked this one, but oh well!

[dasein]

I don't reply to texts at all unless specific information or question is asked, certainly not to new dating prospects.

 

Lots of men still use the phone. I got sucked up in texting 5 years ago and after getting 900 in a month from the GF then, decided it wasn't all that "cute n fun" to waste so much time and clutter my head so, and to be avoided as a communication tool other than in very specific uses such as sending a specific piece of information.

 

But these days "wats up?" "how r u?" texts are instantly deleted from my inbox with no reply at all and not a second thought, no matter where they come from.

[Emilia]

He did and he got my phone number! We met at an after work event group thing.

 

If a man approaches me for my number and we don't have a date within a week or so, I just move on. I assume that he does this to other women and he may have found someone else.

 

It would be the same if you approached him as well, he is basically a stranger you have never spent much time with. No reason to get hung up about it, just delete his number and don't contact him anymore. Don't work too hard on someone who isn't worth it.

[zengirl]

It's impossible to say without understanding the content of the texts or the context. Generally speaking, I expect a "same day" response from a text or one the next day, if it's sent late. If we'd just been texting a convo that was ongoing, I'd expect an immediate text or a brb or busy, call you later, or whatever, but not if I sent out out of the blue.

 

I take a long time to reply to non-emergency texts sent to me sometimes. It just means I'm busy doing something else or spending time with someone else or whatever. To me, texts are like emails or chat. Not that immediately urgent. Calls are more urgent. If someone really needs something, I assume they'll call -- though they may text an emergency message if I don't answer the call (in case I'm in a meeting, etc).

 

But if he isn't asking you out OR texting you back quickly OR giving other strong signs of interest, he isn't interested. Move on.

[rocketman122]

I don't reply to texts at all unless specific information or question is asked, certainly not to new dating prospects.

 

 

You are in the minority then. texting emailing FB tons of IM apps as well as whatsapp you can text for free. it takes only but 10-15 seconds to reply back. I can say that texting helps in keeping a great relationship as communication and sharing with your partner is the most important part of it. I dont think one needs to send 5-10 texts a day but 2-3 texts (usually one texting session) is fine and I love to flirt with my lady through texting and she loves it as well. phone calls can be left for the evening after work.

 

@starla yes, find other men who will give you the attention you deserve. life is too short and way to many woman/men to choose from to compromise. communication is the basics of a good relationship.

[counterman]

I hate texting when it comes to dating. I've dated a few teenage girls who felt the need to play games. One girl actually thought it was alright to reply to me 6 days later as though nothing was wrong!

 

I don't think he's interested. I don't always have my phone with me, but I usually reply almost as soon as I see the text. I know a lot of people wait a certain amount of time to make it appear that their busy, or to not appear to eager, though. But 9 - 24 hours? Doesn't seem he's that interested. Or maybe he's playing games. Either way, don't waste your time wondering. He would have asked you out by now if he was interested.

 

Why don't people call anymore? The last dozen or so girls I've met all prefer texting, granted they are between 18 and 20 years old.

[starla33]

It's impossible to say without understanding the content of the texts or the context. Generally speaking, I expect a "same day" response from a text or one the next day, if it's sent late. If we'd just been texting a convo that was ongoing, I'd expect an immediate text or a brb or busy, call you later, or whatever, but not if I sent out out of the blue.

 

I take a long time to reply to non-emergency texts sent to me sometimes. It just means I'm busy doing something else or spending time with someone else or whatever. To me, texts are like emails or chat. Not that immediately urgent. Calls are more urgent. If someone really needs something, I assume they'll call -- though they may text an emergency message if I don't answer the call (in case I'm in a meeting, etc).

 

But if he isn't asking you out OR texting you back quickly OR giving other strong signs of interest, he isn't interested. Move on.

 

He keeps hinting at hanging out but is not actually making plans. I have 0 interest left! Silly man, he must not know that I go on at least 1-2 dates a week.