krissy1989f Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 So recently I've been doing alot of thinking about my "love life" I'm currently 22 years old...I will be 23 in less than a month....I was thinking about the fact that I have never had a "healthy" relationship. I've always settled for less than i deserve. The closest to healthy I came to was the last guy I was talking to only because he didnt treat me like crap...but he did not want a commitment and kept me stringing along for 6 months until I finally gave up. My idea is to try to be single for about a year and really find myself and love myself so that I will stop degrading myself when it comes to men....does this sound crazy? I am lonely but I know I need to stay away from men until I can honestly say I'm happy alone and love myself...does anyone have any advice on how to get to that point? Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted April 11, 2012 Share Posted April 11, 2012 No, that doesn't sound crazy at all. I think it's a great goal to 'find yourself' and learning to love yourself (again), especially when you're young and/or you come to a crossroads in your life. I know that for some, having that one special person with whom you connect seems like the ultimate goal in personal happiness but sometimes we must still go through periods where we are 'alone' without that special someone. In these times, it's worth embracing the freedom and independence that not being accountable to a partner brings. And there are many other people in the world with whom you can connect. Just have to reach out and put yourself out there. I'm a planner so if you are also a planner, I suggest writing down everything you want to do this year. Do your research, set your budget, sign up and start doing. Some examples: improve your diet, learn a language, learn a skill, take up a sport, travel, take up a hobby, fix up your living space, get a qualification, etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Exit Posted April 12, 2012 Share Posted April 12, 2012 Doesn't sound crazy at all, I applaud anyone in this current society who sees the value to spending some time being single instead of hopping from one relationship to another. I think I am on a similar journey, I have a feeling I am going to be single for a while because there is a lot in my life that needs to be figured out. I think the relationship we have with ourselves can get neglected so easily in this world full of distractions. Learning to know and love yourself sounds like a worthwhile endeavor. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mack05 Posted April 12, 2012 Share Posted April 12, 2012 Doesn't sound crazy at all, I applaud anyone in this current society who sees the value to spending some time being single instead of hopping from one relationship to another. I think I am on a similar journey, I have a feeling I am going to be single for a while because there is a lot in my life that needs to be figured out. I think the relationship we have with ourselves can get neglected so easily in this world full of distractions. Learning to know and love yourself sounds like a worthwhile endeavor. Exit I am doing the same and it's something I am so proud of. I still have a broken heart and struggle with it daily. I am NC 7 weeks now. When I first moved to a new country, I met a girl from where I am orginally from. She is the bar manager of the most popular bar in my new resort and is taking a year off her stressful career. Anyway we quickly formed a friendship. We naturally clicked so well and it seemed just a friendship, as I am 12 years older then her. We would randomly bump into each other and have a drink or a bite to eat. Then we would work out together 3 days a week. I just viewed her as a friend and it seemed she was the same. Just two people in a new place trying to settle in. She has everything I would look for in a girl. Natural beauty, great fun, classy, smart, elegant etc etc. Last weekend her friends and my friends were out on a big night. She asked me out on a date. I was so flattered. The old me would have said yes. But I told her I couldn't. I asked her did she want an explanation behind that and she said yes. I told her another girl (my ex) still has my heart and I have no idea who long it will be before that is not the case. I also explained to her that low self esteem and insecurities effected my last relationships and I wanted to be very sure I had resolved these issues before embarking on a new relationship. Now I know the deal. She asked the confident guy she got to know over the past 2 months on a date. So the fact I was very honest and showed my weaknesses so early, means I probably have ruined any chance of a date later in the future. Plus the fact she is a beautiful 24 year old in one of the most popular resorts in Europe, means she won't be lacking potential suitors. BUT I don't regret what I did. It's about being honest with myself and with her (something I wasn't in my past). Being single, I never viewed before as a voyage of self discovery. It's a journey, I will take my time over. I love my ex. I can't just turn it off like a light switch and I certainly won't use another girl to help me turn it off. I made a promise to myself the next time I look to get into a relationship that I will be happy, emotionally mature and healthy and ready in every way I can be to fully commit to someone. Anything less then that I am letting her down and more importantly letting myself down. I feel this way of doing things is the best chance I give myself of finding a girl that I am truly compatible with. A relationship that is smooth and just works with little effort. A relationship where we just 'get' each other. Hopefully I will get that one day after I complete my journey. I wish it took me a lot sooner then 36 to become so self aware, but I am determined to look forward and not back.. Best of luck to you OP and you too Exit. I will be especially rooting for you.. Link to post Share on other sites
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