The Anti-GIGS Thread - IRRELEVANCY EXPLAINED!!!!!

[xenomorph]

This is the least helpful thread ever.

[gibson]

I know one I.T.T.S.O.A.C.S.B.I.C.S.I.U.C.S (I try to shout over a computer screen but I cant so I use caps)

 

Okay, Let's see you are the one allowing your Ex to treat like a whipping boy to the point where you had to be hospitalized... Not me.

 

After all your Ex has said and done, after more than a yea... you have finally managed NC for 40 something days..

 

Point out one post where I have asked one question about my Ex, my situation, what I should, what i shouldn't do, etc. I have 2,000+ posts between Gibson and hombrew I bet. The only time I have ECM mentioned my Ex is when I am using my situation as an example.

 

Also, for someone who doesn't believe in GIGS all of a sudden... Care to explain why your Ex is doing / has done exactly what i told you she would do almost down to every little detail and the timeframe?

 

Yeah... I'm the girly man here

 

Instead of just attacking me, why not all the other posters who said you were being a chump?

 

Don't get mad at me because I have the ability and the stones to have my ex back if I wanted too. If you would do what I any many other posters suggested, you would have my kind of success too.

Edited April 29, 2012 by gibson

[fetish1980]

I agree with G.I.G.S as a helpful healing tool to a certain degree, but in my experience, it kind of serves as a scapegoat to excuse the ex's behavior, so the op and i are in agreement on that.

 

Now lalalandman, the part i question is the fact that you say something is missing as to a reason they leave. While I'm not one who thinks that one person is to blame for a breakup, i do think there's cases where one person is more to blame for the demise than the other. What if one person just completely gives up, has a personality disorder to where they could never be happy, emotionally inmature, overly selfish and it eventually takes most of the toll on the relationship.

 

point case scenario:

 

A woman complains that her man doesn't make enough money. The man does all he can, submitting new job applications, going on interviews, and still facing many "no"s before getting the inevitable yes. Woman gets impatient and runs off with a richer guy.

 

What's missing out of here? Money... and obviously real love.

What's evident here? Greed and selfishness.

 

Is that really the man's fault because his woman obviously loves money more than him? I don't think so. Just like its not his fault that he hasn't gotten hired to a promotion. He can only do so much as far but he can't make someone hire him.

 

I wouldn't call GIGS completely irrelevant because whether we like it or not, it's a very strong factor in all of mankind, not just in relationships, but in other life aspects. We tend to want what we don't have. Although it shouldn't be used as a copout either. A person has to have some sense of self control. How a person handles temptation is actually what determines whether their relationship will be a success or a failure.

 

fetish

[lalalandman]

This is simply a moot subject. Sort of wish I didn't even start this thread. Put simply, when it's over, it's over. The only "Phase" that should matter is your path to acceptance. This is something that GIGS does not offer.

[Mr Scorpio]

Wow. I didn't realize there was so much animosity on this site over a silly label. Does "GIGS" exist as some psycho-analytic theory with various stages that can prescribed? Probably not.

 

Personally, did I spend years single wishing that I had a 'special someone' to share moments with -- only to find myself in a relationship wishing that I had a weekend to myself to hang out with 'the fellas' drinking beer and playing x-box without having to worry about my GF's happiness -- only to find myself dumped and wishing that I was 'stuck' back on the couch watching American Idol?

 

Yes. And to my mind, that encapsulates the entirety of GIGS. Anything else is just psycho-babble IMO.

[smokey bear]

I have to say, when I was 17 - 18. I'd been with my High School sweet-heart for about 2 years.

 

She never put a foot wrong and loved me with all of her heart.

 

For 3 or so months before we broke up I already had thoughts I couldn't supress running around my mind. I wanted out and it was growing every day. No reason, I just did. Looking back, I don't even know why I wanted out. There was no reason, in my case, there wasn't even another girl on the scene.

 

I didn't say a word to her about what I was thinking or feeling, to all intents and purposes she probably thought everything was beautiful. I wasn't sure how to end things, so I just sat and waited. One morning I had a lesson cancelled so I went to look my girlfriend. I found her chatting innocently with a group of guys and that was it, that was all I needed. One tiny bit of jealousy was enough of a catalyst for me to use it as "a reason". She looked at me walking down the hallway, caught my eye. I shook my head and her expression dropped. I turned around and started walking away. She knew what I was doing. She was crying her eyes out and I kept walking. I didn't have anything to say to her, had no consideration for what she was feeling or any respect for the years and memories we had shared. I was single minded. I didn't know what I was thinking, there were no reasons I could offer up I just kept walking.

 

2 or 3 weeks later after all the guys were showing interest I got jealous and wanted her back. Had she been on a forum like this, i'm sure people could have offered her good advice on how to handle a guy like me. Instead, she took me straight back. We had sex, spent the day together and almost immediately my feelings changed back to wanting to be single again. I had my cake, I was eating it. She asked me there and then with tears in her eyes again, "what do you want ? Today was like falling in love with you all over again." I didn't know what I wanted, so again I walked. That was the end.

 

Had things like social networking/facebook etc etc existed I may have tracked her down several years later. On occasions over the years I would think of her from time to time. All I knew was her home number, I would never have the balls to ring that. Had we somehow found a way to get back in touch, things may have been different.

 

10 odd years on, am I anything like the guy I was back then ? Absolutely not, I haven't been since about the age of 23. In retrospect, my personality has been pretty rocksteady since then. But before that I was just a swirling mix of opposing thoughts and changing minds.

 

*I guess what i'm saying is from my own point of view, call it GIGS call it growing up, call it what you like. It is a very real, confusing process that a lot of people go through. I'm sure we all have in some way shape or form. Maybe relationships werent caught in the crossfire, but we all go through this weird conflicting metamorphosis around these years 18 - 25. I think the reason GIGS is getting so much stick is because the one thing everyone, EVERYONE wants after a breakup is a REASON. Something concrete, something to hold onto. Because the nature of GIGS is one that also offers up some hope and wipes the dumpee of blame to a degree. I think perhaps too many people who more than likely don't fall under the category truly, latch onto it. It's perfect... you can sleep at night, you have your reason... it's not you, it's him/her, they're going through a phase, give it a few years they'll be back. It's almost like a quick fix to your broken heart. Which is partly why I think it's getting stick, because A LOT of people latch onto it on these forums. I don't see too much wrong with that. Whatever gets people to sleep at night... to find their appetites returning... to give them some piece of mind... to get them through those first couple of really crappy weeks/months until the healing can begin and they can look back at things with a bit more clarity and balance. I don't think there's anything wrong with that.*

 

 

Fantastic thread that has truly came from the heart, true gigs leaves a scar, empathy is sometimes not a good emotion.

 

xx

[69ways]

Okay, Let's see you are the one allowing your Ex to treat like a whipping boy to the point where you had to be hospitalized... Not me.

 

After all your Ex has said and done, after more than a yea... you have finally managed NC for 40 something days..

 

Point out one post where I have asked one question about my Ex, my situation, what I should, what i shouldn't do, etc. I have 2,000+ posts between Gibson and hombrew I bet. The only time I have ECM mentioned my Ex is when I am using my situation as an example.

 

Also, for someone who doesn't believe in GIGS all of a sudden... Care to explain why your Ex is doing / has done exactly what i told you she would do almost down to every little detail and the timeframe?

 

Yeah... I'm the girly man here

 

Instead of just attacking me, why not all the other posters who said you were being a chump?

 

Don't get mad at me because I have the ability and the stones to have my ex back if I wanted too. If you would do what I any many other posters suggested, you would have my kind of success too.

 

 

 

I am attacking you?again on the LSD m8?Told you stay off it, you just cant handle people not agreeing with you.

 

Just look at any response you wrote, you come here with your own , undocumented psychological theories and expect all of us to agree.No ,sorry I dont. besides the above post shows that you are suffering from inner clashes as you try to get me pissed off and then ask me not to be.....

I actually managed 2,5 months of NC, if you want to put that down your diary , as you keep records of me and other users here...get a life bro.....

 

I love how you come back to my words :I got 2000 plus posts....so?

 

Does that make you the LS expert , the Messiah or just a delusional guy with no life or hobbies that has nothing better to do than judge people that had their heart broken instead of using your remaining pathetic time left on this earth to help this people and do something good here.

 

Who are you to judge my psychological and physiological response to my break up? You are not Freud, even of you have developed more theory models than him and Einstein put together.

 

You said you are not here for your ex?

 

Strange......

 

So why are you here?

 

Are you some Apostle reincarnated or you just are so nice that you decided to help people here?

 

No you are neither, you are just a sad guy , full of arrogance that found a way to be important by throwing these theories to any relationship that crosses your path on the forum and I feel sorry for anyone who goes against you.

 

Some of your posts are good but dont apply to any situation.

 

Yes you are the man, ladies and gentlemen , an applause for the guy that has 2000 plus posts on a relationship forum and spoke about his ex once

 

 

Really man, you should do some brain storming here....

[melenkurion]

It's not a DISEASE or a DISORDER and nobody has every said it was.

 

 

I think the issue is the "syndrome" part of the phrase, which is usually associated in people's minds with diseases, medical conditions, disorders and the like. Historically, a syndrome is often posited as a collection of symptoms that cluster together, and are presumed to have a common cause. If the cause of the syndrome has been discovered the syndrome becomes a disease. Sometimes the syndrome sticks. AIDS was a mysterious syndrome for several years before HIV was identified as the cause. SARS is a more recent example.

 

I suppose the point I am making is that to get away from the association with disease, get rid of the word that is used in many diseases. Unconsciously, that is the association people might well be making when they hear "syndrome".

[69ways]

I think the issue is the "syndrome" part of the phrase, which is usually associated in people's minds with diseases, medical conditions, disorders and the like. Historically, a syndrome is often posited as a collection of symptoms that cluster together, and are presumed to have a common cause. If the cause of the syndrome has been discovered the syndrome becomes a disease. Sometimes the syndrome sticks. AIDS was a mysterious syndrome for several years before HIV was identified as the cause. SARS is a more recent example.

 

I suppose the point I am making is that to get away from the association with disease, get rid of the word that is used in many diseases. Unconsciously, that is the association people might well be making when they hear "syndrome".

 

To be able to call it a syndrome you need a documented study behind it.

 

If someone can show me a psychological study behind it , I will accept it.

 

I am not saying that GIGS not exist, my problem is the application of these theories to any break up that shows up in LS

[GaelicSoul]

To be able to call it a syndrome you need a documented study behind it.

 

If someone can show me a psychological study behind it , I will accept it.

 

I am not saying that GIGS not exist, my problem is the application of these theories to any break up that shows up in LS

 

 

My problem with this GIGS theory, is that it's too vague, and may give lots of people hope for a reconciliation that may never happen. This hope can indeed, and does delay true healing.

 

It can become addictive coming to these forums, hoping to find a perfect story that relates to your own issue. Some indeed are similar, however when you take all the variables into the equation, it's just not that simple

 

If you read the "theory", and that's all it is, like I did over 1 1/2 years ago, it gives a sense of "Ohhh so that's what she has" And it left me with a "hope" She might be going through this "Syndrome" and for a good while afterwards with the thought, someday she will come back, with her tail between her legs, and after when she goes through these phases I will have the upper hand....She didn't. She moved on, so did i. That's life. Some come back, some don't. Who cares.

 

People who come to LS looking for help/advice on their breakup's are in a VERY emotional state. We all have been hurt sometime. People look for answers, explanations, anything to make that pain somewhat bearable. I see it every time i come to the forum now posts like "Is my breakup GIGS?" "My GIGS Ex contacted me" " My GIGS Ex new BF has GIGS" "I think i have GIGS" "I cant believe it's not GIGS".. I don't think that's right. But that's my opinion.

 

I'm glad Gibson has posted 2000 posts. He took the time to help people, when they are in need of advice and comfort. Nothing wrong with that At the end of the day, we are all trying to help each other, I enjoy reading all new posts and theory's. As "they saying goes opinions are like aholes, everybody has one"

[69ways]

My problem with this GIGS theory, is that it's too vague, and may give lots of people hope for a reconciliation that may never happen. This hope can indeed, and does delay true healing.

 

It can become addictive coming to these forums, hoping to find a perfect story that relates to your own issue. Some indeed are similar, however when you take all the variables into the equation, it's just not that simple

 

If you read the "theory", and that's all it is, like I did over 1 1/2 years ago, it gives a sense of "Ohhh so that's what she has" And it left me with a "hope" She might be going through this "Syndrome" and for a good while afterwards with the thought, someday she will come back, with her tail between her legs, and after when she goes through these phases I will have the upper hand....She didn't. She moved on, so did i. That's life. Some come back, some don't. Who cares.

 

People who come to LS looking for help/advice on their breakup's are in a VERY emotional state. We all have been hurt sometime. People look for answers, explanations, anything to make that pain somewhat bearable. I see it every time i come to the forum now posts like "Is my breakup GIGS?" "My GIGS Ex contacted me" " My GIGS Ex new BF has GIGS" "I think i have GIGS" "I cant believe it's not GIGS".. I don't think that's right. But that's my opinion.

 

I'm glad Gibson has posted 2000 posts. He took the time to help people, when they are in need of advice and comfort. Nothing wrong with that At the end of the day, we are all trying to help each other, I enjoy reading all new posts and theory's. As "they saying goes opinions are like aholes, everybody has one"

 

Exactly my point, you cant go arguing with a person on a fragile state of emotions because he does not agree with GIGS.

 

I was criticised because my ex had a big effect on me and did not buy the GIGS idea.

 

We all have opinions and we all are allowed to speak it out and if someone does not agree, well tough luck...and not tell me I live in a fantasy world because I dont agree with GIGS or what other syndrome someone made up.

 

Relationshis involve the most complicated feelings two people have, you cant just develop your own shallow principle and just throw it here and there and expect people to just follow it.

 

GIGS gives people the wrong hope and the guideline....

 

She txt me....so?

 

Its GIGS they say, its this, its that....

 

No is not, the situation is not simple as one , two ,three....

 

Its complicated and it depends on each one character, previous experience, previous emotional scars and current state of mind......

 

 

But heh, that just my opinion

[wilsonx]

GIGS is a stupid person name for someone going through the process of becoming cognitively and emotionally mature.

 

There's a pattern to the behavior that homebrew/Gibson describes in his 5 threads on the topic as they pertain to (RELATIONSHIP/Behavior) side of things.

 

Half the people that post on this forum are going through GIGS including Lalalandman. His name is how I felt during my stay in GIGS. I felt like I was in lala land.

 

This thread and the title of it is his action plan for him trying to get out of gigs. He's trying to paint someone or himself black so that he can move forward and saying to himself GIGS doesnt exist. He's lying to himself essentially which will keep him in this holding pattern until he starts eating crow.

 

69ways, you are the emotionally immature one in your dilemma. I understand your ex perfectly whats shes saying to you how she feels. Her timeframes that shes using. You are continuing to paint your ex black because YOU don't understand and painting us SITE GURUS black.

 

Look at this thread. You attack the word Syndrome. If you would google the word Syndrome you would get the following definition

 

 

• a group of related or coincident things, events, actions, etc.
  
• the pattern of symptoms that characterize or indicate a particular social condition
  
• a predictable, characteristic pattern of behavior, action, etc., that tends to occur under certain circumstances:
  

 

 

Now go read the GIGS thread in my signature and see how many posts in that huge thread match the behavior patterns. If you continue to act like a child, she wont want you back.

 

 

Nope GIGS doesnt exist, it cant be because your egos wont be able to take it. Everyone that isnt immature and wants to grow up is crazy

Edited April 30, 2012 by wilsonx

[gibson]

GIGS gives people the wrong hope and the guideline....

 

So I am solely responsible for all the dumpees on here who are grabbing onto HOPE that their Ex is going to see the light, change and come back?

 

Since you do not believe in G.I.G.S. and do not listen to what I say... What is your excuse then?

 

Myself along with MANY others on here have been telling you to ignore the breadcrumbs, remain NC, heal and move on from your Ex for a long, long, time. Did you listen? No. Did I or anyone else tell you to have hope? No.

 

It's up to individuals to hold themselves personally responsible for what they want, their boundaries, their actions and how they allow people to treat them.

 

Are you are you talking to me or trying yourself?

 

If you truly believe what you just said above, how can you blame me for giving you and others false hope?

 

Point out one time that I have told someone to wait around and cling to hope alone for their Ex to return. Simple truth is, you can't. I have always told people to heal and move on from their Ex.

 

She txt me....so?

 

So why do you keep asking the question?

 

You just created your 5th or 6th thread a few days ago asking us why / what it means when your Ex contacts you.

 

Did you not like the 100+ or so answers you got in the last 5 or 6 threads about why your Ex has contacted you? Did any of us tell you she wanted you back? Did any of use tell you to read into it? Did any of us tell you to have hope? Did any of us make you respond?

[69ways]

So I am solely responsible for all the dumpees on here who are grabbing onto HOPE that their Ex is going to see the light, change and come back?

 

Since you do not believe in G.I.G.S. and do not listen to what I say... What is your excuse then?

 

Myself along with MANY others on here have been telling you to ignore the breadcrumbs, remain NC, heal and move on from your Ex for a long, long, time. Did you listen? No. Did I or anyone else tell you to have hope? No.

 

 

 

Are you are you talking to me or trying yourself?

 

If you truly believe what you just said above, how can you blame me for giving you and others false hope?

 

Point out one time that I have told someone to wait around and cling to hope alone for their Ex to return. Simple truth is, you can't. I have always told people to heal and move on from their Ex.

 

 

 

So why do you keep asking the question?

 

You just created your 5th or 6th thread a few days ago asking us why / what it means when your Ex contacts you.

 

Did you not like the 100+ or so answers you got in the last 5 or 6 threads about why your Ex has contacted you? Did any of us tell you she wanted you back? Did any of use tell you to read into it? Did any of us tell you to have hope? Did any of us make you respond?

 

 

Actually yes, Wilson did suggest that 2 months ago to respond to her calls as they were efforts to get back together according to him and he is a follower of you, actually he is the only user supporting you so much.......

 

Love the way you try to to present everything in your benefit.

Not bothered man honestly, no need to justify anything to you, no one blamed you about my situation but once more you prove to me that you are more strong minded than carrying about the good of users here.

 

You just perceive what ever you want as you want you and you are again try again to interrogate me regarding my actions.

 

Who do you really think you are here?

 

So dont write what you want and as you want to try and prove a point because it does not work with me anymore, go play God or whatever you want to be looked up to someone else , I aint biting......

[Gulf-Delta]

How I feel about GiGs is this:

 

As with any theory, be it atomic theory, aerodynamic theory, biological theory...whatever, you take the evidence presented, and form an opinion based on the observed facts. However, the theory could be wrong. You could be totally wrong about your ex going through GiGs. But for someone like me, I observed my ex's behavior and found the GiGs theory to be the most accurate explanation for it. GiGs is a theory, and should be viewed as such.

 

The problem comes when people, for better or worse, view the GiGs theory as fact, instead of what it is, which is a guide and an opinion/theory. GiGs is a logical explanation for what is occurring in another persons mind. And as someone on here pointed out, the heart and the mind do not follow logic.

 

So my view is thus: There are no set-in-stone guidelines or rules for going through a break up. There is no definitive answer to any of it. Things like No Contact, or GiGs or whatever...these are guides and ideas to help you cope. No two situations are alike, and no two people are alike. These theories people come up with here, can not be applied directly to every single situation. That's just impossible. What is best for everyone who reads guides on coping with breakups, GiGs, NC, or whatever, is to use the parts that apply to you. None of these things are set in stone, and only you know what you can handle and only you know the type of relationship you had and the other person. The human mind and the emotions of love and what goes along with it are incredibly complex, and cannot be solved or figured out with "Never think about this person again". The brain doesn't work like this, and neither does common courtesy towards other humans, nor does anything relating to love or a breakup. Only you know your circumstances, and using NC rules and GiGs rules as Bibles is only going to give you a headache and heartache, because you're running.

[Gulf-Delta]

Actually yes, Wilson did suggest that 2 months ago to respond to her calls as they were efforts to get back together according to him and he is a follower of you, actually he is the only user supporting you so much.......

 

And this is what I'm saying. Only you know the kind of person your ex is and only you know the circumstances of the relationship and breakup.

 

Therefore you can use NC as a guide and outside opinion, but in the end, only YOU fully know what you're dealing with. I would say don't answer your ex's calls, because it could lead down a road of false hope. But you know your ex better than anyone here, and you know the relationship better.

 

Only you can make a choice.

[69ways]

And this is what I'm saying. Only you know the kind of person your ex is and only you know the circumstances of the relationship and breakup.

 

Therefore you can use NC as a guide and outside opinion, but in the end, only YOU fully know what you're dealing with. I would say don't answer your ex's calls, because it could lead down a road of false hope. But you know your ex better than anyone here, and you know the relationship better.

 

Only you can make a choice.

 

I se this going towards my relationship again...tttsttst, are you going to account it as my thread now?

 

I thought we were discussing GIGS...........

[69ways]

How I feel about GiGs is this:

 

As with any theory, be it atomic theory, aerodynamic theory, biological theory...whatever, you take the evidence presented, and form an opinion based on the observed facts. However, the theory could be wrong. You could be totally wrong about your ex going through GiGs. But for someone like me, I observed my ex's behavior and found the GiGs theory to be the most accurate explanation for it. GiGs is a theory, and should be viewed as such.

 

The problem comes when people, for better or worse, view the GiGs theory as fact, instead of what it is, which is a guide and an opinion/theory. GiGs is a logical explanation for what is occurring in another persons mind. And as someone on here pointed out, the heart and the mind do not follow logic.

 

So my view is thus: There are no set-in-stone guidelines or rules for going through a break up. There is no definitive answer to any of it. Things like No Contact, or GiGs or whatever...these are guides and ideas to help you cope. No two situations are alike, and no two people are alike. These theories people come up with here, can not be applied directly to every single situation. That's just impossible. What is best for everyone who reads guides on coping with breakups, GiGs, NC, or whatever, is to use the parts that apply to you. None of these things are set in stone, and only you know what you can handle and only you know the type of relationship you had and the other person. The human mind and the emotions of love and what goes along with it are incredibly complex, and cannot be solved or figured out with "Never think about this person again". The brain doesn't work like this, and neither does common courtesy towards other humans, nor does anything relating to love or a breakup. Only you know your circumstances, and using NC rules and GiGs rules as Bibles is only going to give you a headache and heartache, because you're running.

 

I like this....

[Gulf-Delta]

I se this going towards my relationship again...tttsttst, are you going to account it as my thread now?

 

I thought we were discussing GIGS...........

 

No, I was just saying, you are the only one that know whats good for you based on your own circumstances. These guys are offering advice for ya, but based on what your situation is, some of their advice may not apply. That's what I'm saying.

[69ways]

No, I was just saying, you are the only one that know whats good for you based on your own circumstances. These guys are offering advice for ya, but based on what your situation is, some of their advice may not apply. That's what I'm saying.

 

I promise you, if you look at my threads, you will catch them contradicting themselves but I still appreciate the effort, even when some get offended because I dont like the fact they try to tell me its all my fault..........for something I did or not did but once more I agree with you

[gibson]

no one blamed you about my situation

 

Yeah you did. You stated in your last post that me posting about G.I.G.S. gives people false hope.

 

but once more you prove to me that you are more strong minded than carrying about the good of users here.

 

You have yet to point out where I have given someone bad advice or contradicted myself.

 

You just perceive what ever you want as you want you

 

No, I know what your Ex is doing and why. You are the one that is PROJECTING your HOPES, WISHES and DREAMS onto your Ex and reading into everything she does or doesn't do, not me.

 

Why would she do this?

 

14 months later she still cries wolf

 

I also broke NC but

 

Ex called ..... again

 

NC is good but what happens when she only trusts you

 

Is this an unexpected turn around?

 

Why she keeps calling me?

 

She said what?

 

what happens when you break up for the wrong reasons...

 

ex breaks contact after 40 days

 

do bipolar ex's return

 

found out ex fiance has new bf...rebound?

 

Ex called crying wtf

 

Why do dumpers keep contact

 

She broke NC

 

Based on the fact it was LDR for 4.5 years, based on the fact she kept the engagement ring you bought her, based on the fact she has been in a relationship and sleeping with someone else and just with the small sample of threads that you created above (there are a lot more)...

 

It's not hard to fill in the dots. Hell, many of us even colored it in for you.

 

Am I and everyone else on here perceiving the situation wrong or is it possible it might be you?

 

Just so you understand... You are the common denominator in your problem, not me or anyone else.

 

you are again try again to interrogate me regarding my actions.

 

You are the only one allowed to ask questions?

 

You ended up in a hospital and had to have surgery due to your lack of "coping" skills over your break up. Wouldn't I be remissed, not to question what you are or are not doing?

 

Considering you keep creating threads and asking the same questions over and over... I was just pointing out / asking you simple questions with the hope that you would turn all the focus, effort, energy and time that you have on your Ex... back to you.

 

Note: You still haven't answered any of my simple questions but I and many of the other people here have answered all of yours.

 

Who do you really think you are here

 

I'm no different than lalalandman, Kamila, flitzanu, Philosoraptor, Chi townD, Wilson, Art_Critic, Eddie Edirol, leoc1973, Tiera D, TaraMaiden, etc.

 

So dont write what you want and as you want to try and prove a point because it does not work with me anymore, go play God or whatever you want to be looked up to someone else , I aint biting......

 

Either stop asking questions you do not want the answers too or block me and anyone else who gives you "advice" or asks you questions that you do not like or want to answer.

 

Being the nice guy that I am, let me help you out. Start by bocking all the posters who responded in the threads you created above.

Edited April 30, 2012 by gibson

[gibson]

I promise you, if you look at my threads, you will catch them contradicting themselves but I still appreciate the effort, even when some get offended because I dont like the fact they try to tell me its all my fault..........for something I did or not did but once more I agree with you

 

For the Love of...

Edited May 1, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

[69ways]

Yeah you did. You stated in your last post that me posting about G.I.G.S. gives people false hope.

 

 

 

You have yet to point out where I have given someone bad advice or contradicted myself.

 

 

 

No, I know what your Ex is doing and why. You are the one that is PROJECTING your HOPES, WISHES and DREAMS onto your Ex and reading into everything she does or doesn't do, not me.

 

Why would she do this?

 

14 months later she still cries wolf

 

I also broke NC but

 

Ex called ..... again

 

NC is good but what happens when she only trusts you

 

Is this an unexpected turn around?

 

Why she keeps calling me?

 

She said what?

 

what happens when you break up for the wrong reasons...

 

ex breaks contact after 40 days

 

do bipolar ex's return

 

found out ex fiance has new bf...rebound?

 

Ex called crying wtf

 

Why do dumpers keep contact

 

She broke NC

 

Based on the fact it was LDR for 4.5 years, based on the fact she kept the engagement ring you bought her, based on the fact she has been in a relationship and sleeping with someone else and just with the small sample of threads that you created above (there are a lot more)...

 

It's not hard to fill in the dots. Hell, many of us even colored it in for you.

 

Am I and everyone else on here perceiving the situation wrong or is it possible it might be you?

 

Just so you understand... You are the common denominator in your problem, not me or anyone else.

 

 

 

You are the only one allowed to ask questions?

 

You ended up in a hospital and had to have surgery due to your lack of "coping" skills over your break up. Wouldn't I be remissed, not to question what you are or are not doing?

 

Considering you keep creating threads and asking the same questions over and over... I was just pointing out / asking you simple questions with the hope that you would turn all the focus, effort, energy and time that you have on your Ex... back to you.

 

Note: You still haven't answered any of my simple questions but I and many of the other people here have answered all of yours.

 

 

 

I'm no different than lalalandman, Kamila, flitzanu, Philosoraptor, Chi townD, Wilson, Art_Critic, Eddie Edirol, leoc1973, Tiera D, TaraMaiden, etc.

 

 

 

Either stop asking questions you do not want the answers too or block me and anyone else who gives you "advice" or asks you questions that you do not like or want to answer.

 

Being the nice guy that I am, let me help you out. Start by bocking all the posters who responded in the threads you created above.

 

Again , you just take what ou want and present it with you own way for your own benefit.

 

When I said it gives people the worng hope, I was agreeing with the post below:

Originally Posted by GaelicSoul

My problem with this GIGS theory, is that it's too vague, and may give lots of people hope for a reconciliation that may never happen. This hope can indeed, and does delay true healing.

 

Quote:

Originally Posted by 69ways

I promise you, if you look at my threads, you will catch them contradicting themselves but I still appreciate the effort, even when some get offended because I dont like the fact they try to tell me its all my fault..........for something I did or not did but once more I agree with you

 

Show me above where is your name indicated, unless you are on LSD and I know you are, I dont see anyones name there m8

 

 

 

Once more proven you are a person with no life and always trying to be right by manipulating threads and posts.

 

 

 

 

Who told you I was referring to you Messiah, you are so arrogant , you just believe I was talking about you, where did you see your name is the post regarding contradicting yourself.

 

Actually I was talking for someone else, who knows I ma right and the guy has the dignity to not even say anything...something you are obviously deprived.

 

Imagine the narcissism and arrogance you got to believe we are bothering in each post with you.......you are like a girl...attention w.... I believe they are called right? lol

 

Are you a little attention seeker?

 

Woowwww 1.25 posts per month, I am guilty Messiah, I admit it , I am sorry I have wasted peoples time here by posting 1,25 threads /month.

 

I am really a bad person

 

Its good you take up the time to post my threads, it shows you got no life and no gf but how could you with all these crap theories you make up at nght sitting in your bed and that you are competitive as hell and I love the way you are still trying to direct this thread into a personal debate between you and me for posting 1.25 threads each month.......

 

I actually believe an almost 5 year relationship deserves 1.25 posts/month, if you dont, then I guess she did correct for leaving your sorry ass, as you never really cared about her.

 

People need to talk about their feelings, men and women, this might be strange to you mach man....eee not but this is how people work, thats why psychologists have work because we need to talk about our inner issues and not seat home and read your undocumented crap and wait for each phase to come along and hope to get back together.

 

But hang on a minute...I am not the only here that disagrees with you, I am just turning the right screws , thats what bothers you

 

I leave you with a quote from you:In a break up is your fault for something you did or did not....

 

You might be a nice person and might be offering to help me, a nice move by throwing dust in my and other users eyes but the above quote from you, it really really scares me , so I guess I have to decline into becoming a member of your guinea pigs.

 

 

I admit , I am a lost case , devalued by the emotional effect my ex has on me, so do me a favour and stop bothering with me as you only make my suspicions of your competitive character correct

Edited April 30, 2012 by 69ways

[69ways]

Quote:

Originally Posted by 69ways

Who do you really think you are here

I'm no different than lalalandman, Kamila, flitzanu, Philosoraptor, Chi townD, Wilson, Art_Critic, Eddie Edirol, leoc1973, Tiera D, TaraMaiden, etc.

 

Probably the Green Goblin and et agrees with you but you still forget the ones who dont and also failed to tell us what a guy who never speaks of his ex, your words not mine, is doing on a forum where people like to talk about their ex.

 

Btw you lost one of your member because he started this thread, oh you dont believe me?

Read below:

 

 

The Anti-GIGS Thread - IRRELEVANCY EXPLAINED!!!!!

Let me start off by making one thing very clear:

 

I AM NOT TRYING TO DISPROVE GIGS.

 

What I am attempting to prove in this thread is: Irrelevant.

 

So you think GIGS explains your breakup. Relationships end for all sorts of reasons. And when you mesh it all up, it really is just, unexplainable. Similar to love. And just as unexplainable as love is, so is falling out of love.

 

And I can tell you one thing for certain. GIGS is not the answer. It's just not.

 

What you're actually doing is alleviating your ex from reason. GIGS essentially concludes that your ex left you for NO REASON. I know I know, you were great. Loved them. Showered them with affection. Always there for them. And just out of the blue, they were gone. It's not your fault.

 

GIGS is denial. I'm sorry to say. Truly.

 

There was something missing, even if you were the best thing that ever happened to them.

 

GIGS is only as real as you make it. And really, it's just a cop-out. Your actions, words and thoughts all had something to do with your breakup. The best thing you can do now is seek happiness. Learn and grow. Better yourself. Heck, your ex may even come back later, and you both may have reconciliation...

 

...yea, great. But in the meantime, leave the past behind.

 

 

 

I never rejected GIGS but some of the follow ups in your latest posts are really really out of logic sequence and honestly, get in this in your head and the remaining cells in there, I believe subconsciously GIGS exists in human but it does not always apply.

 

 

 

And if you really believe you are like the rest of the guys helping here like TaraMaiden and all the guys you used their names without asking I am sure because you are such a person that believes that is ok to do so, you are really leaving in you own bubble and please,really please dont go telling me what I can post or cant because i dont see your name under admin so I am positive you cant really say that but judging from your previous God/Messiah syndrome side effects (not sure if its documented but you would make a great case study) I will not take it personally ... this time.....

Edited April 30, 2012 by 69ways

[gibson]

When I said it gives people the worng hope, I was agreeing with the post below:

 

Originally Posted by GaelicSoul

My problem with this GIGS theory, is that it's too vague, and may give lots of people hope for a reconciliation that may never happen. This hope can indeed, and does delay true healing.

 

You think G.I.G.S. is crap and don't listen to what I have to say....

 

So I will ask you again, what is your excuse for still pinning over your Ex? Who forced false hope upon you?

 

Since I am one to give false hope...

 

The following thread I created and the content within seems to suggest that one should not make decisions based on HOPE alone:

 

Really? HOPE alone is your strategy, approach and plan for Dating / Relationships / Break Ups?

 

Let's see... What else do I think about dating, relationships and break ups...

 

For Me...

 

For me...

 

I want to be with someone who wants to be with me.

 

For me...

 

If they are not 100% sure they want to be with me... I do not / am not going to be with them.

 

For me...

 

This isn't complicated. Boy mets girl, boy and girl like each other, boy and girl fall in love, boy and girl ride off into the sunset.

 

For me...

 

I have never had to beg, plead, convince, negotiate, threaten, manipulate, etc. someone to be / want to be with me...

 

For me...

 

I am me. They either liked it or they don't.

 

For me...

 

If someone does not know who they are or what they want... I do not pursue them, date them, want to enter a relationship with them, marry them.

 

For me...

 

I do not pursue EXes who dumped me.

 

For me...

 

If an EX that dumped me wants a second chance... It's not MY JOB to get them to want me. It's THEIR JOB to get me to want them.

Below is my take on a break up or the end of a relationship...

 

Just because I don't like the answer to the question... doesn't mean that I am suppose to take it personal, think it's a reflection of me, my self worth and try to change the answer.

 

What is the question, you ask?

 

"Is this the person I want / am going to spend the rest of my life with?"

 

If either of us decide to stop dating, break up or end a relationship for WHATEVER reason... We both now have the answer to that question and the answer is, NO.

 

So for me... Rejection, a break up or the end a relationship is not a failure, I view it as a success!

 

What's the alternative?

 

To deny myself or the person I was with their own happiness? To take it personal, lose all my self-respect, dignity and chase after someone who doesn't want / deserve me? To forgo all my hopes, wishes and dreams to stay with someone I shouldn't / don't want to be with?

 

How on earth could anyone view the above a success?

 

_________________________________________________________________________

 

All the links and information I posted above is my advice, outlook, approach to dating, relationships and break ups. If you deem it counterproductive, unhealthy or wrong... For my sake and the sake of the others here, can you share with us where you stand on these matters and what you think is a better way to go?

 

Once more proven you are a person with no life and always trying to be right by manipulating threads and posts.

 

I directly quote you so how am I manipulating threads and posts?

 

Its good you take up the time to post my threads, it shows you got no life and no gf but how could you with all these crap theories

 

Oh really? I will be sure to let my GF know that she really isn't my GF.

 

Do you have a GF? If you do, you should break up because you are still hung up on your Ex.

 

People need to talk about their feelings, men and women, this might be strange to you mach man....eee not but this is how people work, thats why psychologists have work because we need to talk about our inner issues

 

Finally, something that you and I agree on.

 

and not seat home and read your undocumented crap and wait for each phase to come along and hope to get back together.

 

Last time I checked, you are the one hoping, praying and wanting to get back together with your Ex.

 

So why do you wish, hope and pray to get back together with your Ex?

 

But hang on a minute...I am not the only here that disagrees with you

 

Again... you and I agree on something.

 

I leave you with a quote from you:In a break up is your fault for something you did or did not....

 

You want to post a link to the entire post where you got that so everyone can see it in it's full context.

 

I admit , I am a lost case , devalued by the emotional effect my ex has on me

 

You purposely CHOOSE to be miserable, unhappy and allow your Ex to have total reign and control over you and your life.

 

Guess the following advice that I say on here often isn't good or what you want to hear either:

 

Your self-worth, self-respect, validation, approval, identity, etc. should come from within.

 

so do me a favour and stop bothering with me

 

As you wish... As you said, you are a lost cause.

Edited April 30, 2012 by gibson