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broken hearted


monica

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well it's been three days and two nights since he left. i have cried so many tears that i don't know where they keep coming from. he said he wants some time to think about what he wants, i said "no time" you know now if you want to try to work it out or not, i'm not waiting for nothing, so he said "g'bye"

 

i don't know if i did the right thing or not. according to the pain in my heart, i didn't! the two nights he was gone he spend with a six pack of beer i a motel, the 2nd night at a karaoke bar with three beers.

 

that tells me that that is his priority, that he don't want to give up his drinking for me. that was the main source of our fights, that and my jealousy and control. i even told him i was going to go to counseling.

 

i begged and pleaded and make a total fool of myself. now i kick myself, but at least i feel i gave it my all before i gave up or was forced to give up. now how do i move on? i want to move so far away from him so i don't go looking for him.

 

i want to move back to iowa to get away from him, i don't trust myself. i already changed my phone number so when the phone rings i wont hope it's him. if i have to move 900 miles away to get away is that wrong? i know i'll take my broken heart with but at least he wont be a temptaion.

 

sat. night will be the worst, it was our karaoke night and i will miss that so much. my heart aches just thinking about it and i know i might sneak around there to try to see if he goes there or not, that is why i need to move far far away! any suggestion? i need some help! i see why people commit suicide to escape the pain. no, i'd never do it, but i see how it would be an escape............thanx monica

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What you are going through is absolutely no different from most other people who experience a break-up, except in your case there is absolutely no doubt you did the RIGHT thing. Sure, it is painful. But the pain you feel is not from getting out of this negative situation, it is the pain of missing some of the stuff you at least thought you had.

 

From all of your posts, it was very very clear that this was not a productive situation for you. I hope you can get yourself together and get through this, make some nice friends, be good to yourself and do special things alone, and move on with your life.

 

Next time, pay a lot more attention before you settle down and get attached to the wrong person.

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