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Is Asking a Parent's Permission to Marry too Old Fashioned?


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NewzooRevue

I'm about to ask my GF of 5 years to Marry me.

 

I've been thinking about it a lot and we just got an apartment

together and were settling in and i really want to ask her. i really want

her to be my wife.

 

My question is: Should I ask her parents permission?? Her parents dig me a lot

and i'm pretty close with them. . . .I really don't think i need to ask, but was just curious

if you all think that's too old fashioned.

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Originally posted by NewzooRevue

Should I ask her parents permission?

Yeah.

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Asking her parents, especially her dad, shows that you have guts, class, and respect. When my husband and I got married, he was 28 and I was 23. He asked my dad, who of course said yes but later my dad said that it showed him respect.

 

I advise you to definetly do it!

 

good luck

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Do it, they will surely appreciate it. It is very nice and chivalrous. :)

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i would not call myself old fashioned. i am living together with a man who is of a different race. we love each other and both our families know we plan on getting married. but my parents love him and would be so impressed if he asked them for my hand in marriage. i don't know why but the fact that he would ask my dad to be the man to take care of me for the rest of my life would bring me to tears.

 

i don't know how this happened! somehow i have turned into a sap. :p

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Just to echo the others: definitely ask. Very classy thing to do, and definitely NOT too old fashioned. Even if they already like you, this will just add to the respect that they already have for you. Go for it.

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SingleInTheCity

I agree, my husband asked my father for my hand and i wouldn't have it any other way.

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My husband wanted to ask for my hand but my family is dysfunctional and when he met my father the first time my father was sitting down when my hubby came out on the deck. My hubby walked over to my father and extended his hand and introduced himself with a pleased to meet you sir and my father never stood to acknowledge my husband in return - he just shook his hand and that was the extent of his interaction. My husband, who grew up in the south said he was always raised that men stand in instances like that and he felt very disrespected. After about 2 more "family" events I stopped asking my husband to set aside his pride and attend with me. I think it's chivalrous and I hope my future son-in-law or son does this prior to proposing to his future wife.

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Originally posted by kirkyswife

I think it's chivalrous and I hope my future son-in-law or son does this prior to proposing to his future wife.

Or husband.

 

Hey, it's the 21st century.

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If you feel like asking her father is a little too old fashioned...like maybe she's well on her own...ask for his blessing. Are you still going to do it if he says no?

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  • 3 weeks later...
newzoorevuee

Thanks everyone! ! ! !

 

I'll ask her Parents permission.

 

Her parents love me and like me a lot. They always tell me how they are happy that she

has me in her life, cuz i love her so much and I look out for her needs and make a good

home for her, give her space, support her goals, etc. all that.

 

BUT, my only concern is that they might feel it important for her to finish school or

accomplish some goals etc etc first!

 

I have the feeling that if i asked them, they might say "sounds great, but isn't it a bit soon?"

 

But I don't know if that's just a self-concious feeling and maybe I'm worried they'll disagree

with my proposal at this stage, even though we have been together 5 years and it's not like

we'd get hitched immediately, we'd have to save up.

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reasontosigh

Glad you decided to go for it - hope all goes well!!!!

 

Even though I'm 44 and my dad is 73, I think he'd still like to be asked should that day come around. He'd be thrilled, I know, but I think whoever asks might want to have some smelling salts handy just in case! :D

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  • 4 weeks later...

Well, what you do if they didn't give you permission? Ask her anyway? If so, then it's dumb to say like, "I'll like your PERMISSION. Say, "I'd like your blessing."

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mørkt selvmord

DEFINATLY ask her parents premission. (Mainly her father. He'll be the one killing you if you break her heart which you won't. You sound like a decent man.) It will seem to them that you are not taking their daughter away from them, but merely taking care of her till the day you die. If I ever get married (which I won't.. who in their right mind would wanna marry me? I'm so annoying... :( ) I would want my future husband to ask my parents. Well.. maybe not.. they'd probably throw a beer bottle at him and tell him to get out of the way of the tele :( nevermind

 

Just ask her parents. Very old fashioned (which is great), shows respect, and like i said it won't seem so much as you are taking her away from them.

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