tipsyleprachauns Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 My ex just text me having not spoken to each other for 2 months. The last words I heard from her were 'leave me alone so I can get on with my life, you're starting to seem a bit stalkerish.' I deleted her number and haven't spoken to or seen her since. She just text me saying 'Hey R, just to let you know I'm coming to the evening service tomorrow. I'll keep my distance. Hope you're well. G' Now, I know this text pretty much certainly means nothing other than he politely letting me know that she'll be at the same service as me for the first time. Only thing that puzzles me is why would she bother letting me know? I wouldn't contact her to tell her if I was going to the morning etc. Secondly, I'm freaking out. My heart is going. I have no idea how I will cope with seeing her face again. Help? Advice? Interpretations? Link to post Share on other sites
wilsonx Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 Shes just checking in! Means nothing...its hot air Link to post Share on other sites
Author tipsyleprachauns Posted April 14, 2012 Author Share Posted April 14, 2012 (edited) I've not replied. I don't intend to. I'm still very much in love with her and whilst that's the case, I cannot have any kind of communication with her. But I am FREAKING out about church tomorrow. I can't miss it, it's a big part of what has gotten me through all this, but I know I'm not ready to face her without it feeling like my heart is ripped out. I drove past her the other day and that was weird enough. This is from the girl that over the past 2 months has rather missed church all together when she couldn't go to the morning services, than go to the evening ones and risk seeing me. Why now? What could have changed. WHY EFFING TEXT ME just to say I'll be there I'll keep my distance. Why not just go and keep her distance, I might not have even noticed her. She didn't need to tell me. Why would she do that if she doesn't care about me. If she doesn't care, why bother contacting me in this effort to either save hurting my feelings, or get a rise/communication. It seems pointless. And my mind is going overdrive. I hate it. I've been preparing myself for something like this, knowing it might happen one day. Telling myself I wouldn't over think it. It's impossible not to. I'm out with mountain rescue on event cover tomorrow and I find myself hoping someone falls over and breaks something, so that I get called off standby and have a good reason not to go to church. Edited April 14, 2012 by tipsyleprachauns Link to post Share on other sites
Bluebelle38 Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 She is telling you because she doesn't want to shock you seeing her there. She is also saying she will keep her distance and hopes you do the same. That is all it is. I hope you start to move on from her soon. xx Link to post Share on other sites
esteem-jam Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 "Ill keep my distance"- means she will not approach you, and this is the right thing to do, cause your heart is pounding like you said. And it means you should not approach her either, "leaving me alone" is still in effect. Link to post Share on other sites
EgoJoe Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 Plus she wants you to be sweating it and is hoping you bite the hook. Don't. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tipsyleprachauns Posted April 14, 2012 Author Share Posted April 14, 2012 Guess I'll do what I planned all along when I knew I'd eventually see her there. Not speak to her or contact her but sit there proud surrounded by friends who love me knowing she was wrong about me, I've changed 100 times for the better, and that it's her loss. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 What I perceive (and it is just a perception, but as I am not emotionally invested, it may be of interest to you) is that she is giving you advance notice that she will be there. I would guess to give you a chance to decide to go or not go, depending on how you feel about it. Trust your feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
EgoJoe Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 Go one step further. Do not even acknowledge her presence no matter how hard she tries. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tipsyleprachauns Posted April 14, 2012 Author Share Posted April 14, 2012 I don't see her trying. I don't see this being a malicious thing. I think betterdeal is probably right. However it strikes me as change that considering she wanted nothing to do with me, she kept my number and thought to text me a warning allegedly intended to protect my feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 I think she gave you advanced notice to avoid upset or a dramatic, overly emotive situation. The way you phrased this is interesting: you see her previous message as her wanting nothing to do with you; I see it as her wanting some space or less contact with you. To be frank, it sounds to me like she is over it and you're not. Nothing wrong in that: we all take our own time to process things, to reach an even keel. Just be honest with yourself about how you feel at the present moment, each moment. No need to break a sweat if you aren't ready to socialise with her yet. Take your time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tipsyleprachauns Posted April 14, 2012 Author Share Posted April 14, 2012 I know I'm not over it. I have no interest in socialising with her. She was so angry and bitter and attacking during the break up when I was nothing but nice- it definitely seemed like she wanted nothing to do with me. We also previously discussed if this situation came up we'd just keep out of each others way and be civil. It was decided. I see no need for her to contact me about this. I'm surprised she still has my number even. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 Sounds like it was a very upsetting break up, and also a good thing she does have your number, as you now get to choose to avoid a difficult situation. Do something relaxing. Take some deep breaths, go for a walk / jog / run, have a hot bath, and try not to worry about it. Things'll be okay. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tipsyleprachauns Posted April 14, 2012 Author Share Posted April 14, 2012 I'm not avoiding it. I'm going. It's my church and it's my faith an it's more important to me than she Is. I won't let her take that away frOm me and even if it hurts like hell I'll hold my head high and not shy away from what I believe in and care about. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 Good for you! How are you feeling now? Still freaked, heart racing, or different? Link to post Share on other sites
Author tipsyleprachauns Posted April 14, 2012 Author Share Posted April 14, 2012 Calmer. I settled down after an hour or so. Nervous though, I won't lie. Had some long chats with friends from church and they're all so supportive which is great. Said its admirable that I'm being true to my faith over my feelings. Link to post Share on other sites
betterdeal Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 I'm glad to hear it. A friend in need is a friend indeed. Link to post Share on other sites
Senateguy Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 (edited) Dude....it's so obvious what she is doing... That text doesn't say "i'll be at the service." That text says: "why aren't you texting me anymore? Are you dating someone else? My ego is wondering why this guy who use to be at my beck and call isn't calling me anymore? Let me text him and see if i can rattle his cage. I'll put out some b.s. text about the church service that will require him to respond. Let me give this a shot... This loser isnt' over me yet...I know it." DO NOT RESPOND! If you see her at the service....act indifferent.....don't even bring up the text. Don't ignore her...don't look for her...dont' hide from her....don't run from her. Be cool....be unaffected. Don't give her the glory of seeing you still suffer. That's what she wants SO bad... This is what No Contact does to the dumper...it affects their ego. That's all that text is .....her ego. What a piece of **** text that is that she sent. Whatever you do...don't look affected and don't ignore her if she tries to say hi. And if she asks why you didn't respond...say..."Oh, yea your text...totally forgot about...How are you doing?? Oh good....that's good to hear.." Edited April 14, 2012 by Senateguy 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LasVegasGuy Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 The question you need to be asking yourself is, WHO THE F does she think she is??? Texting you like she is just SOOOOOO Ear-Resitable, like you can't fathom without her. I would have sent a text back saying Get a Life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tipsyleprachauns Posted April 14, 2012 Author Share Posted April 14, 2012 I can't see her doing it maliciously. Or to boost an ego really. I just find it confusing as it seems presumptuous and largely pointless. Link to post Share on other sites
Senateguy Posted April 14, 2012 Share Posted April 14, 2012 I can't see her doing it maliciously. Or to boost an ego really. I just find it confusing as it seems presumptuous and largely pointless. If you don't think this is about ego, you are very naive to the ways of the dumper and to the ways of women. She is testing the waters to see if you are still out there. If you are still pressed. If she can still rattle you. "why is this guy who was begging for me a few months ago not calling anymore? I wonder what he is up to? Is there another woman?" That's exactly what is going through her mind bro. Believe what you want. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 Dude....it's so obvious what she is doing... That text doesn't say "i'll be at the service." That text says: "why aren't you texting me anymore? Are you dating someone else? My ego is wondering why this guy who use to be at my beck and call isn't calling me anymore? Let me text him and see if i can rattle his cage. I'll put out some b.s. text about the church service that will require him to respond. Let me give this a shot... This loser isnt' over me yet...I know it." DO NOT RESPOND! If you see her at the service....act indifferent.....don't even bring up the text. Don't ignore her...don't look for her...dont' hide from her....don't run from her. Be cool....be unaffected. Don't give her the glory of seeing you still suffer. That's what she wants SO bad... This is what No Contact does to the dumper...it affects their ego. That's all that text is .....her ego. What a piece of **** text that is that she sent. Whatever you do...don't look affected and don't ignore her if she tries to say hi. And if she asks why you didn't respond...say..."Oh, yea your text...totally forgot about...How are you doing?? Oh good....that's good to hear.." She will also show up in the perfume she used to wear, and look extra gorgeous knowing it will be a tease. I agree; her text is BS. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 She will also show up in the perfume she used to wear, and look extra gorgeous knowing it will be a tease. I agree; her text is BS. Or if she asks why he hasn't responded, he could say "I'm just not attached to being accessible". Link to post Share on other sites
Author tipsyleprachauns Posted April 15, 2012 Author Share Posted April 15, 2012 Guess I'll just have to wear perfume and look gorgeous myself then given that she said she'll keep her distance, I expect she'll keep her distance though. Link to post Share on other sites
xxSRMxx Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 Let us know how you get on.... Link to post Share on other sites
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