BewitchedandBothered Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 Guess I'll just have to wear perfume and look gorgeous myself then given that she said she'll keep her distance, I expect she'll keep her distance though. She won't keep her distance, she will go up and hug you or something. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
beyond Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 My ex just text me having not spoken to each other for 2 months. The last words I heard from her were 'leave me alone so I can get on with my life, you're starting to seem a bit stalkerish.' I deleted her number and haven't spoken to or seen her since. She just text me saying 'Hey R, just to let you know I'm coming to the evening service tomorrow. I'll keep my distance. Hope you're well. G' Now, I know this text pretty much certainly means nothing other than he politely letting me know that she'll be at the same service as me for the first time. Only thing that puzzles me is why would she bother letting me know? I wouldn't contact her to tell her if I was going to the morning etc. Secondly, I'm freaking out. My heart is going. I have no idea how I will cope with seeing her face again. Help? Advice? Interpretations? Would really like to know how this turns out this evening.... Link to post Share on other sites
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 I can't see her doing it maliciously. Or to boost an ego really. I just find it confusing as it seems presumptuous and largely pointless. If you believe it's not done in an ever so slightly manipulative way, and egotistical "I'll keep my distance" thing on her part, then I have some lovely Oceanfront property in Arizona to sell you. Link to post Share on other sites
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 Guess I'll just have to wear perfume and look gorgeous myself then given that she said she'll keep her distance, I expect she'll keep her distance though. Don't count on that, LOL Link to post Share on other sites
Author tipsyleprachauns Posted April 15, 2012 Author Share Posted April 15, 2012 She came. She left. I got my wish an was called out with mountain rescue so turned up late and avoided the awkward bit at the beginning but it was weird. She looked great and a couple times I caught her looking at me with my peripherals but not much. An then at the end hanging around having drinks chatting to people it was clear we were both actively avoiding being in the same parts of the room. Walking the long way round to stear clear. It feels horrible that I just spent 3 hours in a room with a girl I love with all my heart and once shared everything with, and she was nothing but a complete stranger. Link to post Share on other sites
beyond Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 She came. She left. I got my wish an was called out with mountain rescue so turned up late and avoided the awkward bit at the beginning but it was weird. She looked great and a couple times I caught her looking at me with my peripherals but not much. An then at the end hanging around having drinks chatting to people it was clear we were both actively avoiding being in the same parts of the room. Walking the long way round to stear clear. It feels horrible that I just spent 3 hours in a room with a girl I love with all my heart and once shared everything with, and she was nothing but a complete stranger. She wasn't a complete stranger and who knows the turmoil she may have been going through too. Hopefully it will get easier the more you see her. Well done on getting through it x Link to post Share on other sites
Author tipsyleprachauns Posted April 15, 2012 Author Share Posted April 15, 2012 (edited) To top it off, for the first time in 2 and a half months, it's made me feel like contacting her. I know I won't. But I never even had an urge to before. And for some reason I just felt the urge to have a look on her facebook. Turns out this morning, between texting yesterday and seeing her tonight, she deleted all her old profile pics of us two as a couple. Finally. Now, of course, I'm over thinking why. What the hell is going on. Edited April 15, 2012 by tipsyleprachauns Link to post Share on other sites
Author tipsyleprachauns Posted April 15, 2012 Author Share Posted April 15, 2012 If anyone can help me garner insight, or more importantly, talk me out of breaking NC, now is that time to speak! I just, as hard as it was I wish things had carried on as they were. At least that was managable. Texting me, seeing her, and facebook has now thrown all my coping up in the air again Link to post Share on other sites
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 If anyone can help me garner insight, or more importantly, talk me out of breaking NC, now is that time to speak! I just, as hard as it was I wish things had carried on as they were. At least that was managable. Texting me, seeing her, and facebook has now thrown all my coping up in the air again This is precisely why I think she did this intentionally. Why did she show up, anyway=---would she have gone if you decided not to go? She probably got all dolled up knowing it would do this to you. If she wants you, let her call you.. CALL, not text. She's in the past, but wanting to make sure she has a hold on you. Don't you break the NC. You will be playing into her hands. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tipsyleprachauns Posted April 15, 2012 Author Share Posted April 15, 2012 I hear what you're saying but I don't understand it. Everything she's done seems to show that she DOESN'T want any communication/contact/link/anything to do with me. She avoided me. She deleted photos. She didn't talk to me. If she wanted a reaction, why not just talk to me and get a reaction. Last I heard she was dating another guy and happy. Then 2 and a half months later, in the space of 5 days, I drive past her whilst running (first sighting), I get a pointless text, I see her at church, and she purposefully deletes photos she left up until now (although not all of them) I have to laugh at myself even sitting here asking these things, thinking these things. But you know how it is. You can't not do it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 16, 2012 Share Posted April 16, 2012 I hear what you're saying but I don't understand it. Everything she's done seems to show that she DOESN'T want any communication/contact/link/anything to do with me. She avoided me. She deleted photos. She didn't talk to me. If she wanted a reaction, why not just talk to me and get a reaction. Last I heard she was dating another guy and happy. Then 2 and a half months later, in the space of 5 days, I drive past her whilst running (first sighting), I get a pointless text, I see her at church, and she purposefully deletes photos she left up until now (although not all of them) I have to laugh at myself even sitting here asking these things, thinking these things. But you know how it is. You can't not do it. She DID text you and say she was going to be there and....keep her distance. Glad you didn't take the bait. Link to post Share on other sites
esteem-jam Posted April 16, 2012 Share Posted April 16, 2012 Why she deleted photos? I dont think its anything certain or concrete reason, but... women are dumb, and men too. Consider this reason: she deleted the photos because you were not on your knees asking for "forgivness". You acted nice, not like she expected. You kept calm, that hurt her ego, the result was different, unlike she thought. Now deleting the photos is the punishment. Seeing how she has texted you some times, and ego games... love is not about that. She is very proud, most people would be and would remain proud, ... she can text but wont call... because women are dumb, and men too. Link to post Share on other sites
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 16, 2012 Share Posted April 16, 2012 Why she deleted photos? I dont think its anything certain or concrete reason, but... women are dumb, and men too. Consider this reason: she deleted the photos because you were not on your knees asking for "forgivness". You acted nice, not like she expected. You kept calm, that hurt her ego, the result was different, unlike she thought. Now deleting the photos is the punishment. Seeing how she has texted you some times, and ego games... love is not about that. She is very proud, most people would be and would remain proud, ... she can text but wont call... because women are dumb, and men too. men and women are not dumb....we just do dumb things;) I deleted all my ex's pictures and threw away any tangible memories because I knew it was over. No reason to keep a souvenir. It's just what some people do to move on. Why save a picture of the ex? Link to post Share on other sites
Author tipsyleprachauns Posted April 16, 2012 Author Share Posted April 16, 2012 (edited) Any predictions for what happens next? I woke up this morning feeling worse than I have in a while, but I managed to get through the evening/night without breaking NC. She's still left the albums up with the original coupley photos of us up and tagged. Why go on purposefully to delete a bunch of profile pics, but leave 2 of the cutest and leave all the albums there? When she dumped me, I got rid of everything straight away. I guess she knows I can see her profile pics. My friend told me about the rest, I can't see those. Edited April 16, 2012 by tipsyleprachauns Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 16, 2012 Share Posted April 16, 2012 Take down her profile, de-friend her and block her....why are you even logging in to FB? I'd close your account and open up a new one...or not even bother.... i don't get why people deliberately do things that they know will hurt or set them back. it's just dumb insanity.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author tipsyleprachauns Posted April 16, 2012 Author Share Posted April 16, 2012 I have facebook because I find it very useful to keep in touch with people I work with and the friends I make through work all over the country and world. I de friended her straight away but haven't bothered blocking her as it would feel to me like a) I was showing that it still bothered me, and b) up until now I've been able to exercise self control. I can't see much anyway it seems. I guess the last 4 or 5 days have thrown everything so much up in the air again that I lost it a bit. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tipsyleprachauns Posted April 16, 2012 Author Share Posted April 16, 2012 Okay, So now she's trying to get my attention. Most probably just shes decided she's entirely over it and wants to be friends. I'm feeling a lot better this evening. Went out and smashed a 7 mile run after finishing work early and cooked some lovely dinner. Feeling generally positive. Get home to find she's 'liked' a couple of my posts on our churches group. Now. I've been posting the odd thing on these groups for a long time. I despise the concept of 'liking' on facebook. It is utterly pointless. It serves no purpose other than letting the person that put the post there know that you 'like' it. Well she did it. She let me know. She could have just read it, enjoyed it, and moved on. What is this girl playing at? Screwing with me, or just genuinely happy to be friends - which I should add, I am not. This has been a terribly confusing few days. Link to post Share on other sites
esteem-jam Posted April 16, 2012 Share Posted April 16, 2012 Maybe she is trying to get your attention, MAYBE. -or- Shes thinking: Ill let him know hes not such a loser by pressing Like on this post. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tipsyleprachauns Posted April 16, 2012 Author Share Posted April 16, 2012 -or- Shes thinking: Ill let him know hes not such a loser by pressing Like on this post. Back to the thinking very highly of herself to assume I feel like a loser. Contrarily, I actually feel damn good about myself these days. Link to post Share on other sites
SilverBlueAndGold Posted April 16, 2012 Share Posted April 16, 2012 Okay, So now she's trying to get my attention. Most probably just shes decided she's entirely over it and wants to be friends. I'm feeling a lot better this evening. Went out and smashed a 7 mile run after finishing work early and cooked some lovely dinner. Feeling generally positive. Get home to find she's 'liked' a couple of my posts on our churches group. Now. I've been posting the odd thing on these groups for a long time. I despise the concept of 'liking' on facebook. It is utterly pointless. It serves no purpose other than letting the person that put the post there know that you 'like' it. Well she did it. She let me know. She could have just read it, enjoyed it, and moved on. What is this girl playing at? Screwing with me, or just genuinely happy to be friends - which I should add, I am not. This has been a terribly confusing few days. After reading all of this I have to agree with the sentiment that you are being strung along here. And you are allowing it! Follow the advice of keeping up NC, block her on FB if you cannot bring yourself to just turn it off. Remove every single temptation and don't go snooping. Keep reminding yourself about how you felt each time you saw her, or a picture of her, or wondered what a text meant. Just stop beating yourself up! You said you don't want to be friends...that is all you need to say, it doesn't matter if SHE does. What she is doing is causing you pain and I am sorry to say this to you but you are letting it happen! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 16, 2012 Share Posted April 16, 2012 So now she's trying to get my attention. .... Get home to find she's 'liked' a couple of my posts .... I despise the concept of 'liking' on facebook. .... Well she did it. She let me know. She could have just read it, enjoyed it, and moved on. What is this girl playing at?... Screwing with me, or just genuinely happy to be friends ..... What this says to me is - "I have completely cut off all contact, avoided seeing her, talking to her and even acknowledging her. Everybody's advice on No Contact has been absolutely spot-on, accurate and well worth listening to.... But you know what? I'm going to keep one avenue open so i can prove to everyone, including her, that even if she sees what I'm doing, it won't affect me, just to prove to everyone that I can." And look at that - you can't. I guess the last 4 or 5 days have thrown everything so much up in the air again that I lost it a bit.....This has been a terribly confusing few days. DELETE her off Facebook! consign her to the hidden/ignored/de-friended pile! you know you must!! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author tipsyleprachauns Posted April 16, 2012 Author Share Posted April 16, 2012 She's already on that pile and has been for a long time. Just not on the blocked pile. I had a wobbly after the last few days and looked once. Barely any info could be seen which I'm sure is for the best. Now I'm back on track with keeping NC up. It just threw me a little. I don't feel like I deserve to be berated for having a bit of a setback for a couple days whilst she suddenly miraculously resurfaces. In fact, even though on the inside I've been up in the air, on the outside, I think I've dealt with it quite well. None of my friends, or her friends, or any strangers would have been able to tell any difference. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 16, 2012 Share Posted April 16, 2012 Use this occasion as a timely reminder that if we permit ourselves to be governed by our emotions - or we permit others to manipulate our emotions - we render ourselves more fragile. I have an aversion to the phrase "giving away your power" but unfortunately, it fits.... Hopefully, this will enable you to toughen up a notch. Keep going. It can only get better. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author tipsyleprachauns Posted April 16, 2012 Author Share Posted April 16, 2012 I guess I just have to beat into my head her reasons for doing this are irrelevant. She's done it all, and it holds no substance. Move along. Right? Easily said. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author tipsyleprachauns Posted April 16, 2012 Author Share Posted April 16, 2012 I guess I just have to beat into my head her reasons for doing this are irrelevant. She's done it all, and it holds no substance. Move along. Right? Easily said. Link to post Share on other sites
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