Author tipsyleprachauns Posted April 19, 2012 Author Share Posted April 19, 2012 Well she seems to have dissappeared again, about as quickly and vaguely as she reappeared. That was all rather pointless. Something I should get used to? I hate how it's just made me think about her again, after such a good couple weeks - relatively speaking. Link to post Share on other sites
LasVegasGuy Posted April 19, 2012 Share Posted April 19, 2012 (edited) Well she seems to have dissappeared again, about as quickly and vaguely as she reappeared. That was all rather pointless. Something I should get used to? I hate how it's just made me think about her again, after such a good couple weeks - relatively speaking. Yes if you continue to allow her, she is moving on while keeping you stationary. That's what exs do, you are like bank ATMs to them (emotionally though) they get what they need and go, and rather that be a feeling of being loved in which thier current other is not giving them or just a peace of mind that my backup plan is still available. You have to be serious, or you will find yourself in 5 years not being over her and still posting the same thing on loveshack. If you are really serious you will go as far as changing your number and other method of contact that she might be familiar with. I did it and I work for a cellphone carrier and talk to many people everyweek that request to do it. Edited April 19, 2012 by LasVegasGuy 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 19, 2012 Share Posted April 19, 2012 Use this occasion as a timely reminder that if we permit ourselves to be governed by our emotions - or we permit others to manipulate our emotions - we render ourselves more fragile. I have an aversion to the phrase "giving away your power" but unfortunately, it fits.... Hopefully, this will enable you to toughen up a notch. Keep going. It can only get better. Hi, Tara!! I've been told many times during my situation that I was 'giving away my power". What's your aversion to it? Curious. I didn't like being told this because I am a seriously stubborn and prideful person; the thought that I looked like I was giving my 'power' to him upset me to no end. And to the OP; chalk this one up as a learning experience. You are capable of loving and giving and kindness. Save it for someone who wants to stick around to appreciate you. Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 19, 2012 Share Posted April 19, 2012 It's just the phrase itself that puts my teeth on edge.. it's a bit new-age cliché...but accurate, nevertheless... Another one that gets to me, is a phrase you need to slowly say with a broad "Dr Phil" Texan drawl.... "whud duzzhent keeel yew maiksh yew schtrawngrrrr..." (Translation: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger....!) actually - What doesn't kill you - merely delays the inevitable. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 19, 2012 Share Posted April 19, 2012 It's just the phrase itself that puts my teeth on edge.. it's a bit new-age cliché...but accurate, nevertheless... Another one that gets to me, is a phrase you need to slowly say with a broad "Dr Phil" Texan drawl.... "whud duzzhent keeel yew maiksh yew schtrawngrrrr..." (Translation: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger....!) actually - What doesn't kill you - merely delays the inevitable. What doesn't kill me makes me stranger;) LOL Link to post Share on other sites
TaraMaiden Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 Oh i looove that one! I can't wait to use it! Link to post Share on other sites
Author tipsyleprachauns Posted April 20, 2012 Author Share Posted April 20, 2012 Yes if you continue to allow her, she is moving on while keeping you stationary. That's what exs do, you are like bank ATMs to them (emotionally though) they get what they need and go, and rather that be a feeling of being loved in which thier current other is not giving them or just a peace of mind that my backup plan is still available. Still don't buy into someone being malicious enough to make such vague contact by means of keeping me as a backup plan. Not sure what it is I'm meant to have allowed her to do - I didn't so much as acknowledge her existence. I know I'll be seeing her at church again next week as it's a baptism service, so maybe more will be clear then. Link to post Share on other sites
LasVegasGuy Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 Still don't buy into someone being malicious enough to make such vague contact by means of keeping me as a backup plan. Not sure what it is I'm meant to have allowed her to do - I didn't so much as acknowledge her existence. I know I'll be seeing her at church again next week as it's a baptism service, so maybe more will be clear then. Well I wish you well and I hope it works out for you. Out of the thousands of loveshack threads I have seen since I been here, maybe you will prove that exs don't keep people as backburners. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Reddice Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 Still don't buy into someone being malicious enough to make such vague contact by means of keeping me as a backup plan. I don't think you should see it as a malicious act. I would rather call it uncertainty avoidance. Humans dislike uncertainty, so they will do what they can to make sure there is as little uncertainty in their life as possible. This means she has a Plan A (aka Best Case Scenario) and Plan B (aka Worst Case Scenario). You sir, are part of Plan B. Who knows... perhaps even Plan C. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author tipsyleprachauns Posted April 20, 2012 Author Share Posted April 20, 2012 Well I wish you well and I hope it works out for you. Out of the thousands of loveshack threads I have seen since I been here, maybe you will prove that exs don't keep people as backburners. I guess what I mean to say is, I think if she was doing that - which is out of character - then I would have expected her to do more than simply warn me she'd be at church. Doesn't seem very pro active to keeping me on a tether. That said, I clearly don't know her as well as I thought I did... Link to post Share on other sites
LasVegasGuy Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 Its not even malicous, perhaps most people don't even realize what they are doing. Its not like the ex wakes up and tell them self "let me keep a spare" Link to post Share on other sites
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