lostintx Posted June 18, 2004 Share Posted June 18, 2004 [color=darkred][/color][font=arial][/font] I really don't know where to start..but here goes.... I filed for divorce...my husband was mentally and physical abusive...through out our marriage....even when i was preg. .there was a protective order put against him until or first court date...which was on monday the 14....they set the protective order aside unless he does something to me or the children....well since monday he has come to the house everyday...trying to touch me and begging for sex....and gets very angry when i tell him to stop....so starting Tuesday i started leaving my children with my mother for him to pick them up from her so i don't have to be around him....up until Tuesday...my kids were scared of him...cause in the past they had been spanked with belts and leather straps but all of a sudden after him seeing my children alone..(ages 11,10,7,3 1/2 ) they want me to give him another chance..they said he had changed...? i'm just really confused and need anyones advice who is willing to give it Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted June 18, 2004 Share Posted June 18, 2004 No one can testify as to what's happening with your children, but it's not their place to tell you whether to give this guy another chance--especially when it can jeapordize your safety. Link to post Share on other sites
zoomer Posted June 18, 2004 Share Posted June 18, 2004 Your oldest, 11 years old, has no concept of marriage, abuse, divorce, etc., Even children of abusive parents love them. Your children should be kept completely out of the loop of arguments and what is going on in your marriage, divorce. They need to be reassured that both you and their father love them very much. I agree, that you should make your own decisions. Your decisions will affect the children but your submitting them to an abusive family life will too! Keep your head up and don't let anyone else alter your decisions...you are the only one married to this person and you are the only one that knows what goes on in your home. Your children will survive and can be raised in a happy healthy family even without their father living under the same roof. A protective order is just as you said, not much worth the paper it's written...law enforcement will take action only when he has broken the law, unfortunately when something has already occurred. This, however, does not mean that you can't call 911 each and every single time he starts his irrational behavior. If he forces you to have sex, file rape charges. Good Luck to you and others have survived this similar situation so I know you can too!!! Link to post Share on other sites
brashgal Posted June 18, 2004 Share Posted June 18, 2004 Stay strong, don't act impulsively. Remember the abuse, write it all down and read it again and again when you feel weak. Let him spend time with the kids proving how he has changed and how much he wants you back. If he can keep it up for 6 months or more you might think about letting him back into your life. In the meantime, concentrate on taking care of you and becoming emotionally, mentally, physically strong - it will be tough with 4 kids but it sounds like you have family support. Good luck to you. Link to post Share on other sites
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