I'm back and yes I messed up

[truckersgirl]

Please don't make excuses for him. You honestly have no idea what was or wasn't going on in his marriage. I would bet the majority of what he has told you is lies.

 

Yes, it is unfortunate that his children were dragged into all this. They should NOt have been staying at your house - kids need time to adjust and should not have been involved with all the lies and deceit and staying at YOUR home. What a pitiful father he is to do that to innocent children.

 

I hope you stay strong. I wouldn't go to his truck. Put it outside. If you have no business reason to be in the locked area, you can get in trouble for trespassing, even tho he told you the code. This is a personal issue, not a work issue. Don't put his employer in The middle of it.

 

When he tries to get you to take him back, please dont. He needs to have his own place for his children. Stop enabling him to dump his responsibilities on you!

 

His kids and I get along and there have been many weekends in the last year they have been at my apartment or here at my new place. Hid kids know he and I are living together and thier Mom even said they like coming over not to see their Dad but me.

 

The whole situation is a mess and I know it is my fault for getting involved in the first place and then taking him back again. I need to put on my big girl panties and just move on without him.

 

I am not going to put his stuff in the truck, you are right about the trepassing thing, it is all packed and waiting for him when he gets back off the road

[truckersgirl]

Hi Truckergirl,

 

I remember you. I am very sorry for your hurt. I know we often don't make the wisest decisions when there are emotions involved. So, please when I say this...know I don't mean it to come across hateful. But, you need not to blame this 100% on him. You knew full good and well what you were getting into, and this would more than likely be the outcome.

His actions previously showed he was a serial cheater, so why on earth would you think you would ever be "exclusive".

 

The blame for your situation lies on you. You knew what the deal was, and you made a choice to be with him. And unwise choice, but still yours. So, now you have to decide what you want for you life.

 

I think you deserve a man who loves YOU and only YOU and is committed to just that. What do you think you really deserve?

 

Hi, no how can I be mad about what you are saying when it is the truth. Nope I take full blame for this, I took him back after he and his wife split and once again fell for the charms and the lies. I just can't understand how someone can look you right int he eyes, sound so sincere and lie right to your face. I guess was just brought up weird or something because I sure as hell don't do it.......time to start over

[truckersgirl]

Open marriage means that the spouses are allowed to screw other ppl without forming relationships.

You 2 formed a relationship, he cheated on his wife with you.

 

You never get in a relationship with a cheater, because what they did to the one before you, they will do to you.

 

I really hope you kick him out after his kids are gone. Sounds like a horrible father and a ****ty rolemodel, i am sorry for those kids.

 

PS: I live in Eastern Europe, and truckers are notorious here for being cheating bastards ... how is it in the US ?

 

Same here .....not all I am sure there are truckers out there that don't cheat.

[truckersgirl]

How are you doing Truckersgirl? update when you can.

 

Good morning ....

 

 

Whew, well here is what happened the rest of the weekend. I took the kids home and when I got there Sally wanted to talk to me, seems Glen talked to her abut what is going on with me, yes his ex and I are friends. He knows something is wrong with me and she wanted to know what is going on.

 

We talked for a little bit and I didn't tell her about what I think is going on, I lost my job at the end of Feb. and i am really stressed about that and just some other stuff. She told me that with him having to work I could have brought the kids back home, but honestly them being here was a good distraction.

 

She opened the marriage abut 5 years ago, it wasn't him that suggested it. she told me she did it for a few reasons, one she was lonely, he was gone ll the time and 2, she couldn't prove it but she thought he might be on the verge of cheating, and she was not going to spit up her family because the kids were so young, it works for her but like she said in all the time this has been going on, he has had one girlfriend, besides me. Now, I beleive her but she is going by what he has told her, he is or was lying t her.

 

Glen and I were friends for abut 2 years before anything became physical and it was a friends with benefits type of situation at first but last year in June the lines became broken and so did the rules, HE said that to me, I didn't expect him to say that. She is fine with s and glad we are together because she knows or said how good I am for him and I make him happy, plus she trusts me with the kids.......

 

I let feeling no better and sleep just won't come to me, but i know that I did pack his stuff and when he gets back off the road Wed., when he is due back it is over........becuase I can't be with someone who doesn't love me, and who can't be honest

[wannabdone]

Hi, no how can I be mad about what you are saying when it is the truth. Nope I take full blame for this, I took him back after he and his wife split and once again fell for the charms and the lies. I just can't understand how someone can look you right int he eyes, sound so sincere and lie right to your face. I guess was just brought up weird or something because I sure as hell don't do it.......time to start over

 

 

I am glad you didn't take offense, as I adore you to pieces. And I know when i kept doing my foolishness, and ppl would tell me "you knew better"..I thought "well great, how does that help me now?". But what I wasn't seeing is that I wasn't owning my part. Sure he lied, sure he was good at it... but at the end of the day I took him back each time, and I allowed this cycle to continue. He was going to get away with whatever I allowed.

 

Who knows how or why they can do that. That isn't for you or me to figure out. All we need to figure out is why WE do what WE do. You know?

 

Stay away from him... far far away. I know, easier said that done when the heart is involved. But I bet if you look at it, easier than this bull crap your going through right now... right?

 

You are a woman who can obviously love someone. Allow yourself to be loved. Truckergirl, do you REALLY down deep know that you deserve that? Not just saying "yes I know I do" because you know you probably do... but in your gut and in your heart do you really know what you deserve? Because, sweetie, your actions show you don't think you deserve anything more than being treated like sheet.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Even though I'm mad … I don't want you beating yourself up. I promise you that you are not the first person who has gone way against her better judgement when you feel that "love" feeling. I'm another one myself.

 

Regardless! You MUST disentangle yourself from this toxic mess.

 

I know little about you but I get a strong impression that you are a lovely young woman who is smart, with a big kind heart - but for some reason, you don't think you deserve very much. And, you seem to believe that you will have to pay dearly to get love.

 

I'm not saying this from a judgmental place, honestly, but why were you even engaged in a FWB arrangement with a married long haul trucker in the first place? I know you feel a lot for him, but what was really in that for you? What needs and wants did that fulfill? And what did having this situation (and the ensuing mess) PREVENT you from finding for yourself in your life?