DAYANDNIGHT Posted June 18, 2004 Share Posted June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ink to post Share on other sites
swtbonita Posted June 18, 2004 Share Posted June 18, 2004 does this married man have other children? Link to post Share on other sites
Author DAYANDNIGHT Posted June 18, 2004 Author Share Posted June 18, 2004 yes he has 3 other children with his wife, he is 39 now and im 23 Link to post Share on other sites
swtbonita Posted June 18, 2004 Share Posted June 18, 2004 i really don't understand how this can make you happy.. two families have split apart... you have hurt your children, his children and both of your spouses.. I feel that the both of you are very selfish.. you put your interest first before your children and your happiness. And if you are so happy why are you still married, why do you hide your relationship.. you may be happy but at what cost to your family and children.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DAYANDNIGHT Posted June 18, 2004 Author Share Posted June 18, 2004 I MEAN I AM NOT WITH MY HUSBAND ANYMORE, I LEFT HIM , I KNOW I HURT MY HUSBAND AND THAT IS SOMETHING THAT I DIDNT MEAN TO DO, BUT IT DID HAPPEN AND I CANT TAKE IT BACK, I NEVER IMAGINED THAT I WAS GOING TO HAVE AN AFFAIR I DIDNT PLAN IT, BUT IM NOT SAYING THAT IM HAPPY THAT HES CHEATING ON HIS WIFE WITH ME BUT THAT IM HAPPY THAT WE FOUND EACHOTHER AND BESIDES OUR KIDS/ HIS AND MINE ARE FINE, EACH OF THEM STILL HAVE THEIR DAD AROUND , AND AS FOR HIS WIFE WELL SHE DECIDED TO LET HIM STAY HOME , EVEN THOUGH SHE KNOWS THAT HE SEES ME , SHES SAYS SHE CANT STOP US SO WHY FIGHT IT, WE LOVE EACHOTHER AND ONE DAY WE WILL B TOGETHER, I HAVE NO DOUBT...... THIS IS THE WAY THINGS ARE NOW , IT WOULD OF BEEN A LOT BETTER IF WE WERNT MARRIED TO OTHER PPL BUT U CANT ALWAYZ GET WHAT U WANT..... Link to post Share on other sites
NINRH8R Posted June 18, 2004 Share Posted June 18, 2004 wow dayandnight, I see just where you r coming from.....I see kind of the samething happening in my relationship right now, she never seen herself having an affair with me, but it has happen and we have feelings for each other......you see, her husband cannot have children... so if she ends up pregnant.... oh well then everything will be right out in the open and we can move on hopefully together...............but when you are in love, you seem not to really care about anything but the signifacate other. Link to post Share on other sites
SingleInTheCity Posted June 18, 2004 Share Posted June 18, 2004 I don't mean to sound judgmental but I don't know how you can you say that you are happy to be the other woman when you are contributing to hurting others. All I can say is that Karma is a very serious thing and you both should be cognizant of the manner in which you treat those you claim you cared/loved. Link to post Share on other sites
kirkyswife Posted June 18, 2004 Share Posted June 18, 2004 This is disturbing to me. Why would you be "happy" in a relationship that is going absolutely NO WHERE fast. Please believe me as much as you think you two are in love, if his home situation ever changes don't for one second think that he won't cheat on you. This is so sad to me. Is there a shortage of single men or am I just missing something Link to post Share on other sites
Debster Posted June 18, 2004 Share Posted June 18, 2004 Thanks for the wonderful life lesson. LOVE = Lieing, cheating and hurting people Link to post Share on other sites
HokeyReligions Posted June 18, 2004 Share Posted June 18, 2004 Well, they say "Ignorance is Bliss" so I can see how you must be totally happy. Apparently you and this other guy have the same moral values so why wouldn't you be compatible. Too bad for your kids though. BTW: Please stop shouting -- using all capital letters is considered shouting and rude..... but then again, look who I'm talking to. *sigh* Link to post Share on other sites
InmannRoshi Posted June 18, 2004 Share Posted June 18, 2004 Thanks for not only destroying two peoples lives but bringing numerous kids unwillingly into your chaos. No doubt they're going to have f'ed up lives. Forget a college fund, I hope you have started to establish a therapy fund. Link to post Share on other sites
VivianLee Posted June 18, 2004 Share Posted June 18, 2004 Originally posted by DAYANDNIGHT I MEAN I AM NOT WITH MY HUSBAND ANYMORE, I LEFT HIM , I KNOW I HURT MY HUSBAND AND THAT IS SOMETHING THAT I DIDNT MEAN TO DO, BUT IT DID HAPPEN AND I CANT TAKE IT BACK, I NEVER IMAGINED THAT I WAS GOING TO HAVE AN AFFAIR I DIDNT PLAN IT, BUT IM NOT SAYING THAT IM HAPPY THAT HES CHEATING ON HIS WIFE WITH ME BUT THAT IM HAPPY THAT WE FOUND EACHOTHER AND BESIDES OUR KIDS/ HIS AND MINE ARE FINE, EACH OF THEM STILL HAVE THEIR DAD AROUND , AND AS FOR HIS WIFE WELL SHE DECIDED TO LET HIM STAY HOME , EVEN THOUGH SHE KNOWS THAT HE SEES ME , SHES SAYS SHE CANT STOP US SO WHY FIGHT IT, WE LOVE EACHOTHER AND ONE DAY WE WILL B TOGETHER, I HAVE NO DOUBT...... THIS IS THE WAY THINGS ARE NOW , IT WOULD OF BEEN A LOT BETTER IF WE WERNT MARRIED TO OTHER PPL BUT U CANT ALWAYZ GET WHAT U WANT..... Why isn't he living with you? Link to post Share on other sites
Author DAYANDNIGHT Posted June 19, 2004 Author Share Posted June 19, 2004 ok let me once again begin by saying that i am happy and thats just the way it is i mean u all say that u dont mean to b judgemental but that what ur doing i cant help the way i feel and i honestly believe that we all choose to live life as we please and thats a life that we live only once, i never in my life imagined having this affair but it did happen , too bad ,my husband knows, his wife knows, were not hurting anyone bot ourselves since were apart, and as for my kids there is not one thing f' up about their lives so i dont see what makes it ok for u to say that, what about the marriages that fail and turn into divorce, what is their lives f'up the same or worse, i see it with my eyes widely open and i know that i have nothing else to hide , im in love with this other man and i dont regret it at all, my kids have their father , and i know that one day my husband will find someone that will return the love he needs cus im not able to do that , i dont think there is such things as bad choices or bad experiences cus when u sit and think about it every move u make leads u to something new and maybe this affair made me realize that my husband and myself were just fooling ourselves trying to make it work , i dont have shame and if that makes me a bad person then im a bad person, but i asked God for forgiveness but to guide me with the choices i make and if he forgave me thats all that matters, so whatever i guess, all i did was fall in love, wheres the bad in that? .................... Link to post Share on other sites
therresa kennedy Posted June 20, 2004 Share Posted June 20, 2004 Day and Night, You have it all figued out don't you? You're all of 23, my God, you're a child, and you think you have all the answers! Sweet cheeks, you haven't a clue! Girls like you need to (think) that you're the glamorous other woman because you have NO real positive self image. Its the control you like, the feeling that you're making a chump out of wifey at home etc. There is no "bad" in what you're doing? Oh, I don't know, perhaps your two children watching you carry on like a tramp, watching you demonstrate to them that to LIE and to CHEAT is okay, and to have absolutely no morals or concern for others,(your husband for one) is one way that a person could come to the conclusion that what you are doing is not only "bad" but just plain pathetic. Most of the OW who post on these threads are at least aware that what they are doing is wrong, they know that lying is wrong, leading people on, abandoning and betraying spouses is inherently wrong. They come here to heal and learn, to inquire and ask questions of other women and men who may have a bit more life experience. You like to delude yourself into thinking you have it all figured out, but if you did, why are you then coming to this web site? Could it be that you are not so sure at all and in fact know that you are a troubled and shallow young woman, who is also not a good example for her children? I am 38 and have seen a great deal more than you sweetheart, I KNOW of the lost lives, the murders, the orphaned children that can result from acts of infidelity. You're a child and like a child you WILL learn the hard way. If you make this a pattern in your life, you will suffer and lose a great deal, it will happen, just give it time. YOU apparently are simply too high on being 23 right now, and a young woman in love with your shallow ideas of what it is to be a real woman, something of which you really and truly haven't a clue. You are also having an affair with his wife too, do you know that? In a manner of speaking, not literally, I wouldn't normally have to explain that but with you I feel I may have to really SPELL things out. You see the WIFE is an integral part of the process of OW like yourself having affairs with MM. She provides that erotic edge that OW seem to need so much. Knowing that you got a man away from another woman must make you feel really powerful and attractive, since you're not capable of feeling that any other way. MM rarely leave their wives, and you saying the wife of your married man is "okay" with what is going on is such a bogus line of crap, I've heard it before, such a tired overused excuse. You know, in your posts, you sound so confident and brag about how you have no "shame" well, I don't buy it, not one bit. You're a sad little girl playing house, a child with no morals, no understanding of how these situations can spin out of control and leave you alone with nothing. MM use OW like you for cheap thrills only to leave and go back to wifey and if you need to delude yourself into believing that you are more of a woman for your ability to ensnare a MM away from a decent MW you more than likely don't even no, well, honey that is a sad state of affairs is it not? Good luck to you hot stuff, you're going to need it! Therresa Kennedy Link to post Share on other sites
Good2Go Posted June 20, 2004 Share Posted June 20, 2004 i dont have shame and if that makes me a bad person then im a bad person, EXACTLY. Link to post Share on other sites
shortbus74 Posted June 20, 2004 Share Posted June 20, 2004 Maybe this is a dumb question to ask... but if you two are so in love with each other why has he not left his wife for you? I mean you left your husband but he gets to have his cake and eat it to? Link to post Share on other sites
Paradise Posted June 22, 2004 Share Posted June 22, 2004 DAYANDNIGHT: Just remember 2 things. 1- what comes around goes around. 2- your kids will grow up to become just like you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author DAYANDNIGHT Posted June 22, 2004 Author Share Posted June 22, 2004 i dont understand what the big deal is , first off i am no where being a tramp and my kids will not grow up being tramps either, i do not bring home negetivaty and other **** like that and i am very confident in what i say because i know whats going on in my life and im just laying out what it is that i want ya to know so ur judging me on what i write, and if u would read everything that i write before saying bs then u would see that i did acknowledge the fact that i knew i was doing wrong but that the one thing that i didnt regret was falling in love with the man, i am younge but i am not stupid...... and i am a dw . my kids do not see me doing anything bad, i dont curse i dont do anything that will make my kids go in the wrong direction , look all i did was let ya enjoy someone elses life, so enjoy it and ill just keep playing house so u say , but at least im happy and i know i am and i know that **** aint bs......peace out... Link to post Share on other sites
supermom Posted June 22, 2004 Share Posted June 22, 2004 SHAME SHAME SHAME ON YOU! You should be ashamed of yourself! RUINING children's families!!!! How DARE you not even CARE about the hurt you have caused!!! You sound immature and selfish. He WILL CHEAT ON YOU because he is a cheater. He couldn't even keep his dick in his pants with THREE KIDS? Why isn't he with you right now? DOESN'T HE LOVE YOU???!! I think not. He was using you WAKE UP. I feel sorry for your kids, get them into counceling. I would hunt you down too if you were the OW that destroyed my family. His wife HAD A RIGHT! Link to post Share on other sites
Author DAYANDNIGHT Posted June 22, 2004 Author Share Posted June 22, 2004 see im passed all of that yea she did have a right to go look for me , but she knows that he still continued to see me even after he told her so , she let him stay there at home and they even went to see me at the hospital when i had our baby and i wish u all could give up with the fact that my kids are going to need help later on in life cus that bs, my babies r fine and i know they r , they see their dad every day , i know that once a cheater always a cheater and if it happens to me then let it be, that will only make me improve on the things that im doing wrong, but for now im going to make the best out of what i got...and thats all i can really say... Link to post Share on other sites
supermom Posted June 22, 2004 Share Posted June 22, 2004 Doesn't it hurt you at all that you hurt his wife? I mean, the common respect for other people and their feelings. I always have wondered if the OW think about the wife, picture them crying and hurting and wanting to die at that moment. Did you ever think about that? Link to post Share on other sites
Author DAYANDNIGHT Posted June 22, 2004 Author Share Posted June 22, 2004 ok fine let me tell u something i did have this happen to me before and i was devestated and it took me a long time to recover from that , but when i did decide to get my head back up and make it work w my husband i started that new job and i felt as if everyone knew that i had been cheated on and it was like it just did not go away, this other man was my co worker and he had some similar exp and we got to talking and i did think about his wife and i did point the finger at myself and i hated myself for what i was doing , but it was too late to take all that back i had started the affair and let my heart go, i sometimes do still think of what i have done and believe it or not i do have a heart and i wish that i would of never exp it myself , but i also wish that i would of not shared my pain with someone else , so i see it now as if im just fighting for myself and from my heart and i do take into mind that its a battle that i might lose... but yes i have thought of her feelings.... and my own Link to post Share on other sites
kiababy Posted June 22, 2004 Share Posted June 22, 2004 Day and Night, I read your post and then waited - not for too long - until the haters came out of the woodwork.....I love how everyone says that they 'have the right to post their opinion'...but I guess that only applies if they're RIGHT AND YOU'RE WRONG! I'm an OW too - and my MM makes me happy - the situation sucks obviously, you don't need to point that out for the billionth time people, I've managed to figure that out for myself. There are no children involved thank goodness, they don't have any yet and mine are not around when he comes over - I don't introduce my children to men I see, ever. I wonder too how MM can tell their OW how much they love them, and how much they feel they're 'perfect together', but still stay with their wives? But after going through a long, hideous divorce 5 years ago myself, I can understand why someone wouldn't want to go through the process. Especially when there are children involved. My MM loves his wife, he has never ever pretended otherwise, and apart from the 'lousy sex life' they have - but yes, they DO have sex, I know that much too - everything else is fine. I know I am not ready to be in a committed relationship until I work out all of my issues. And anyway, I have already experienced an MM that I used to/still sometimes see....that is getting divorced (NOT BECAUSE OF ME)...boy, is the grass ever NOT greener. That one has gone from fun, sexy guy to an angry-depressed-sad wreck, fighting over a house, custody of two children and other stuff. I've read posts from a few OW whose MM have gone through the divorce process and it always seems to turn out to be a huge let-down! The MM always seem so perfect until you have to deal with their sh*t! I've concluded that I like things exactly the way they are. It will end one day, and I'll move on. I have absolutely no desire to ever tell his wife, it's not my place and she hasn't done anything to me so why would I want to cause her extra pain? (I say 'extra' because a girl he used to cheat with before me, did phone his wife and tell her). I also have a right to post and say that I like things the way they are, as a very wise and supportive person - (Sinner, you rock!) advised me. This site only works if all thoughts, feelings and opinions are expressed. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr Spock Posted June 22, 2004 Share Posted June 22, 2004 What a way to throw fat on the fire Kiababy!! I hope you went through your post and made sure your grammar was correct, and used spell check...... Link to post Share on other sites
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