Author LoveTKO Posted April 15, 2012 Author Share Posted April 15, 2012 Really????? smh The above says a lot about you and it ain't pretty. I'm not that bad! ; ) She actually says that I'm very sweet. she has thrown jabs at me and tried to get under my skin but I have never reciprocated with caustic response. I come across as arrogant and self assured, but I'm actually a great listener and conciliatory in nature in real life. But I knew it would get a rise out of you because you have been on me Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 well....let's talk about that for a second. Almost all of my married/committed friends are lamenting the fact that their sex life has taken a precipitous dive into the abyss. A lot of them are going thru counseling, etc. On the other hand, my situation is pretty easy and not very challenging to be honest with you, but not for her apparently. Who is talking about HER? I'm asking about you. That's the problem LoveTKO....you are so focused on her and turning everything around on her, but seem not to be worried about yourself and YOUR agency...which is what I've been talking about this whole time. I could care less about her and why she is doing what she's doing, as she's not on LS telling her story. If she were here and talking about you, I'd wonder the same and ask her why she was doing this. You're the one here saying all this stuff about her...so out of all your complaints and jabs at her...I ask, why do you continue? Why don't you just stop if it bothers you? And if you find it difficult to do so and leave her be...then do you think YOU may have an issue too? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Bellechica Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 LoveTKO, you don't really care about the toll it's taking on her if you truly cared about her sanity, you would end the A. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
wannabdone Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 I'm not that bad! ; ) She actually says that I'm very sweet. she has thrown jabs at me and tried to get under my skin but I have never reciprocated with caustic response. I come across as arrogant and self assured, but I'm actually a great listener and conciliatory in nature in real life. But I knew it would get a rise out of you because you have been on me Then it seems to me that you both (MW and you) like to play games and "get under ppl's skin". As you just demonstrated as such with wanting to get "a rise" out of LG. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveTKO Posted April 15, 2012 Author Share Posted April 15, 2012 I do, huh?? I am well aware that one is illegal, and one isnt. Merely making a point at what your thought process is coming across like. Some BS's would argue with you that robbing a store is just as bad as helping aid in robbing their lives and families. Think again...her marriage was already in trouble before she met me. I am just a symptom, not the cause. People who have affairs decide that they're going to have one...it's not happenstance. Link to post Share on other sites
wannabdone Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 Think again...her marriage was already in trouble before she met me. I am just a symptom, not the cause. People who have affairs decide that they're going to have one...it's not happenstance. Oh, okay. I gotcha. So, its okay to have an A IF someone's M is already in trouble? Good to know. I would continue the agrument that your not understanding what everyone is saying. How it makes no difference about her and what shes doing and it has to do with you. But your smart enough, you get it. Your continuing to keep the argument going. Your too quick witted to not get what everyone is saying to you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Bellechica Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 You actually think people "plan" to have affairs??? Wth? Like someone wakes up one day and thinks "oh, my M isn't meeting all my needs. Let me go out and find an AP." Do you have any idea that an A benefits no one? No one is happy in the end....it's just a sh*thole that you and your AP created. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveTKO Posted April 15, 2012 Author Share Posted April 15, 2012 Oh, okay. I gotcha. So, its okay to have an A IF someone's M is already in trouble? Good to know. I would continue the agrument that your not understanding what everyone is saying. How it makes no difference about her and what shes doing and it has to do with you. But your smart enough, you get it. Your continuing to keep the argument going. Your too quick witted to not get what everyone is saying to you. You're not seeing the forest for the trees my friend because some of you on this forum are too obsessed with pointing out my transgressions as opposed to working on reading comprehensions skills. Hello everybody! I get the fact that I'm a willing participant, but read my initial post. I was just curious how long a married person can keep the rollercoaster going....that's all. It' not the end of the world people..relax!...lol! Link to post Share on other sites
wannabdone Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 You're not seeing the forest for the trees my friend because some of you on this forum are too obsessed with pointing out my transgressions as opposed to working on reading comprehensions skills. Hello everybody! I get the fact that I'm a willing participant, but read my initial post. I was just curious how long a married person can keep the rollercoaster going....that's all. It' not the end of the world people..relax!...lol! Okay, well then... to answer your question... they can keep it going pretty damn easy. Just as easy as some of us can continue to be involved with someone else that continues to go home to someone else and have a family with them. Plain and simple... called compartmentalization or down right socipathic. Which ever one you want to pick, or both. So, theres your answer. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveTKO Posted April 15, 2012 Author Share Posted April 15, 2012 You actually think people "plan" to have affairs??? Wth? Like someone wakes up one day and thinks "oh, my M isn't meeting all my needs. Let me go out and find an AP." Do you have any idea that an A benefits no one? No one is happy in the end....it's just a sh*thole that you and your AP created. No ...she planned it...she flat out told me that she was ready many year ago. You're wrong on this one BellaChica. The was planned, premeditated, with aforethought......and malice? Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 You're not seeing the forest for the trees my friend because some of you on this forum are too obsessed with pointing out my transgressions as opposed to working on reading comprehensions skills. Hello everybody! I get the fact that I'm a willing participant, but read my initial post. I was just curious how long a married person can keep the rollercoaster going....that's all. It' not the end of the world people..relax!...lol! LoveTKO...we all can read and comprehend, but thanks for your concern. Your problems are bigger than reading comprehension frankly. Most of us still don't see why it matters how long a MP can keep the A going and why that makes any difference to you. They can keep it going as long as they want and as long as their single AP is ready and willing. Hope that answers your question. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 IME, as a fOM and fMM, the toll comes with emotional investment in the dynamic. Such is unique to each person. The more compartmentalized and the more detached, the longer otherwise unhealthy behaviors of any sort, this sort being infidelity, can exist without substantial movement from neutrality to 'a toll'. It's a range. MC helped me clarify that. Link to post Share on other sites
Bellechica Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 No ...she planned it...she flat out told me that she was ready many year ago. You're wrong on this one BellaChica. The was planned, premeditated, with aforethought......and malice? Well then if she planned it she's a different woman than me.....she can probably keep it going as long as she wants to or as long as it gives her what she wants. Wow, you must feel real good about yourself.... Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 Most agree that affairs are dysfunctional relationships, even if you won't admit your part in the dysfunction you see your mow's dysfunction. Instead of concentrating on yourself and figuring out why you are in this, you focus on her and her husband, implying that he is stupid for not knowing. While you've been in this affair, you are letting time go by, some day you will probably think it was wasted time. If you are fine with it from a ethics, moral standpoint and she is just sex to you, then I really don't know what you are looking for. You seem to have a problem with it, but then when someone points the gun at you, you deflect as you don't want to look inside yourself. You need to do some soul searching about what is right and wrong and look at why you are in a dysfunctional relationship. It's not like you have once said you love this woman. Oh and I'm not implying that love gives you a blank check.....it doesn't. If one isn't honest with one's self foremost then all else will be be futile. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveTKO Posted April 15, 2012 Author Share Posted April 15, 2012 One might have a different attitude about the end of the world........if her husband comes after you and wants to kick your arse, or/and blow your job out of the water and tell your family and friends. Yep........stuff like that does happen. Your arrogance will come around and bite you at some point in time, it always does. Most of us here that are responding have been in your similar shoes so......don't assume that the nasty face of bad experience isn't talking to you. It is. Oh...I'm well aware of that, which was the main reason why I initially opted out of this arrangement and her overtures. But here's the caveat....I live in a stand-your-ground part of the country. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveTKO Posted April 15, 2012 Author Share Posted April 15, 2012 Well then if she planned it she's a different woman than me.....she can probably keep it going as long as she wants to or as long as it gives her what she wants. Wow, you must feel real good about yourself.... Yes, I feel really good about myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveTKO Posted April 15, 2012 Author Share Posted April 15, 2012 LoveTKO...we all can read and comprehend, but thanks for your concern. Your problems are bigger than reading comprehension frankly. Most of us still don't see why it matters how long a MP can keep the A going and why that makes any difference to you. They can keep it going as long as they want and as long as their single AP is ready and willing. Hope that answers your question. Finally!!!! Thanks so much. Now, was there a reason for your circuitous posts to get to said answer? That's all I wanted to hear. Link to post Share on other sites
wannabdone Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 Finally!!!! Thanks so much. Now, was there a reason for your circuitous posts to get to said answer? That's all I wanted to hear. LoveTKO..... FYI, next time you want a SIMPLE answer to one question.... no need to waste our time with the thesis. When you write your story, people have a tendency to talk more than just the one question you asked. No need to give us the back ground and details... just come out and ask "how can ppl stay in A's?" Pretty simple. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 Oops. Nevermind..Best for me to not comment on this thread.. I will say what goes around, comes around eventually and it bites back a thousand times harder! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveTKO Posted April 15, 2012 Author Share Posted April 15, 2012 Oops. Nevermind..Best for me to not comment on this thread.. I will say what goes around, comes around eventually and it bites back a thousand times harder! Oh really? So, what terrible things are the Haitian earthquake victims, tsunami victims, kids born with congenital birth defects, famine sufferers in sub-Sahara Africa, etc., guilty of to have such a terrible fate befall them? Having an affair is wrong on many levels, but to intimate that there's some mystical what-comes-around-goes-around force is the universe is rather insulting to those who have dealt with hardships and misfortunes. You can't cherry-pick this concept because the reality it that a lot of people get away with unethical deeds. Link to post Share on other sites
Bellechica Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 LoveTKO, I think you're more screwed up than me and that's a hell of a lot. Alice, I did not go looking for a man to have A. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveTKO Posted April 15, 2012 Author Share Posted April 15, 2012 LoveTKO, I think you're more screwed up than me and that's a hell of a lot. Alice, I did not go looking for a man to have A. I think we should get together and start a screwed up dating website along the lines of Eharmony or something, where we match members according to their levels of "screwed". Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 Hello, I simplified and clarified the topic for those who are having trouble comprehending it. Title: Affairs.....do they eventually take a toll on you? How on God's green earth can a woman who is married carry on a sexual relationship with single guy for years and still cope on a day-to-day basis, facing her husband and child? <snip> But how much longer can she keep on doing this before she really suffers a nervous breakdown or something? <snip> What do you all think? Not a future for her and me, but her long term prognosis. This is a great topic to discuss.... long-term effects; the 'toll' from infidelity. Let's do that. Off-topic posts and personal attacks will be deleted and appropriate members moderated. I already did that in one similar thread this afternoon. Let's not make this one number two. That is all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LoveTKO Posted April 15, 2012 Author Share Posted April 15, 2012 sounds like a plan Link to post Share on other sites
MissBee Posted April 15, 2012 Share Posted April 15, 2012 (edited) Finally!!!! Thanks so much. Now, was there a reason for your circuitous posts to get to said answer? That's all I wanted to hear. Someone can do something for as long as they want and are allowed. It's not a groundbreaking discovery by any means. The circuitous nature of the thread is as a result of the fact that there clearly is something else at play here besides trying to find out an answer that is obvious and that you could have answered for yourself or that any fool on the street could have answered for you. Edited April 15, 2012 by MissBee 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts