irritated!

[Gotti25]

To make a long story short my husband and I have been together for 9 years and married 3 years I am 26 and he is 31! He is a very successful professional. My delima is our sex life is terrible we have sex once every 2 weeks because of his porn addiction I am very concerned is not just any porn is like teen porn he has been pushing me into having a threesome since day 1! I am bisexual myself been with many women in the past with his knowledge of course! I am very attractive with a nice body and very pretty face not bragging but I get many compliments for other man. He has been sneaking behind my back when I am at sleep and going on his Ipad watching 18 year old porn and masturbating instead of having sex with me I am at a point when I'm getting sick of this! When we do have sex is usually 10min max! I have attacked him many times regarding this he thinks his doing nothing wrong at this point I am sexually frustrated and tired of his BS! He is taking me Costa Rica for my bday and expecting me to find a hot girl to have a 3 some I agreed to this hoping in some way he will change and choose me instead of 18 year old porn! Is this a crazy fantasy of his that I should full fill any input would be appreciated thanks I know is a crazy store and please don't judge!

[TripLine]

I see a divorce coming after that 3some. He will not be satisfied unless you find even more women for him to enjoy.

[SoMovinOn]

You say you have attacked him about your sexual issues. I wonder why he didn't respond positively to those attacks.

[Gotti25]

Yes but he thinks his doing nothing wrong! He is a workaholic as well has a group of friends he loves to go bar hopping with and comes home to me at 4 am every weekend passed out wakes up hides in the bathroom to watch porn it would bother me if it was normal porn is 18 teeny porn mostly 2 girls and a guy! What pisses me off is that he doesn't see his doing anything wrong he tells me he has the right to watch as long as he is not involved! I agreed and accepted it but why go watch something unrealistic when you have the real thing right next to you. My theory is his tired of me and wants to explore something new or he wants us to engage in something I am not too certain off! I screamed and yelled at him if he doesn't step up we are divorcing he won't here about it he said he doesn't want a divorce he just like pussy to much and would never cheat behind my back! I told him your tired of me because is nothing new or fresh I said to him I watch porn to but u know what I watch not 18 year old and I said no I will not have sex with an underage woman to me is wrong he said yóu slept with a lot of girls never even invited me manipulating me I think sick of it!

[Radu]

When you said that you have been with other women 'with his knowledge', does that mean that you two have an open relationship or was it before him ?

 

Do not have that 3some, i can think of a number of things that may be huge problems you haven't discussed :

1 - girls needs to be tested first because you can get an STD very easily in a 3some when you don't know the 3rd party

2 - will it be you and him going at it with her the 3rd weel or will you be the 3rd weel ... i'm willing to bet big on you being the weel

3 - there is just 1 type of girl you will find this easy on a short vacation, do i need to spell it out for you ?

 

I could be wrong, but i suspect he is a guy that is used to getting his own way, he is selfish, and he never had an addiction before.

 

How was his high-school life and at what age did he lose his virginity ?; maybe he's trying to relive his HS.

 

About you now, it might be my impression but you jump on the divorce bandwagon too fast. That reaks of manipulation and every guy with an ounce of balls would do right by dumping you.

Stop manipulating with threats, just draw a line in the sand and respect it. If he disrespects it, you take action ... but threatening with something like that to get your way across (doesn't matter who is right) shows lack of maturity.

I'm telling you this simply as a warning, once you get used to doing this it's very hard to move away from it and it will disrupt your future relationships (of any kind).

 

PS: He is addicted, but i'm not sure it's to porn ... more like addicted to his fantasy.

Edited April 16, 2012 by Radu

[standtall]

What pisses me off is that he doesn't see his doing anything wrong he tells me he has the right to watch as long as he is not involved! I agreed and accepted it...but

 

but what? Sounds like you knew what he was like and accepted it. So the gold digger is upset that she can't change her husband? You can't change him..you can only change yourself and the way you deal with him, and so far, it sounds like you have a lot of issues as well. Maybe you should work on changing yourself first. It appears that you have 2 choices.

 

1. Stay and deal with it

2. Divorce

 

Simple...

[Gotti25]

Radu I am aware what kind of woman are available that will get into something like that and that we should be careful for STDS but I choose to find someone in a different country for him rather then here worrying about the person getting attached. No we do not have an open relationship but he has seen me kiss girls before in front of him and he said it turns him extremely on so I am not sure what's going trough his mind! Stand Tall I am not a gold digger in any way you have the wrong impression I met my husband at a very early age when he was intern from europe that was not making hardly any income so don't judge! Radu probably your right is not a good idea I have a feeling if it does happened he will enjoy it to much and ask me to do it again signs not sure on what to do but thank you for all your advices so far!

[Radu]

Maybe you should look over most of the STD's.

 

Also, how will you react if you see your guy making love (not sex) to a girl in front of you as opposed to having sex with her with your involvement ?

[irin]

unfortunately porn can never be played out in real life just like Michael bay's transformers! its not possible!

[Gotti25]

Not Sure I just want to make him happy! He came home this evening after he was at work the whole day he was telling me how he met up with his best friend for drinks this evening and his best friend is having some relationship problems he is involved with a married woman that has 2 kids she is 27 years old and won't leave her husband to be with him so he was feeling bad for his friend telling him to leave this woman! As for the threesome I won't discuss it with him as long as he doesn't mention it so far we had sex this evening he was very much in the mood and I was ecstatic he wanted to have doggy style sex which is my favorite and actually he hold off and took his time which is very unusual because he always rushes! We are heading for Costa Rica in July and is been a couple days since he mentioned the 3 some! I don't want to put him down since he was always been there for me and took good care of me. I am afraid to say No a s for the porn I noticed he sneaked again to watch it yesterday while I went to church for orthodox easter! I didn't mention to him until later in the night after I had couple glasses of wine. He knows I know what his watching he likes Brazilian young woman we are both from Europe! After I stormed at him he was very mad at me and told me all I do is bitch and complain at him for every little thing so I felt bad and I apologized but not until today we fight a lot is mostly me fighting with him he doesn't like to fight or argue much but he can be a cold ******* from time to time! We will see we just came back from Russia in december from his step brothers wedding and we where fighting the whole time while we where there it was a family affair type thing but the whole time we where there he was treating me like ****. I confronted him once we got home and he agreed and apologized I think we both have some anger issues maybe the porn is an escape for him not sure I'll keep it posted!