xxgnxx Posted June 18, 2004 Share Posted June 18, 2004 My ex and I split up about 2 months ago. He still calls me about once a week and he's asked me to do some things for him. He claims that I should do it for him as a "friend" and I have reluctanctly done some for him. Is it still okay to do favors for him? or should i just tell him to do it himself? Link to post Share on other sites
SingleInTheCity Posted June 18, 2004 Share Posted June 18, 2004 do you mind doing these things for him? Link to post Share on other sites
Author xxgnxx Posted June 18, 2004 Author Share Posted June 18, 2004 When we were together, I didn't mind doing favors for him. Now, I do mind because I know that our relationship is different. But everytime I tell him that I won't do it, I kinda feel guilty because I've always done everything he's asked me and usually I'll end up doing them for him. It's become a habit to not say yes to him. I know it's unhealthy but I think that I'm doing all of these favor for him because I'm hoping one day he'll come back. Link to post Share on other sites
SingleInTheCity Posted June 18, 2004 Share Posted June 18, 2004 Oh okay well then there's your answer right there. So since you know that you are allowing yourself to be used by your ex boyfriend with the intent of luring him back to you, don't you think that you deserve to be with someone because they genuinely want to be with you. Don't you feel that you deserve to be respected and appreciated? Sounds to me that the ex knows you pretty well and is using it to his advantage - is that the kind of man you really want to be with? Can you call him as a "friend" and get the same support on favors that you provide him? I'm going to guess no and so "flick that dirt off your shoulder and tell him to kick rocks" you aren't his doormat and you aren't going to get played. You are a strong woman and you need yourself more than you need a mess of a male like that. Link to post Share on other sites
vhshowdown Posted June 18, 2004 Share Posted June 18, 2004 I understand exactly what you are saying xxgnxx, my ex and I broke up in March. At the time, she was starting to see someone else, tells me he doesnt want her talking to me, so NEVER to call her again. Well, she then calls me in April several different times for this or that. Then in May she wants me to pay her rent and that she would pay me back 2 days later. I guess I had my head up my butt, so I did all this for her, as being nice, and the hope that we may get back together again, etc.... Well, now I have realized that every time she has contacted me was that she wanted something. Granted the last time we actually talked she invited me over for dinner on June 3rd, well I already had plans, so I said I will have to take a rain check. Well that is the last time we talked. Since then, she left me a voice mail last week stated that she found some of my clothes in her laundry, if she could drop them off to me cause she doesnt have any room for them....... She never did call back. I cant call her cause her phone has been disconnected, and everytime she calls me its using a restricted ID. So, I guess what I am saying, we have hopes, but until we really know what the EX's motives are, we are just spinning our wheels hanging on to a dream that probably may never occur....... Link to post Share on other sites
gobain Posted June 18, 2004 Share Posted June 18, 2004 Forgive me, but do you know what you're ex is saying to himself? That would be "Oh, I'll just get her to do it. I can always get her to do this stuff for me." He's asking for favors because he knows you'll always do it. Eventually he'll have no use for you, but for now you serve an excellent purpose. By all means tell him to do it himself or ask someone else. You can be as polite as you feel it necessary to be, but tell him "No". I may be more than a little bitter right now, but I do know that standing up for yourself is the right thing to do. Good Luck! Link to post Share on other sites
meanttolive4ever Posted June 18, 2004 Share Posted June 18, 2004 yea..thats kind of what my ex did...i used to pick him up from work when we were together...and then when we broke up..i had to have him pick me up from work cause i had no other way home. So then I said ill pick you up if you pick me up..so he said alright....i will never do that again. He was an ass the whole time we were driving to his apt. I just wanted to dump him on the side of the road i swear. CAuse i asked him to what happened to us being "friends" he was like sorry..in a mean tone..like im too goo for you tone. oh man. i hate guys i swear Link to post Share on other sites
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