Ceaser Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 Hi I am just wondering if anyone can recommend any good books on trying to save a marriage? We may have a bit of a wait to see an MC so I am really looking for any recommendations for books in the meantime?
tojaz Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 Hi I am just wondering if anyone can recommend any good books on trying to save a marriage? We may have a bit of a wait to see an MC so I am really looking for any recommendations for books in the meantime? "Reconcilable Differences" by Andrew Christensen "Divorce Busting" by Michelle Weiner-Davis Both very good, but with the books you have to remember that they are not a roadmap. Just like the advice here, you have to take what they give you and adapt it to your own unique situation. TOJAZ
Nukem Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 And also remember very well: the wisdom is not only in reading but in applying what you've read
worldgonewrong Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 And remember too - you might be offered the greatest written advice in the world, BUT...if the other party is bull-headed, it still won't work. No matter how 'right' and 'correct' you're doing things on your end.
Owl Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 I'll give you one that you're not likely to see here: "20 (Surprisingly Simple!) Rules and Tools for a Great Marriage" by Dr Steve Stephens. Pretty much saved my marriage. Also, "Surviving an Affair", and "The Five Love Languages".
worldgonewrong Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 Sidebar- Owl, if you're reading - I have seen you offer a lot of good advice & such here on LS. Just curious - what was the duration of your separation? did you both actually separate? I tried gleaning your situation from your older threads, but couldn't quite timeline it. Just trying to get some comparative perspective. thanks.
Owl Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 We didn't truly, completely seperate. Shortly after d-day, she decided she wanted to seperate but we couldn't afford to at the time. So we did an 'in house' seperation for about 3 weeks, while she prepared to move on to a full blown seperation. During that time, I slept in the finished basement, and she slept in the living room. Neither of us felt like going back to the bedroom. During this time, I was making it clear that I'd help her 'get out on her own' if that's what she wanted, but I was NOT willing to help her find a life with OM. One night she started talking about signing a lease for an apartment...what would have ended up being a year long lease. She indicated that she felt we'd be seperated at least that long, and that she intended to see where things were with both me and with OM during that time. The next day I went and had my free session with a laywer and learned about divorce in our state. Got home that night and let her know all about that trip, and informed her that I had no intention of putting my life on hold for a year or more. If she wanted out...we'd divorce and see where we were in a year if that's what she wanted. That night she realized what she was doing. That was when she finally, truly made a decision. So our 'seperation' was in house for about 3-4 weeks total. Not sure that it would truly count as a seperation...but it sucked! 1
xenomorph Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 "Why men love bitches" and/or "Why men marry bitches" -- Sherry Argov Written for women, or anyone co-dependent, but also not a bad place for men to learn to identify what kind of traits a quality woman should have (assuming the curious guy is a quality person himself). These books got me back to my feet and back to my ol' self when my self-esteem was shot down to the ground by my manipulative G.I.G.S. infected ex.
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