Author JEL123 Posted April 19, 2012 Author Share Posted April 19, 2012 Hello all, Update: Last night I went out with all my buddies for a few beers. As I was leaving the bar a girl came up to me and we hit it off very quick. Things escalated and one thing lead to another, and we ended up sleeping together. This morning I felt okay about everything, thinking it is was just something of a fling. But as time went on, I kept thinking about my ex and had bad feelings about myself for doing something so quick with another woman. What should I do to not feel so bad about myself? Link to post Share on other sites
SilverBlueAndGold Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 Hello all, Update: Last night I went out with all my buddies for a few beers. As I was leaving the bar a girl came up to me and we hit it off very quick. Things escalated and one thing lead to another, and we ended up sleeping together. This morning I felt okay about everything, thinking it is was just something of a fling. But as time went on, I kept thinking about my ex and had bad feelings about myself for doing something so quick with another woman. What should I do to not feel so bad about myself? Just live life. Keep busy, get out there like you are. If you are feeling it with a woman than go for it, if it makes you have bad feelings then...dont! It seems like a simple solution, because it is. Keep busy, dont let yourself sit around and mope. When you get blindsided by something that triggers a memory or emotion, and you will, just take a deep breath and keep going. Link to post Share on other sites
john 07 Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 It seems you dealt with alot already. The second break up does seem premature. I think you should have talked about it for a bit with her to find her true intentions that night. Well best of luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Author JEL123 Posted April 24, 2012 Author Share Posted April 24, 2012 Hey everyone, Its been about 18 days I think since I have broken things off with my ex. I still feel pretty down about things, but for some reason I am starting to doubt like what I did was the wrong move. I guess its my mind playing games with me or something as deep down inside I just know that she wasn't the girl I saw a future with. Any tips or suggestion on how to get rid of this feeling of doubt? Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
SilverBlueAndGold Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 Hey everyone, Its been about 18 days I think since I have broken things off with my ex. I still feel pretty down about things, but for some reason I am starting to doubt like what I did was the wrong move. I guess its my mind playing games with me or something as deep down inside I just know that she wasn't the girl I saw a future with. Any tips or suggestion on how to get rid of this feeling of doubt? Thanks That's normal, your mind is going to play tricks on you because your world is upside down. Its a temporary phase. It takes time, there are just no shortcuts. It's been about 5 weeks for me and I am already feeling better, just hang in there. And DONT do anything impulsive, you will most likely regret it. Link to post Share on other sites
HeartCure Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 Yes, this is what i guess has made it really difficult. For some dumb reason I want for her to fight for me, but maybe its that she really doesn't care. I gave her everything, she was my first relationship and first love. I know I deserve more its just going to be hard to get back on my feet, as this past year and half was me devoted to making her happy. Any advice on getting over the "first" love? Would be very helpful. Thanks everyone for your replies it really helps! First love is always the one that hits you the hardest.You could just cry and be miserable with it or you could learn from it Fighting for a girl that won't reciprocate your actions is just silly,it ain't gonna do the two of you any good since its like one-sided love.Try going NC for around 3 months? For me it took me nearly 6-7 months to get over my first girl.Stay strong, a better girl is waiting for you out there Link to post Share on other sites
Author JEL123 Posted May 4, 2012 Author Share Posted May 4, 2012 Hello again everyone, Today is day 30 of NC with my ex girlfriend. She also has not tried to get in touch with me either. This has been a crazy rollercoaster of emotions this past month. I miss her, yet I understand she was not the one for me. Somedays I feel bad about being the dumper, but somedays I am proud of the amount of respect I believe I have for myself knowing that I deserve better. I miss being there for her, I know that I was a big part of her life. There will always be a place for her in my heart. With today being Day 30 of NC, I have been thinking about her constantly and replaying all the good times that we had in my head. I sometimes wish things would have been different. But God has a plan for everyone so I am putting my faith in him. I want to thank everyone who gave their insight on my forum. If anyone has any more encouraging advice to add on to this thread, it would be greatly appreciated as it really does help. Link to post Share on other sites
daisy088 Posted May 4, 2012 Share Posted May 4, 2012 To be 100% honest, I am going to disagree with a few of the posters above. Your attitudes about her talking to other males seems a little archaic at best and controlling at worst. My ex broke up with me because I am flirtatious and talked about other guys with my girlfriends (jokingly) and had 2 male friends (platonic) who I kept in touch with. Although I realize some of my behaviors now, were immature and inappropriate (this is the main lesson I have learned from the relationship), I still wish our love hadn't been lost. Im a firm believer that if you really love someone and the relationship is good (you have fun together, she is kind and loving, shes affectionate with you, wants to be around you, wants to learn about you, your hopes and dreams, nurtures you, and sticks by your side through the tough times), that you should not toss it out the window so fast. People should communicate their feelings and give each other time and chances to correct mistakes. The only thing I feel concerned about is the fact that she has not contacted you. Have you not seen her since? Heard about how she is doing? Perhaps she doesnt want to damage her pride when you were the one who dumped her? I think you know your situation best out of any of us. If you know you will be better off without her, then youre probably right however if you really love her and know she really loves you- think things through. Link to post Share on other sites
Jono85 Posted May 5, 2012 Share Posted May 5, 2012 imo flirty girls and girls that crave male attention just aren't worth it. to me, in relationships, they're like recovering alcoholics. it seems much harder for them to remain faithful then girls who don't need male attention to get by. you're probably more at risk to get cheated on by a girl that puts herself in vulnerable situations, than by a girl that doesn't and only needs her man's attention. so i'm not saying every girl who's flirty and has predominantly male friends WILL cheat, not at all, but they're just not worth the effort to me. i do think there's a liklihood of some 'daddy issues' there as well (maybe father didn't give them enough attention or wasn't there, etc). OP u did the right thing. and like another poster said, it really doesn't sound like she fought tooth and nail to keep you and beg for your forgiveness b/c she broke your trust, so for all you know she's been looking for another guy for some time. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts