Caveman Posted June 18, 2004 Share Posted June 18, 2004 When you get dumped by someone you are absolutely in love with (I'm no kid...34) it is brutal, the worst feeling I have ever experienced...been going on like this since April 20...Someone described the feeling like this, "It's like being in a never-ending plane crash". Not a bad analogy...I'm sure there are others that fit the bill... Link to post Share on other sites
unreal Posted June 18, 2004 Share Posted June 18, 2004 Yeah, you are right about that. It is also like dealing with a death of someone you care deeply for. At least in my case, I know I will never see my ex's face again or talk to her ever again. So it is a death. Link to post Share on other sites
thecake Posted June 18, 2004 Share Posted June 18, 2004 I think. I'm 31 and basically got dumped (he says I dumped him so that point is up in the air) for the first time in my life. In hindsight, yes, I can understand all of the reasons it wouldn't have worked but, man oh man....I think this was the first time in my life that I truly loved someone and I 've been married! How pathetic is that? I had never even cried over a guy before this. The good news is that it gets better...it really does. Of course, if someone had told me this a few months ago it wouldn't have mattered...you just have to take it day by day and grieve for something you wanted so badly and lost. However, I refuse to have regrets over this...I loved him and I know he loved me...but, there were real valid reasons it didn't work out. A suggestion if you're not already doing this....no contact. My ex and I kept in touch for months after our break up but it wasn't helping me in terms of letting go...I thought his constant contacting meant something more than it did. Once I stopped it's been a breeze.....I even went on a date last night and didn't think about my ex once. Link to post Share on other sites
jeff2705 Posted June 18, 2004 Share Posted June 18, 2004 For whatever it's worth, I am a guy also, and I think people think that it doesn't affect males as much as it might females in the same situation. I wouldn't be able to put an analogy on it, but I can tell you that I am going through the same thing, and it is absolutely the worst feeling you can have. It affects EVERY part of your life, believe me, I know, as you do. And there are bad things that happen to everyone everyday, but this is a feeling that you don't get from anything else bad that happens. To me, it feels like I'm carrying the weight of a piano on my back. And also, from looking at you, no one else would think that anything is wrong, but you are in so much pain. I would not wish this feeling on my worst enemy. The best thing to know is that you are NOT alone. There are others of us struggling with the same thing. So hang in. Link to post Share on other sites
unreal Posted June 18, 2004 Share Posted June 18, 2004 That is very much true. It does affect every part of your life. Your job, your family, your friends, just about everything. It is soo hard to realize that the person that you gave your entire heart to would do something like this to you. And worst of all, they seem not to care about doing so and instantly become a stranger to you all at once. You begin questioning yourself and blaming yourself for everything and asking "Why?". But one thing I'm slowly learning is that we may not always be to blame. Many factors go into a breakup and it does take two people to make or break a relationship. Most of the time a person never gets proper closure. So, you may think you know what was wrong and blame yourself, but what you are thinking may actually have nothing to do with you. The other partner who is leaving may have screwed up by cheating on you and can't face you to tell you about it. They may have mental problems, emotional problems or split personalities. They may have outside influences from friends or family. They may just not want to be committed to anyone at that point of their life. They may just want to whore around and play the field with no strings attached. And they may have cold feet and fear of settling down. There are always many reasons involved I imagine and sometimes you have no idea what is really going on and never will know what went wrong. Does that make you feel any better? No, but it is part of the grieving process. I believe once I am able to convince myself that the relationship is over, I can then heal. Until the reality comes full bloom, I will continue the pain and loss. Link to post Share on other sites
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