Boyfriend's Mom Drama

[Weppa_Leahx3]

Hi everyone ;]. This is my first post so bare with me.

 

My boyfriend and I have been together going on three yrs. Long story short, we are very serious, we have not only picked out an engagedment ring but my boyfriend bought it so we are soon to be engaged, last year on our anniversary we even did something outrageous and got our first tattoos that are of eachothers names. He is my everything. The only issue is, his mom.

 

My boyfriend grew up with only his mother, and his mother has done above and beyond for him and his sister and still maintaing making a life for herself. But she is very much overbaring when it comes to him. He is the first born, and out of him and his sister my boyfriend was the angel.

 

However he is 23 now. And hes a man, and yes him and I still live at home, due to several things but we are perparing to move out soon. The thing is..

 

I know his mom is a big part of his life. And thats great. His situation reminds me of my fathers. My dad grew up with only his mom. But, his mom (my grandma) caused A LOT of bull**** with my mother, for yearrrrrssss, but the one thing I can always respect my dad for is he always stuck up for my mom, and he always picked my mom.

 

Like I said from the begining, me and my boyfriend been togther going on three years, but ever sinse me and him made a year his mom will make little slick comments. At first I didn't think nothing of it. Until the day before our one year anniversary..

 

I was at his house, and he actually had to run to the store and I stayed behind. His family wanted to take a walk and so I tagged along. Me and his mother was talking about my hair and how I want something new, when all of a sudden she was like "yeah because i don't like all the stuff you put it your hair it doesn't look good". -_- like really? but I didn't take it serious and I started laughing and said "I am sorry I don't have your approval" and everyone was laughing. Well little did I know, she told him I was being disrepectful with that comment when I clearly wasn't. So that is when it all began.

 

Sometimes she will just say "You need to do this" or "you need to do that". I remember one time (my boyfriend used to have braces) she said "your going to have to becareful because hes going to have so many girls throughing themselfs at him when he gets his braces off" Like really?

 

My boyfriend is hispanic so he knows how to dance batchta and all that stuff and she would tell me "you need to learn because he loves to dance and he will go out without you". My boyfriend isn't the time to go out to a club without me so I was like wtf?

 

On Christmas Eve, I was talking to my boyfriends step dad, and he asked me "where yo raised where when you get married your husband comes first?" and I said yes (mind you my boyfriend and his mom are having a complete other convesation with themselves) she jumps in and was like "NO I don't believe in that blahbalhblahblah" and a big thing came out of that.

 

I just feel like she feels threatned. And I know thats bad to say, but what else could it be? I mean she had to know me and her son are serious, we got our names tatted up we are always talking about the future, we spend so much time together like wtf is going on?

 

It all comes down to she says little things like that, and I don't know if she is meaning how it comes out but its just like wtf. And my boyfriend gets mad at me and says I am the one being rude and blahblahblah and making it seem like its all me when its her too. I mean he has had talks with her but she gets all crazy and gets mad at him for sticking up for me or being mad at her.

 

My boyfriend is a good guy, and I understand he respects his mom, but he never speaks up. He doesn't tell her whats really going on. He just lets her say what she wants and he never says nothing. Its like when it comes to him mom he can't think for himself and it pisses me the **** off.

 

I'm not rude to her, I always go out of my way to say hello to her first and blahblahblah, I am always there for his family stuff , so wtf else do I need to do?

 

And then my boyfriend says **** like "you don't like my mom" when I never said that, I am the type of person where, if I don't like you no matter who you are, I wouldn't waste my time saying Hi to you, I wouldn't come to see your for your bday or anyone elses for that matter.

 

She needs to understand that her son is growing up, and we are going to be together and thats that. And apparently my boyfriend needs to speak up and stop making it seem like its all me. Hm

 

I just needed to vent. And sorry if I typed some things wrong, I am actually really pissed off so I am just typing awayyy lol.

 

Has anyone else been through this before or similar?

[turnera]

The only way this is going to be fixed is if you and he go to a therapist and discuss this so he can see he's going to have to stand up for you against his mom. Otherwise, you won't stay married long.