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Post here instead of contacting your abuser!


CopingGal

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If you have something to say to your abuser, but do not want to contact him or her, you can post it here.

 

There is something similar to this in the coping forum. But that is to contact your ex. This is to contact your abuser. It may be the same person. But then again, it may not be. I hope this link helps people.

 

Let me start it off.

 

Hey L,

 

I will never contact you again for any reason. I never want to see you again. I never want to talk to you again. I am making a point to stay away from men who abuse me.

 

I hate what you did to me- the psychological abuse, the emotional abuse, and you feeling proud of it...feeling like it was necessary and warranted to get what you wanted. You are a very sick and disgusting person. You will never be able to run away from yourself. You are stuck with yourself. That's a good punishment for you, although you deserve much more.

 

You kept me under your thumb on and off for three years by way of your lies and your controlling behavior. One of the best things I've ever done in my life was DUMPING you! I know you are a loser. I hope one day you will know it too.

 

-S

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To anyone, & everyone who has ever treated me abusively--

 

I reject each & every unflattering, demeaning label you have ever assigned to me, as you attempted to ease your lack of self-worth by putting me down.

 

The only person who can truly define me--

is.........me.

 

I will defeat you by not allowing you to turn me into the same kind of person you are. I will hold onto my sense of kindness, fairness, & compassion.

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I've never known someone who was proud to abuse someone the way you were with me. I will never allow myself to be alone with you again. Although you never physically abused me, it's dangerous to be alone with someone who has no conscious and who psychologically abused me. Thanks for showing me how screwed up your were. You're not capable of being a good partner to anyone. You poor bastard, you poor, poor, poor bastard.

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I'm glad to find something like this =)

 

Monster,

How can you possibly live in a world where you think you are so perfect. There was even a point in out relationship you thought I was controlling. Because of you I feel so damaged inside and out. Mentally I feel so screwed up in thinking...I can't even open up to anyone or trust anyone anymore. My heart is still broken so who cares about love...loving on a broken heart will only cause pain. Thats something your whore ass should learn. Remember those nights you would call me on the phone and we would literally stay silent for hours....but you still wouldn't let me go to bed. Or do you remember the countless times you swerved on the road at night and freaked me the hell out. I still have a fear of wrecking you jerk.

I don't wanna be mentally screwed up monster. But I wish you weren't either. Maybe you are just evil deep inside.

 

Hate you!

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The fact that you abused me psychologically and emotionally and thought it was fun hurts more than you know. Every once and a while, I ask myself...why? I don't do it every day because I know there are no answers, only lies and more lies. But sometimes I feel real down and I wonder how could you have done those things to me? You seemed to have enjoyed making me suffer and harassing me in the end. Why? I can't believe that you call yourself a marytr. The fact that you do after every bad thing you have done tells me how sick in the head you really are.

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  • 2 weeks later...
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Hmmm, I'm not sure why people don't want to tell their abuser off here.

Anyway,

 

I'm so glad that I have stayed away from you. It's very hard getting past the abuse you inflicted on me. One day I will find lots of pity for you. You live a miserable existence and you will never get anywhere in life because you are too dysfunctional. For three years you have done nothing but go around in a circle. I'm glad you are out of my life.

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You psychologically abused me and you thought it was funny. I have no idea what kind of evil lurks in your mind. I don't love you because I don't know you. All I know are the lies you told. You are an evil, horrid person and you deserve every bad thing that happens to you.

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I'm taking my life back. I won't let you ruin it.

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Some people are just lost. I hope I never meet anyone like you again. You don't understand how you abuse people. As long as you get your way, you think it's all good. I wonder how your family would feel if they knew you were an emotional abuser. You can't go on like this. Sooner or later somone is going to kick your arse. You're not worth my effort. But someday someone might not feel that way.

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I thank God everyday that you are now in prison and will be there until you are in your 60's. You didn't get much punishment for what you did to me, but it finally caught up to you 3 abused women later. My daughter will be a grown woman and safe from your threats on her life. And I am safe to live and love again.

 

You tried real hard to kill me, I will never forget the feeling of those blows to the head. I will always bear the scars that you inflicted on me. But I have news for you honey.

 

IM STILL HERE!

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CopingGal,

 

I was struck by 2 comments you made about your abusive ex:

1) He abused out of the need for "control".

2) He seemed to get "enjoyment" out of it.

 

That scares me. My wife occasionally would SMIRK or show a half-smile while going on one of her abuse tirades. I didn't realize how sick that was until now. Additionally, I've read that an abuser's prime motivator is, in fact, the need for control. My wife's need for control was so incredibly great and that's exactly what caused her to resort to abuse.

 

Anyway...sorry to derail the point of this thread. Back to business....

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CopingGal,

 

I was struck by 2 comments you made about your abusive ex:

1) He abused out of the need for "control".

2) He seemed to get "enjoyment" out of it.

 

That scares me. My wife occasionally would SMIRK or show a half-smile while going on one of her abuse tirades. I didn't realize how sick that was until now. Additionally, I've read that an abuser's prime motivator is, in fact, the need for control. My wife's need for control was so incredibly great and that's exactly what caused her to resort to abuse.

 

Anyway...sorry to derail the point of this thread. Back to business....

 

You don't have to apolgize. It's fine with me. I'm sorry you went through a lot. Yes, my ex was very controlling, but a lot of that I was unaware of throughout the relationship because of the lies and the manipulations. He enjoyed pretending to be my boyfriend when in reality he was using me as backup. And yes, at the end of our relationship, after I left him, he seemed to enjoy inflicting all of this stuff on me: info about the woman he cheated with, the fact that he was only pretending to be my boyfriend, their up coming wedding, which did not happen to the best of my knowledge, and how he cheated on me. He seemed to enjoy some of it and wouldn't stop contacting me to tell me about her when I was suffering because I had to deal with all of that. But he has stopped now and we have absolutely no contact between us. I'm not as angry as I used to be. I have more pity for him than I had before. It's very sad that I know someone like that but at least I have no contact with him at all. IF in the future he starts harassing me again with unwanted phone calls and texts about his new gf, or trying to force friendship on me, which he also did before, I am prepared to report him to the police.

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I feel very, very lucky to have you out of my life. I wish I could spray my whole body with antiseptic because you are a very dirty, nasty, and perverted person.

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  • 1 month later...
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Today I wrote in my journal about you. I became reminded of the terrible treatment you gave me last year and I cried and cried this morning. Never has any bf of mine treated me to terribly. I've never known anyone like you and I hope I never will again.

 

But everytime I tell the story of you, whether it's to my journal, my friends, or on LS, one thing remains crystal clear to me...that you are mentally ill.

 

You are a sick, sick, sick man. You use and abuse. You manipulate and then go crying to whomever will listen about how badly women treat you.

 

I've never known any bf who was that sick before in my life. One of my exes had hallucinations, and you are still sicker than he ever was.

 

I know you like using people and then stomping all over them. I know you got a real kick out of doing it to me...out of making me suffer while you threw that old hag in my face...that alcoholic.

 

You never wanted a smart, kind woman like myself. You only pretended to. What you wanted was a loose, dirty, trashy, alcoholic and you got her and even she dumped you. You are simply not good enough for anyone.

 

I will never give you the chance to psychologically abuse me again...never. I've been total NC for 110 days and I will go 110 times one billion more.

 

Go abuse yourself, it's all your good for any way.

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I don't hold anything against you. You might be troubled with a lot of emotional baggage, and I wish I could've been strong enough to handle it, but I wasn't. So I hope everything works out for you and you get what you want out of life. There very well might be a man out there stronger than me who will make you happy. I can accept that.

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Finding out that you trashed my name in my absence makes me feel warm and fuzzy all over...............

 

Or, maybe that's just the blood from the knife in my back.:mad:

 

(whoops, is my sarcasm showing again?)

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  • 2 months later...
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I hate that you are back in my town. But I will never ever let you psychologically or emotionally abuse me again. You are completely irrelevant to me. I'm sorry you are so dysfunctional. But that is your problem, not mine.

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  • 3 weeks later...
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I cried my eyes out today. It was a week ago that I saw you again, acting innocent as usual and with that woman you kept throwing in my face after you told me you cheated. I see she took you back yet again. She's a victim of physical abuse and now she's with someone who will abuse her psychologically. You just keep going through life destroying more and more people and not looking back to see damage you inflict on others.

 

AFter I wept and wept, I went back to my school project. The project is wonderful and focused on trying to understand disabled people more. That's what I do with my time. You spend your free time trying to figure out who you are going to take advantage of and how you are going to do it. You are pathetic. You're also a thief and a slut. You're a real prize, you know that?

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I'm settling in with what you did not me. I think I'm going to be okay. You are not capable of truly good things...only bad things, lies, and good things only if you have an agenda attached to it. But I think I'm going to be okay with that. I take pity on you.

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