nyckidd Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 I went to my professors office today to see if she could sign some papers for me. I was in the back section where the chairs are so no one could see me. She was gossiping with all the other professors before she got to the office so I just waited because I didn't want to be rude and interrupt her. All of a sudden a professor brought up my name and they all started talking about me. I have had all of them for classes and I get good grades and am very involved with the school. The one was talking about how me and her got in an argument in class yesterday because no one knew about this project and she was saying it was our faults. I was the only one who spoke up when she asked why no one had their information. I guess she didn't like this even though I wasn't rude about it... They were all saying I'm mr arogent which is weird because I've treated them with nothing absolute respect since the first day I met them and was always involved etc. I asked my one prof for advice on which school to transfer to, and she turns around and tells them that I was asking pointless questions etc. All I wanted was her advice cause I respected her. Well to make a long story short they noticed I was sitting their and quickly shut up. My prof went into her office and put her not available sign up, and did not answer when I knocked. I'm not sure how to take all of this, I get good grades, and I'm transferring to a great school next year. I'm only 19 so it amazes me how much I affect these grown women's life's to the point where they need to all (about 4 of them) gossip about me. How should I take this? And what should I do from here? I still have 2 of them teaching me on a daily basis.... Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 Nobody likes being corrected even if they are in the wrong, especially by a 19 year old student. Sounds like she was just blowing off steam with her colleagues who might have had similar experiences. I wouldn't worry much about it as long as she isn't giving you bad grades out of spite. Link to post Share on other sites
NXS Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 This must hurt, it's very unprofessional behaviour. Putting up her sign afterwards and not answering your knock was extremely rude. Not sure what you can do here, if you want to report them then it would probably be better waiting until you've left the school so it doesn't further affect your dealings with them and distract you from your studies. I'd suggest just having as little interaction with them as possible and look forward to getting out of there. Btw what did you say to her in the class? Link to post Share on other sites
Author nyckidd Posted April 17, 2012 Author Share Posted April 17, 2012 This must hurt, it's very unprofessional behaviour. Putting up her sign afterwards and not answering your knock was extremely rude. Not sure what you can do here, if you want to report them then it would probably be better waiting until you've left the school so it doesn't further affect your dealings with them and distract you from your studies. I'd suggest just having as little interaction with them as possible and look forward to getting out of there. Btw what did you say to her in the class? I know and the one who closed the door wasn't even the one I ever had a problem with. But. This is exactly what I said in her response to does anyone want to speak up, " well if everyone in the class is unprepared and didn't know what to expect from this project I think there was obviously some sort of miss communication." then she went on to say how she always reminds us, which she doesn't. Then she said how could she improve, and I said" perhaps this could all be in writing so we have some type of rubric that explains exactly what you want." everyone agreed with me after class but was to frightened to say anything during class. Link to post Share on other sites
Author nyckidd Posted April 17, 2012 Author Share Posted April 17, 2012 Nobody likes being corrected even if they are in the wrong, especially by a 19 year old student. Sounds like she was just blowing off steam with her colleagues who might have had similar experiences. I wouldn't worry much about it as long as she isn't giving you bad grades out of spite. Yea that's a good point Link to post Share on other sites
NXS Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 I know and the one who closed the door wasn't even the one I ever had a problem with. But. This is exactly what I said in her response to does anyone want to speak up, " well if everyone in the class is unprepared and didn't know what to expect from this project I think there was obviously some sort of miss communication." then she went on to say how she always reminds us, which she doesn't. Then she said how could she improve, and I said" perhaps this could all be in writing so we have some type of rubric that explains exactly what you want." everyone agreed with me after class but was to frightened to say anything during class. Working in a public speaking area can be daunting unless the person is very comfortable at it, which most aren't. So if you have any kind of question or criticism it's best to be tactful in your approach. Don't try and speak for everyone unless you're in a job that pays you to do it. If people aren't willing to stand up for themselves then tough, don't speak for them, if they want to be sheep then let them. So when she asked if anyone had anything to say you should've just talked about yourself and that you didn't understand what was required. If others felt the same then that would be the opportunity for them to speak up as well. Link to post Share on other sites
NeverDated Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 This is a big problem in most universities. The profs want to be "teachers" - they want classes they can cram full of rote information before walking away. It is very hard to find a prof that is willing to be an actual professor. It's part of the societal trend toward delayed adulthood - a 19 year old college freshman/sophomore is no better than a junior/senior in high school is no better than a 7th or 8th grader. They fail to recognize that many of their students are trending more toward adult and perpetual adolescent, and refuse to treat students with respect. In short, you failed to sit down, shut up and let them get on with their life. You dared to expect that a university lecture could become an open forum. It's their problem, not yours, so just keep at what you're doing. It's not always true, but "better" unis are more likely to have true profs who are willing to accept conversation and tangents without getting their panties in a bunch. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 They were all saying I'm mr arogent This would be my big red flag and potential learning experience. Everyone of them were talking about your arrogance? If it was each and everyone of them, I would take that to heart and do some introspection about WHY every one of them sees you that way... It doesn't excuse what happened or why, but might be an eye opener to how others view you. Link to post Share on other sites
Almond_Joy Posted April 17, 2012 Share Posted April 17, 2012 If she didn't want to be constructively criticized, she shouldn't have asked if anyone had something to say OR what she could do to improve. I agree with another poster here that the gossiping was very unprofessional, but that she and her colleagues were just blowing off steam. If they don't like you, there's nothing you can do about it. If it bothers you that much, and you really do respect the opinions of these professors, maybe you can contact them after you transfer and ask what about your behavior they find arrogant and if they have suggestions on how to work on that perception. But after you transfer. Link to post Share on other sites
dizy Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 I find their behaviour childish and extremely unprofessional. As a college student myself, obviously I wasn't expecting to find my best prof buddy in university, but at least, I see them as knowledgeable people that I can turn to and that I should respect. College profs with PHDs and in their 30s 40s acting like 3 years old make me sick, not that it ever happened to me. i mean, seriously, not answering the door when you knocked? can she at least have the minimum social politeness to reply that she is busy? I wouldn't waste my time talking to them about what is bothering them. After all, you can only reason with reasonable people. and since you are going to transfer to another school anyway just avoid them unless you really have to talk to them. Link to post Share on other sites
writergal Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 She one was talking about how me and her got in an argument in class yesterday because no one knew about this project and she was saying it was our faults. I was the only one who spoke up when she asked why no one had their information. I guess she didn't like this even though I wasn't rude about it... Well what exactly happened? None of the other students had proof of their work and you defended them? Speaking as a former community college instructor, I could see why she would be put off if you were defending your classmates knowing they too didn't do the work she expected of them. So her comments about you being arrogant were more directed at your behavior of defending a group of students who she perceived as lazy for not doing their work. So you argued. Time to diffuse it and address the gossip you overheard without causing more conflict. First thing you need to do is apologize for participating in an argument. Yes it sucks that you overheard negative comments from your professor that hurt your feelings. But remember, she was most likely venting about your behavior during the argument, not about you as a person overall. By apologizing you are showing her respect which will diffuse any leftover frustration she may have about her argument with you. No professor enjoys arguing with a student. People go into teaching for the love of working with students. You could address the argument, "I realize things got heated when we discussed the missing information from my group and I wanted to apologize if I came across rude (or whatever script you want to use)." The more you explain why you spoke up, the more likely your professor will understand where you were coming from. Just do it in a calm manner. Don't put her on the defense even if you think she deserves it for overhearing her vent her feelings about what happened to her colleagues. Just as you probably vented to your friends, and to us here, your professor is a person too who just finished arguing with a student that upset her, so she sought support from colleagues by venting when you just happened to stop by her office at the same time. Case of bad timing. Just apologize and explain your behavior so you can both clear up and start over. Then I think everything will be fine after that. Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 ppl talk they sit around and act agreeable to be polite, u OP must smile at ppl more, as an antidote to the roast, i am sorry for u OP Link to post Share on other sites
JesseJames Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 You are paying their way in life. Why? I don't know. If you do not like the performance your money is giving you, demand more quality for it or get your money back. 19 year-olds is so gullible. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 I'm not sure how to take all of this, I get good grades, and I'm transferring to a great school next year. I'm only 19 so it amazes me how much I affect these grown women's life's to the point where they need to all (about 4 of them) gossip about me. How should I take this? And what should I do from here? I still have 2 of them teaching me on a daily basis.... While I don't know you nor the women I can just imagine what their conversation would have been like, I remember being back at school. First of all, they would have all felt they should support eachother so they had to agree on something (like a common enemy). Secondly, the person you corrected in public is perhaps a more powerful figure whom not many would criticise. This is very similar to office politics. One person starts moaning about a colleague and others chip in with their lot... it won't be the last time you experience this. It was extremely childish of that particular lecturer or professor to shut herself in her office and not answer your knock. Kind of tells you what you need to know really. Writergal's advice is probably the best in terms of allowing you to get out of the conflict though. Sometimes it sucks to apologise but it tends to take the wind out of the other person's sail. Link to post Share on other sites
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