lioness diva Posted June 18, 2004 Share Posted June 18, 2004 I'm having problems with...I'm not sure what to call him. I can't exactly call him my boyfriend, because we never "officially declared" that we were dating. But we did many things that couples do, like going on dates and of course, showing each other lots of physical affection. Anyway, things were great up until late April, early May. That's when we got out of school (college). I suggested that we get together sometime soon, as we'd always done before. He said yeah, he'd e-mail me (we never got into the habit of calling each other, since we usually saw each other at school, and we prefer e-mail over phones anyway), but he never did. I e-mailed him as a reminder, since he is a bit forgetful, but throughout the month of May he just kept making excuses as to why he couldn't get together: he was depressed, or busy, or whatever. Now you might automatically think he's blowing me off for another female. And that's possible, but not likely. It would take a million years to explain, but I'm pretty sure it's not another girl that's the problem. He's very shy, and never approaches people, and he's pretty eccentric, so I don't think there are many females that could entice him anyway. But the past few weeks have been the worst: I e-mailed him a couple of times, not suggesting we get together or anything, but just a chatty, friendly e-mail about what's going on in my life, and asking him about his. He ignored those, and when I e-mailed him asking if I'd offended him or something, and that I hoped we were still friends, he just said he'd been lazy about checking his e-mail, which is bull hockey, because he responded to my last e-mail right away. I believe that he's been depressed, though I don't know why. I also know that he's been hurt severely by someone in his past, and so I wonder if it's the classic "afraid of his feelings" thing. But it kills me, cause I do have fears about there being another female, or I wonder if he just lost interest in me for some other reason. I know people will probably say to just give up and leave him alone; he's obviously not being responsive. And I am going to leave him alone, for a little while. But I'm wondering what other people's opinions are on what I should do or not do, and what his problem might be. I appreciate everyone's advice, and thanks for reading through the whole thing, too. If any clarification on what I said is needed, just ask. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
uriel Posted June 19, 2004 Share Posted June 19, 2004 If you are really attracted and in love with someone, depression doesn't keep you away from them. Nothing does. That feeling is so great, it pulls you toward the other person. I think you need to accept this guy doesn't feel the way about you that you'd like him to. Sorry. My best advice is: Stop thinking about how he's feeling, and think more about how he's making YOU feel. Wouldn't it feel much better to be involved with someone who sought you out and got back to you because he felt a thrill to know you wanted to talk to him? Don't you think you deserve that? -- uriel Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted June 19, 2004 Share Posted June 19, 2004 If you are really attracted and in love with someone, depression doesn't keep you away from them. Sorry, but that's untrue. Depression at its worst paralyzes people. Please don't make such unsupported statements. Link to post Share on other sites
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