REALLY Angry ex

[kalik]

Well, I sent her a final email and told her that I was not playing games with her, and that even though we didn't work out I would remember the good times we had, but it was important for her not to see or talk to me right now. I said that although I didn't feel the way I used to, I loved her for the wonderful person she is, and that I want her to be happy. I know she was saying that she didn't love me and that she never wanted anything to do with me again, and that she never gets back with her ex's just to try and hurt my feelings. But I'm past that. I'm past what was.

 

I honestly just wanted her to be happy, and told her that it was probably for the best. And she accused me of talking to the people at work about her, and having them try and get in on her life. I haven't spoken to anyone at my old workplace (her new workplace) for two weeks. She said that I was a psycho and to leave her alone.

 

But that's exactly what I've been doing. I'm not the one telling her to come and see me at work, I'm not he one coming by where she lives to see her. I'm not the one leaving voicemails every few days. She said that she doesn't want me in her life ever again. I said that that was her decision to make.

 

I do love her and care for her, but not the way I did. I just love her as a person that I once cared very deeply about. I was actually afraid that she was going to mess with my car, or harass me. Why is she still doing this to me? Is she just trying to hurt my feelings? Is this her way of trying to feel better about herself? I stopped caring about all of this until she sent me her last two emails. That's when she went ballistic on me. What is her deal?

 

Any ideas?

 

Jeremy

[Deejette]

It just seems that you are still obsessed with her, otherwise, you wouldn't even send any e-mail to her. Even if she sent stuff to you, you would not respond, if it were truly over. But it is not over for you, obviously.

 

You seem to be sending mixed messages saying that you only want her happiness but you show hostility towards her. She needs to stop contacting you and if you keep reacting it just prolongs the break-up, making it uglier and uglier and cancelling out any good aspects of the relationship that once was.

 

Clean breaks are a good thing when things really don't work out. This one sounds messy and ragged around the edges.

 

Well, I sent her a final email and told her that I was not playing games with her, and that even though we didn't work out I would remember the good times we had, but it was important for her not to see or talk to me right now. I said that although I didn't feel the way I used to, I loved her for the wonderful person she is, and that I want her to be happy. I know she was saying that she didn't love me and that she never wanted anything to do with me again, and that she never gets back with her ex's just to try and hurt my feelings. But I'm past that. I'm past what was.

 

I honestly just wanted her to be happy, and told her that it was probably for the best. And she accused me of talking to the people at work about her, and having them try and get in on her life. I haven't spoken to anyone at my old workplace (her new workplace) for two weeks. She said that I was a psycho and to leave her alone. But that's exactly what I've been doing. I'm not the one telling her to come and see me at work, I'm not he one coming by where she lives to see her. I'm not the one leaving voicemails every few days. She said that she doesn't want me in her life ever again. I said that that was her decision to make. I do love her and care for her, but not the way I did. I just love her as a person that I once cared very deeply about. I was actually afraid that she was going to mess with my car, or harass me. Why is she still doing this to me? Is she just trying to hurt my feelings? Is this her way of trying to feel better about herself? I stopped caring about all of this until she sent me her last two emails. That's when she went ballistic on me. What is her deal? Any ideas? Jeremy

[Tony T]

Do not respond to her Emails. Do not respond to her voice mail. Do not send messages to her. Do not say more than hello if you happen to run into her, tell her you are in a hurry. Do not discuss her with friends so word may get back to her. Just write her out of your life.

 

The past is the past and it's over. She is showing you very clearly by her behavior that she is NOT the person for you. Get her out of your life and leave her out.

 

You do not need this girl for a friend.

 

It is very difficult to rationalize the behavior of someone who is insane. Her behavior is that of a sociopath. If she were a man with an extra measure of testosterone, she might be very dangerous. You must absolutely stay clear of people who are this crazy.

 

If you follow my directions in the first paragraph, she will eventually leave you alone to find a better life for yourself. Even the lowliest of bacteria do not repeat behavior that gets no response.

 

If her Emails become harassing or threatening, let her know if she continues you will notify police. This is a serious matter and you need no part of it.