Stilnaught Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 (edited) Hey all, i didn't know where to post this one, but since it centers around someone who is desperately searching a girlfriend, this seemed appropriate. When i broke up with my ex, a common friend kind of jumped at her. He listened to her for days, until she realised they were getting too close, while she still wept about missing me etc etc. At that point, he declared his love for her, and started to become attached. I do not know all the details (lucky enough), but what they both seperately told me: they kissed eventually, they had some good and terrible moments for a short while, and at the end she distanced herself from him. She now clearly told me that kissing him was the gravest mistake she made in years, that he was a pure rebound, that she didn't even want to think about having him as a lover. He did some weird **** after that, including harassing her and threatening to expose some things she told him in confidence, if she refused to see him any longer. Now, 2 other mutual friends separated. And he jumped straight at the newly single girl, making movie night plans etc for the 2 of them. I'm not surprising anyone by telling that he is not the most clever or handsome guy on earth. However, i can't stop thinking about the matter, and i feel an urge to intervene, because i feel nothing but disgust for someone who preys on women at an emotionally rough time, on purpose. And i don't know what to do with my judgement. He isn't doing anything wrong, but his intentions and dealings are. Should i say something about this matter or not? (PS: my ex is involved, but has little impact on the story. I'd be in the same situation when it was a random female friend, perhaps a little bit less involved but still thinking) Edited April 18, 2012 by Stilnaught Link to post Share on other sites
january2011 Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 You could try talking to him, but will he listen? You could try talking to the girl he's targeting, but will she listen? I don't think there's a lot you can do. Sometimes, people have to fall flat on their face very badly before they're open to any interventions from third-parties. Link to post Share on other sites
NateC Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 There's not a whole lot you can do unfortunately. I've seen very similar situations myself and as much as I want to do something about it, I know it's not my place. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 There is something "off" about a guy that pounces on a woman fresh out of a relationship. He is cashing in on her vulnerability because he doesn't feel confident enough to pursue a healthy woman. If he chases women that are freshly wounded, it's because he isn't emotionally healthy enough to pursue anything that isn't damaged. He's a very weak person. Believe me when I tell you this guy has some major issues. Would I speak to him about it? No, it wouldn't do any good. I would dump him as a friend immediately. He's an emotional scavenger. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
NateC Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 There is something "off" about a guy that pounces on a woman fresh out of a relationship. He is cashing in on her vulnerability because he doesn't feel confident enough to pursue a healthy woman. If he chases women that are freshly wounded, it's because he isn't emotionally healthy enough to pursue anything that isn't damaged. He's a very weak person. Believe me when I tell you this guy has some major issues. Would I speak to him about it? No, it wouldn't do any good. I would dump him as a friend immediately. He's an emotional scavenger. Sometimes guys don't really realize what they're doing though...I do admit I was guilty of it once, but I caught myself and was just there as a friend. The last thing someone needs while trying to recover from a broken relationship is someone else trying to get through. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted April 20, 2012 Share Posted April 20, 2012 Sometimes guys don't really realize what they're doing though...I do admit I was guilty of it once, but I caught myself and was just there as a friend. The last thing someone needs while trying to recover from a broken relationship is someone else trying to get through. There is guilty of doing it once, and just being "that guy" that does it all the time. The guy that does it all the time has an issue- the guy that has done it once isn't the kind of guy the OP is describing. You're good Nate;) Link to post Share on other sites
SushiX Posted April 30, 2012 Share Posted April 30, 2012 There is something "off" about a guy that pounces on a woman fresh out of a relationship. He is cashing in on her vulnerability because he doesn't feel confident enough to pursue a healthy woman. If he chases women that are freshly wounded, it's because he isn't emotionally healthy enough to pursue anything that isn't damaged. He's a very weak person. Believe me when I tell you this guy has some major issues. Would I speak to him about it? No, it wouldn't do any good. I would dump him as a friend immediately. He's an emotional scavenger. Maybe he's just playing the field and getting whatever he can get. It doesn't mean he's weak. And nothing wrong with having fun. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted April 30, 2012 Share Posted April 30, 2012 This happened to me with a male friend (actually mutual friend of me and the ex), who made his move 2 days after we broke up I pretty much lost all respect for him. Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted April 30, 2012 Share Posted April 30, 2012 at a party, i once had a male friend whisper to "be careful of hisnamehere" i already saw hisnamehere as dodgy, it was something about him, but a quiet "be careful of..." is doable and downright gallant to me, as a woman Link to post Share on other sites
dfjfjsd54 Posted April 30, 2012 Share Posted April 30, 2012 Thanks for your post. Link to post Share on other sites
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