tommycapnpants Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 (edited) so, i am thinking about deactivating my facebook account. i am the dumpee (almost a month now) and have posted on the 2nd chance and LDR page. anyway, i had been nc with my ex for the better part of 3 weeks. until some stupid rumor popped up, which turned out to be completely fabricated by some loser. in her last text to me today my ex said she had to block my status updates on FB because she gets upset when she sees anything from me...that she is depressed about the break up. now, i have not posted a single negative thing about her or the breakup. i didnt even post that i am single now. i just changed my status to single and then hid my relationship status. now, i am thinking about deactivating my account...its a hard decision though. perhaps it will help her get over me faster. but, i dont want that to happen, sadly i still love her and want her in my life. if i deactivate my account would that be "out of sight out of mind?" for her. or perhaps it will make her miss me more, as she will not have any idea of what i am doing....damn, i feel like such a juvenile fool. and mostly, it may help me move on with my own life and not focus too much on what was and could have been. any advice? and by the way. she lives in in texas and myself in vegas. so there is no chance of us bumping into one another...unless i end up flying to austin to visit friends...or cringe, her, Edited April 18, 2012 by tommycapnpants Link to post Share on other sites
Author tommycapnpants Posted April 18, 2012 Author Share Posted April 18, 2012 o, and if i do deactivate my FB should I tell her and leave it at that? Link to post Share on other sites
SuperGeek Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 Why tell her anything? You don't owe her a damn thing. Just delete it and move on. You can also 'suspend' your FB and the activate it again later. Don't tell her anything just do what you gotta do. She isn't your problem anymore. Remember, she LEFT you. Also don't respond to her texts either. If you got a smart phone, download an application that will block them. Also block her emails with filtering as well. Add her number to the banned list with your cell service provider. The goal is to just limit the ways she can contact you and that limits the amount of times you might get 'weak' and respond. Ignorance is bliss... Take some time to heal and then start over again. She made her decision, nothing you can do but move on and take care of yourself. My .02. SuperGeek Link to post Share on other sites
coltsfan1 Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 I deleted my fakebook after my breakup, it was months later and I now wish I would have done it sooner. If you decide to delete it (and you should) DO NOT tell her!!! Just vanish and leave it be, I don't think I would block every way she could contact. Just in case she has a change of heart, just make it a bit difficult. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tommycapnpants Posted April 18, 2012 Author Share Posted April 18, 2012 thanks for the advice guys. im gonna sleep on it. by the way, i just watched eternal sunshine of the spotless mind bad idea Link to post Share on other sites
Phanpooh Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 Delete your fb, and then when you r really ready for your life, AGain, re-creat it. You could see who is true friend, who will miss you after a month, just like die in 5min and see who really with you And about ur ex, you get a month complete NC, that 4weeks will help you calm down, and don't do any stupid things. Let she hav her own space and you too, to find out what really in your mind and her either. In fact, you will missing her, but at least you could keep some good memory with her.... And then, let see what will come after a month... Link to post Share on other sites
SilverBlueAndGold Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 thanks for the advice guys. im gonna sleep on it. by the way, i just watched eternal sunshine of the spotless mind bad idea How come, too close too home? Link to post Share on other sites
Phanpooh Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 For you now, best movie is "friend with benefit". PS: I love this movie.... Helped me deal with that BU... Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 you should remove facebook between you and her, but you don't have to delete your account. just block her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author tommycapnpants Posted April 18, 2012 Author Share Posted April 18, 2012 thanks for the advice phan. s,b and g. yes, that movie hits pretty close to home. not for me, i imagine a lot of us on here can relate. i would still recommend watching it, just be ready for little pangs of pain...and some joy. Link to post Share on other sites
Exit Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 Facebook is crap, especially after a breakup. I say give yourself a test, put in the request to fully delete your account. It takes them 14 days to get rid of it. If within two weeks you really feel the urge to log in again, then you'll have a decision to make. I fully deleted mine (not just deactivated) after my breakup and have not missed it. I never cared to read what people are doing every second of the day and hardly ever made any "status" updates of my own. Real friends know how to text, call, and stop by. Using some website to be "friends" with everyone we've ever talked to in the past 20 years is pointless. At any rate, even if you only make it a week or so before logging in again, at least you'll have taken a short break from it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 18, 2012 Share Posted April 18, 2012 so, i am thinking about deactivating my facebook account. i am the dumpee (almost a month now) and have posted on the 2nd chance and LDR page. anyway, i had been nc with my ex for the better part of 3 weeks. until some stupid rumor popped up, which turned out to be completely fabricated by some loser. in her last text to me today my ex said she had to block my status updates on FB because she gets upset when she sees anything from me...that she is depressed about the break up. now, i have not posted a single negative thing about her or the breakup. i didnt even post that i am single now. i just changed my status to single and then hid my relationship status. now, i am thinking about deactivating my account...its a hard decision though. perhaps it will help her get over me faster. but, i dont want that to happen, sadly i still love her and want her in my life. if i deactivate my account would that be "out of sight out of mind?" for her. or perhaps it will make her miss me more, as she will not have any idea of what i am doing....damn, i feel like such a juvenile fool. and mostly, it may help me move on with my own life and not focus too much on what was and could have been. any advice? and by the way. she lives in in texas and myself in vegas. so there is no chance of us bumping into one another...unless i end up flying to austin to visit friends...or cringe, her, Did I read this right? Your ex, who dumped you, is upset that you changed your status back to single? Why can she see your Facebook? Block her and anyone having to do with her. Problem solved. You owe her nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tommycapnpants Posted April 19, 2012 Author Share Posted April 19, 2012 just received another two text out of the blue from her "i miss you everyday:( i wish i knew what i wanted. i wish i had met you later in life :/" and then 2 seconds later "i hate myself everyday" what the hellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll do i do? Link to post Share on other sites
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 19, 2012 Share Posted April 19, 2012 just received another two text out of the blue from her "i miss you everyday:( i wish i knew what i wanted. i wish i had met you later in life :/" and then 2 seconds later "i hate myself everyday" what the hellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll do i do? Block her from FB, change your number. Link to post Share on other sites
xxSRMxx Posted April 19, 2012 Share Posted April 19, 2012 Deactivate or delete and dont feel the need to explain a thing to anyone. People I know are deleting or deactivating everyday, when i ask why they say ''cant be bothered with it'' You wont miss much, Its dangerous rubbish! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Comfortably Numb Posted April 19, 2012 Share Posted April 19, 2012 Personally, i would simply block her. Why should you lose contact with your friends and family? I deleted my facebook for a while. And then i simply realised i just didn't care what others thought. It's my life and I like to keep connected to old friends. Ah, family not so much =p. Anyways, you can't live your life by what others think. She left you, too bad. She needs to life with the consequences of her actions. Life's not easy, we all make choices, but most people don't look towards the causes and effects. Out of the consideration of the people in your life who actually do matter, i'd just block and be done with the nonsense. Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted April 19, 2012 Share Posted April 19, 2012 just received another two text out of the blue from her "i miss you everyday:( i wish i knew what i wanted. i wish i had met you later in life :/" and then 2 seconds later "i hate myself everyday" what the hellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll do i do? she's being a twat. she's trying to act like she feels bad and doesn't want to feel guilty, and wants you to tell her it's ok and stroke her ego. so, don't fall for it and don't do it. not your problem if she hates herself, that's her choice. Link to post Share on other sites
Author tommycapnpants Posted April 25, 2012 Author Share Posted April 25, 2012 (edited) so interesting weekend. apparently she went on a little family vacation with her dad and sister. i didnt know she was doing so, and tried calling her around 3am her time. she texted me saying please dont call, as she is with her family in their travel rv. i reply with an apology for calling. the next day, she texts me that she had a wonderful day with her family, and had a very long conversation about her and i with her father, and what she should do with her life, saying "it was a very nice conversation." long story short, we text back and forth and she eventually she texts "i love you." my heart shot up into my throat. then she keeps texting about wanting to speak with me, but i was busy pretty much til sunday night. we eventually talk on sunday night, and she still seems confused. i did not go the mushy and dramatic route. rather, i said if we get back together we need to take it slow and write down whatever problems we have had in the past and find solutions to them before we consider trying again. she asked me to call her again, but i still have not. i dont really know where to proceed. should i stay in contact and try to work things out? i am supposed to be flying near where she lives at the end of may, and she wants to spend those couple of days with me. i am so confused, i want her back but do not know how to proceed with this. if i jump right back in she may just toss me to the side so easily again. if i do not keep in contact she may think i have moved on.... perhaps, i should text her saying that i am taking some time to really think about the possibility of us again. and, that she should as well????????????????? Edited April 25, 2012 by tommycapnpants Link to post Share on other sites
flitzanu Posted April 25, 2012 Share Posted April 25, 2012 she hasn't told you she wants to get back together with you. she's telling you things to keep you hooked, and it's working. who cares if she thinks you moved on? give her the one chance if you want, she's trying to meet you to talk so go do that, and if she doesn't SPECIFICALLY tell you she wants to fix this, then quit letting her lead you on. Link to post Share on other sites
exercisemonkey Posted April 26, 2012 Share Posted April 26, 2012 Just leave it deactivated though. Preferably for a few months or it just looks like a cry for attention. Trust me, the further you cut ties the batter it will be for you. Also, if she feels she made a mistake the less available you are the better. Don't hope for miracles. Link to post Share on other sites
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